View My Seats

At the Intersection of Sports and Culture

Photo Credit for Header: Alex Foucre-Stimes

Scores of Los Angeles Transplants Flee Lakers for Clippers Bandwagon

by

Very rarely do I make a point of watching preseason NBA basketball, especially when it’s going up against a pivotal NFL Week 15 Monday Night Football game between the Pittsburgh Steelers and the San Francisco 49ers. However, last night was different because this just wasn’t any other preseason basketball game, this was the Los Angeles Clippers against the Los Angeles Lakers. The Clippers, as you know, just completed a blockbuster trade for all star point guard Chris Paul which occurred after NBA Commissioner David “Big Daddy” Stern threw his considerable weight behind blocking a proposed deal that would have sent the prolific Paul to the Lakers. Now, amidst rumors the Lakers could be on the verge of acquiring Magic center Dwight Howard, the “Battle Los Angeles” has been racheted up several notches as we approach the start of the 2011-12 NBA regular season.

Here a few highlights/impressions from last night’s preseason Clippers/Lakers game live from the Big Office Supply Warehouse.

a – Any victory over the Big Brother Lakers is a big victory for the Red Headed Step Child Clippers. So while most will look at 114-95 as nothing more than the final byproduct of a glorified scrimmage, to me it is the first sign of an earthquake sized paradigm shift in the City of Angels. Fact: the Los Angeles Clippers will be a much more entertaining basketball team to watch than the LA Lakers. I’m guessing a 4/5 seed and a birth into the second round of the Western Conference Playoffs.

b – I’d had no idea that “jeggings” were permitted in the NBA. Whatever gray “layering” Kobe Bryant seems to be wearing over his upper legs/knees it does very little to cover up all the excess mileage on those 33 year old legs.

c – DeAndre Jordan doesn’t need to take a shot outside of the paint, not when he’s 7′ tall and plays a good 4′ over the rim. Did you see his 1st quarter dunk last night? Aggressive. Assertive. It was like something out of NBA Jam. It was so terrifying that I almost felt sorry for Pau Gasol and Andrew Bynum.

d – When did Caron Butler come to the Clippers? If healthy, he could be the invauluble “glue” guy that holds the team together on both ends of the court.

e – And finally, I know Simmons has already made this observation, but in all seriousness, when did the Los Angeles Lakers turn into the Indiana Pacers? Josh McRoberts? Troy Murphy? They’re a Bobby Plump away from recreating the 1954 Indiana State Championship team.

view from the Staples Center courtesy of @itsChawwnney

Quick Snaps: NFL Week 15

by

Quick Snaps: NFL Week 15

Dolphins 30 Bills 23 – By the time this game got interesting, the upper deck of Ralph Wilson Stadium had already cleared out and Reggie Bush was closing in on over 200 rushing yards. Even though Bush has had a solid season, I bet his old team the Saints are quite pleased to have 3rd down specialist Darren Sproles instead.

Saints 42 Vikings 20 – Speaking of New Orleans, QB Drew Brees is now only 304 passing yards away from breaking Dan Marino’s single season record of 5,084 set back in 1984. His performance against the Vikings, 412 yards and 5 TD’s, probably pulls hims just about even with Aaron Rodgers in the race for the NFL MVP.

Chiefs 19 Packers 14 – And while we’re on the subject of Rodgers, good for Romeo Crennel and the Kansas City Chiefs for ending Green Bay’s bid at a perfect season. And judging by the Chiefs reaction following the final whistle, it feels good to be free from the petulant gaze of recently fired head coach Todd Haley.

Seahawks 38 Bears 14 – Remember during last years NFC Championship game when we all thought Caleb Hanie could be the long term solution for the Bears and an injured Jay Cutler? Yeah, about that. Might be time to start reexamining the entire quarterback depth chart in Chicago. Maybe even think about giving Donovan McNabb a call, he’s got some free time.

Colts 27 Titans 13 – I called it! Well, sort of. I mean, I figured it was going to at least be close. But thanks to two former UConn Huskies, Dan Orlovsky and Donald Brown, Indianapolis gets off the schneid and can now begin focusing on trading Peyton Manning to the, gulp, Cowboys!?!

Bengals 20 Rams 13 – St. Louis has a ton of problems but I do not see how giving up on QB Sam Bradford is part of the solution. Unless of course you use a top pick on Robert Griffin III and unleash The Greatest Show on Turf version 2.0.

Redskins 23 Giants 10 – Pardon the Gmen for treating MetLife Stadium today like their own personal lavatory. That’s the kind of stench that lingers.

Panthers 28 Texans 13 – I love a good fumblerooski. That’s the kind of stuff we use to pull during recess. And for Houston, I guess Wade Phillips is really that important to the defense.

