View My Seats

At the Intersection of Sports and Culture

Photo Credit for Header: Alex Foucre-Stimes

Defending the BCS: Life Isn’t Always Fair

by

Don’t chalk me down as one of the several hundred thousand bloggers and college football fans who have a problem with the BCS. It is what it is and things aren’t going to change until oil magnates like T. Boone Pickens start clamoring for greater equality because their beloved Oklahoma St. Cowpokes got screwed out of a chance to play for the national championship this season.  Until then, you will continue to allow the Tostitos and Allstates of the world to both ruin your New Year and any chance of a 6 team playoff that would finally legitimize the college football postseason.

Here’s an uncompromising preview of the BCS bowl games. Game picks to come later, except for the Orange Bowl. Clemson/WVU doesn’t deserve any extra attention.

Rose Bowl: No. 5 Oregon vs No. 10 Wisconsin – Oregon’s offense could score on the ’86 Bears while Wisconsin looked a step slow against a very pedestrian Michigan State attack led by Kirk Cousins who, coincidentally, just completed his 10th season under center for the Spartans. As a Badger fan, my only hope for success in Pasadena would seem to be if the Ducks show up entirely consumed by their Nike “swag”. For the final time, yes Brett Musburger we understand that Phil Knight is from Eugene and donates an unhealthy amount of money to the football program. And yes, Oregon’s “hypercolor” yellow into green 3D uniforms are a beauty to behold.

Fiesta Bowl: No. 3 Oklahoma State vs No. 4 Stanford – My favorite part about Bedlam 2011 occurred during the pregame introductions when Okla St. honored Justin Blackmon along with other Cowboy seniors. The only problem, Blackmon is a junior. I guess the good, kind folks of Stillwater aren’t too confident their star receiver is going to return for his “real” senior season next year. As for Stanford, tough to imagine many undergrads bypassing their Organic Chemistry lab for a trip down to the desert. Perhaps they should look at a trip to Glendale as field research. I’m sure there are any number of gullible Environmental Science TA’s in Palo Alto who would be willing to cancel classes if they knew about the abundance of Saguaro Cactus Flowers in the greater Phoenix area.

Sugar Bowl: No. 11 Virginia Tech vs No 13 Michigan – Why won’t Brady Hoke wear a headset? According to Mike Francesa, college coaches that don’t wear headsets aren’t really coaching. Of course, Big Mike was really referring to Joe Paterno who, in fairness, has overlooked much much more than just game planning these past few years in Happy Valley. For Va. Tech, you definitely don’t deserve to go to a BCS Bowl, especially after losing to Clemson for the second time this season. But, the Hokies “travel well” which I guess stands for something for bowl organizers whose primary objective is to make money not put together the most compelling, competitive matchup.

Orange Bowl: No. 15 Clemson vs No. 23 West Virginia – Holy crap, I wouldn’t watch this game even if I were related to Jerry West.

BCS Championship Game: No 1. LSU vs No. 2 Alabama – The winner of this game should take on the loser of Indianapolis Colts vs Jacksonville Jaguars to prove once and for all that the top of SEC is just as good as the very very bottom of the NFL.

view from EverBank Field courtesy of @meghanmilissa

Quick Snaps: NFL Week 13

by

Titans 23 Bills 17 – Better late than never for Chris Johnson who has strung together two solid efforts in a row after nearly sleepwalking his way through the entire first half of the season. Probably still doesn’t make him worth all that new money but he has recently helped to keep Tennessee right in the thick of the AFC Wild Card race.

Chiefs 10 Bears 3 – First Jay Cutler now Matt Forte. I wouldn’t expect to see many Caleb Hanie and Marion Barber III jerseys lining the Soldier Field stands anytime soon.

Dolphins 34 Raiders 14 – Maybe Reggie Bush wasn’t such a bad signing for Miami after all? And Rolando McClain, you and your aquatic themed rugby shirt will haunt my dreams for years.

Broncos 35 Vikings 32 – If Denver takes care of business at home against the Bears next weekend they would then head into their week 15 showdown vs the New England Patriots with a 8-5 record and at least a share of the AFC West lead. Not too shabby for a quarterback that nobody believed in besides Gainesville, twitter, and all of Christendom.

Steelers 35 Bengals 7 – Was Cincy exposed as a junior varsity squad or is Pittsburgh once again the real deal?

Patriots 31 Colts 24 – Not a bad day for Colts backup backup quarterback, and UConn grad, Dan Orlovsky who threw for 353 yards against a Patriots secondary that looked like they should be playing in the Big, not AFC, East.

Panthers 38 Buccaneers 19 – Tampa wore their throwback uniforms and somehow manage to play like it was 1976 all over again. The only thing missing this time around was the Old Ball Coach.

Jets 34 Redskins 19 – I was down in DC this weekend and a good friend of mine who works in the District told me that there is a movement afoot to have the team move back to the RFK area. Apparently FedEx Field is a little too inconvenient for the lobbyists on K Street. Heaven forbid that Washington makes a decision without special interests in mind.

Texans 17 Falcons 10 – TJ Yates, I really didn’t believe you had it in you. Perhaps the entire Houston team was inspired by the sheer thought of Jack Delhomme lining up under center.

Ravens 24 Browns 10 – Ray Rice should have been on the cover of Madden ’12 instead of Peyton Hillis.

Packers 38 Giants 35 – Aaron Rodgers has clearly figured out that there is no spoon.

Cardinals 19 Cowboys 13 – And yet the cameras continue to focus on Rob Ryan.

49ers 26 Rams 0 – Santa Clara 49ers just doesn’t have the same ring.

view from the Superdome courtesy of @KPLC7Sports

 

If Gambling Were Legal: NFL Week 13

by

20111201-183558.jpgPhiladelphia (-3) over SEATTLE – It’s a good thing Andy Reid never changes his in game costume because I hear December’s in the Pacific Northwest can get a pretty frosty.

BUFFALO (-2.5) over Tennessee – Titans clearly need this game more than the Bills but I have a sneaking suspicion that Tennessee isn’t really all that good and that Stevie “Two Guns” Johnson will be able to atone for his I’ll timed case of the dropsies against the Jets.

CHICAGO (-7) over Kansas City – Caleb Hanie probably doesn’t deserve to be giving a touchdown at home but when the opposing quarterback is Tyler Palko, 7 points isn’t nearly enough.

MIAMI (-3) over Oakland – Who grows a better looking red beard: Carson Palmer or Eli Manning? I’d like to see on of these ginger haired quarterbacks grow out the scruff over the holidays just long enough to make themselves look like Yukon Cornelius from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

Cincinnati (+6.5) over PITTSBURGH – Speaking of the Red Rocket, I’d be much more Team Dalton this season if his TCU team hadn’t beaten Wisconsin in the Rose Bowl. While we’re talking about the Badgers, is there a college basketball team more frustrating to play against than Wisconsin? It’s like going up against a group of middle aged MD’s during a friendly game of afternoon pickup at the local YMCA. Tons of sharp elbows, rec-specs, and sweat.

Baltimore (-6.5) over CLEVELAND – When Joe Flacco grows a handlebar mustache he looks like a member of Tony Stewart’s pit crew. At halftime, I half expect to see him in the parking lot rotating Ray Lewis’ tires

NY Jets (-3) over WASHINGTON – Speaking of the Nation’s Capital, I’ll be hanging around the Beltway this weekend just hoping to run into Alex Ovechkin and his gaggle of Soviet Supermodels.

HOUSTON (+2.5) over Atlanta – Funny, I always thought TJ Yates was a romance novelist from the 1920’s.

TAMPA BAY (-3.5) over Carolina – I like Josh Freeman and the Bucs offense to finally show up against this really pathetic Panthers defense. Then again, if enough fans don’t show up at Raymond James Stadium this game may or may not actually happen.