Lions 28 Raiders 27 – Megatron both won the game for Detroit and preserved, potentially, my fantasy football season. You’d have thought the Raiders would have put a man or two on him late in the 4th quarter.

Patriots 41 Broncos 23 – While we all rest our #teboners for a second, it’s quite possible that the two best tight ends in the NFL play on the same team. The pairing of Aaron Hernandez and Rob Gronkowski needs a nickname. How about “Smash and Dash” or “Snake and Chopper”?

Eagles 45 Jets 19 – I can’t believe this Philadelphia team still has a legitimate shot at making the playoffs. Andy Reid is like an old pair of underwear that just keeps turning up in your dresser.

Cardinals 20 Browns 17 – Would the Arizona front office look stupid if they cut ties with Kevin Kolb this offseason? The way I see it, things are going just fine with John Skelton leading the show in Glendale.

view from Qualcomm Stadium courtesy of @AnimalFarmMag

 

If Gambling Were Legal: NFL Week 15

by

Jacksonville (+13.5) over ATLANTA – Manchester, NH has a better chance of supporting an NFL team long term than Jacksonville.

Dallas (-6.5) over TAMPA BAY – There is very little reason to watch this game other than it’s Saturday night and your only other option is Love Actually on the Family Channel.

NY GIANTS (-6.5) over Washington – Chris Collinsworth was right, Jason Pierre-Paul really does look like an octopus.

Green Bay (-13.5) over KANSAS CITY – I can’t wait for Green Bay to go 18-0 before losing to the NY Giants in the Super Bowl.

New Orleans (-6.5) over MINNESOTA – Free Joe Webb!

CHICAGO (-3.5) over Seattle – This line could move to Seahawks (-3.5) once Sam Hurd’s “client list” is released. Seriously, you’re an NFL wide receiver making $1 million a year, what in the world inspires you to go out and sling crack rock outside the Morton’s Steakhouse in Rosemont?

BUFFALO (PK) over Miami – Now that Sparano has been fired, I can’t imagine this is a very motivated Dolphins team, especially since it will be 38 degrees and snowing on Sunday.

HOUSTON (-6) over Carolina – This one’s for Wade!

INDIANPOLIS (+6.5) over Tennessee – Dan Orlovsky was a huge fan of the back door cover going back to his days in Storrs, CT.

Cincinnati (-6.5) over ST. LOUIS – The worst part about that CBB brawl in the Queen City last weekend is that we now have to listen to all sorts of sportscasters and reporters mispronounce “X-zavier”.

OAKLAND (+1) over Detroit – I’d like to thank Calvin Johnson for helping me earn the top spot in my fantasy football playoffs and for single handedly costing me any chance of advancing past the first round. Megatron is dead to me.

PHILADELPHIA (-3) over NY Jets – Being a New England Patriots fan in a New York television market has never been worse. Instead of Pats/Broncos in Denver, I’ll be stuck with Marv Albert and Rich Gannon live from the Linc. All I want for Christmas is Direct TV.

New England (-7) over DENVER- I feel bad for Lindsey Vonn. Marriage is a long time to wait before having sex again.

ARIZONA (-6.5) over Cleveland – I don’t think the NFL had Brad McCoy in mind when they thought about hiring independent neurologists to roam the sidelines during games. But you know what, he’s probably better than the trainers they have out in Cleveland.

Baltimore (-2.5) over SAN DIEGO – With a win here, Ravens can put Methuselah out of his misery once and for all.

Pittsburgh (+3) over SAN FRANCISCO – Roethlisberger you old sand-bagging SOB.

Last Week 6-10 (Overall 108-97)

view from the Georgia Dome courtesy of @kmillionaire

 

Quick Snaps: NFL Week 14

by

Texans 20 Bengals 19 – Could the TJ Yates Experience propel Houston all the way to a #1 or #2 seed and a 1st round bye in the AFC playoffs? And if so, would they be 3.5 point home dogs to either the Steelers or Ravens?

Lions 34 Vikings 28 – “Detective” Joe Webb almost led Minnesota back from the brink and has perhaps stirred up a QB controversy in the Land of 10,000 Lakes. I say the Vikings transition to a two QB system, like a lot of college programs, with Christian Ponder in for passing plays and the Detective in for the spread option/wildcat. Could be a very nice compliment to Adrian Peterson.

Saints 22 Titans 17 – Towards the end of the summer, I went out on a nice late afternoon jog and didn’t get more than a mile into it before I managed to pull both of my calf muscles nearly simultaneously. After that, I learned the value of a dynamic stretching routing before and after any cardiovascular activity. Here’s hoping Matt Hasselbeck has learned his lesson as well.

Eagles 26 Dolphins 10 – Looks like I rode the Fins one too many weeks.

Jets 37 Chiefs 10 – Tyler Palko is not a very good role model. Thanks to his recent play, more and more kids will mistakenly grow up believing that they too can be a starting quarterback in the NFL

Patriots 34 Redskins 27 – The view for this post comes from my friend Chip who was sitting in the upper deck during today’s game at FedEx Field. Rest assured fellow Patriot fans, he told me that New England’s secondary is just as bad live, if not worse, than it is on tv.

Falcons 31 Panthers 23 – Bill Simmons was right, it is next to impossible to tell Roddy White and Julio Jones apart.

Jaguars 41 Buccaneers 14 – After watching the Jags play San Diego last Monday night, I didn’t think Blaine Gabbert was going to put up 41 points all season, let alone in one game.

Ravens 24 Colts 10 – Baltimore is now 7-0 at home. Must be the band.

Broncos 13 Bears 10 – You think there will be many people watching the Patriots/Broncos game next weekend?

Cardinals 21 49ers 19 – Bad, bad loss for the Niners who are no longer assured of a 1st round bye in the NFC playoffs. And for Arizona, would you believe that the Cards still have a shot at making the postseason? Maybe it has something to do with Larod Stephens-Howling who Cardinals radio broadcasters affectionately refer to as “The Hyphen”. Easily the greatest nickname in the NFC West.

Packers 46 Raiders 16 – I wonder if the CBS production trailer ever thought about giving their viewers a live look-in to the Broncos/Bears game on Fox. Can’t imagine there were many folks watching the 4th quarter of this laugher in Lambeau.

Chargers 37 Bills 10 – It would be soooooo like Norv Turner to save his job during this the final month of the season.

 

 

If Gambling Were Legal: NFL Week 14

by

NFL Week 14

PITTSBURGH (-14) over Cleveland – I had no idea that the cities of Cleveland and Pittsburgh were only 130 miles apart.

Indianapolis (+16.5) over BALTIMORE – I’m riding Dan Orlovsky all the way to the back of the endzone.

CINCINNATI (-3) over Houston – Andre Johnson’s hamstring is singly handedly killing any chance I had at winning my fantast football playoffs.

Oakland (+11) over GREEN BAY – Deadspin just ran an interesting story on how owning stock in the Packers isn’t really all its cracked up to be. I guess now I’ll have to restrategize my Christmas wish list.

NY JETS (-10.5) over Kansas City Chiefs – Why would Charlie Weis want to go and coach at the University of Kansas? I thought Florida was his “forever job”.

DETROIT (-10) over Minnesota – Wait, Ndamukong Suh is from Portlandia?

TENNESSEE (+3.5) over New Orleans – Upset Special!!! Upset Special!!! No Music City Miracle Sunday for Drew Brees and the Saints.

MIAMI (-3) over Philadelphia – The Eagles should have left half their team in Seattle after the way they played against the Seahawks last Thursday night. The Dolphins are quite simply the best 4-8 team OF ALL TIME!!!!

New England (-8) over WASHINGTON – I’ll see your Tony Gonzalez, Shannon Sharpe, and Antonio Gates and raise you a Rob Gronkowski. Look out Jacoby Ellsbury, Gronk’s coming for your gaggle of female followers from the greater Natick area.

CAROLINA (+2.5) over Atlanta – Cam Newton > Matt Ryan.

Tampa Bay (-2) over JACKSONVILLE – When your entire upper deck is covered in tarps, maybe it’s time to relocate?

San Francisco (-4) over ARIZONA – The suddenly frisky Cardinals are only getting 4 points at home to the NFC West Champs. Jim Harbaugh is way too intense to allow his 49ers team to slack off down the stretch. He also doesn’t believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, or ultimate frisbee.

DENVER (-3.5) over Chicago – If Jay Cutler and Matt Forte were playing the Bears would be favored by 3.5. Instead, Caleb Hanie and Marion Barber lead Chicago into Denver to take on the Broncos and Tim “The Greatest Leader Of All Time” Tebow.

SAN DIEGO (-7) over Buffalo – The Chargers make me feel like George Costanza when he losses his glasses. “You’re eating onions, you’re spotting dimes. I don’t know what the hell is going on!”

NY Giants (+3.5) over DALLAS – What a game. And I’m already regretting this pick.

SEATTLE (-5.5) over St. Louis – I’m happy for Albert Pujols I really am. $254 million is too much for anyone to turn down, especially a senior citizen.

Last Week 9-7 (Overall 102-87)

view from Heinz Field courtesy of @NateBlythe