Denver (+1.5) over MINNESOTA – When Kurt Warner tells you to back off of the “genuflecting” you know you may need to reassess your priorities.

SAN FRANCISCO (-13) over St. Louis – It’s hard to believe that this Rams team was a game away from making the playoff last season.

Dallas (-4.5) over ARIZONA – Why is this line only -4.5? Is Quincy Carter starting at QB for the Cowboys and nobody telling us?

Green Bay (-7) over NY GIANTS – Finally, the Giants have been exposed as the frauds we always kinda felt they were going to be.

Indianapolis (+20) over NEW ENGLAND – I would expect to see the 2011 debut of Ryan Mallett by about the 3rd quarter.

Detroit (+9) over NEW ORLEANS – Lost in the stomp and subsequent suspension is the fact that Ndamukong Suh is one of the most overrated players in the NFL.

JACKSONVILLE (+2.5) over San Diego – Lowest rated Monday Night Football game ever.

View From Seattle courtesy of @deionsanders

Quick Snaps: NFL Week 12

by

Falcons 24 Vikings 14 – I’ll give Christian Ponder and Percy Harvin credit, they made this game much closer than most people thought. Your move Saints/Giants.

Bengals 23 Browns 20 – Peyton Hillis is alive and well but not healthy enough to lead the Browns past Andy Dalton and the Bengals. For Cleveland, is it time to start thinking about how Matt Barkley will look in orange/brown?

Titans 23 Buccaneers 17 – Did I call it or did I call it? I told y’all that Chris Johnson was going to bust out and I do believe 23 carries for 190 yards qualifies as a breakout performance. Poor Raheem Morris. Maybe it’s time to dust off the old resume after all.

Panthers 27 Colts 19 – You know what they say, horseshoes and hand grenades.

Cardinals 23 Rams 20 – How long before Arizona returner extraordinaire Patrick Peterson starts getting the Devin Hester treatment? Also, 228 yards! Who knew Beanie Wells had it in him? I guess the Ohio State alum wasn’t too affected by his alma-mater’s loss to Michigan Saturday.

Jets 28 Bills 24 – First, Stevie Johnson mocks Plaxico Burress during a TD celebration and then the Buffalo WR drops a crucial pass from Ryan Fitzpatrick which could have led to a Buffalo score and an improbable last second comeback over the jets. I guess you could say Stevie put his foot in his mouth or rather, shot himself in the hands.

Texans 20 Jaguars 13 – I feel for Matt Leinart, I really do. If his season has really come to a close after only one start, I guess it helps to know that he has already made over $20 million serving primarily as a backup QB. I’d say that kinda cash is worth a broken collarbone now and again.

Raiders 25 Bears 20 – I was riding with Caleb Hanie until his 3 interceptions, and 6 Sebastian Janikowski FG’s, did the Bears in. It’s going to be very close between the Falcons/Saints/Lions/Giants/Cowboys/Bears for the final playoff spot.

Redskins 23 Seahawks 17 – Rex Grossman just proving all the haters wrong once again.

Patriots 38 Eagles 20 – The Patriots secondary made Vince Young look like second coming of Randall Cunningham early on but eventually settled down long enough to allow Tom Brady and the New England offense to take over. Speaking of over, could this be the end of Andy Reid in Philly?

Broncos 16 Chargers 13 – Who goes first: Andy Reid or Norv Turner? I say Reid, the venom in Philly is much more paralyzing than in San Diego. And Tim Tebow, no postgame handshakes for John Elway until he fesses up and admits that he doesn’t want you to be the Broncos long term solution at quarterback.

view from Arrowhead Stadium courtesy of @corylutgen

If Gambling Were Legal: NFL Week 12

by

NFL Week 12 (Nothing like a little holiday to set your writing schedule back a few days.)

ST. LOUIS (-2.5) over Arizona – Suggestion. Arizona returns the name Cardinals to St. Louis in exchange for Sam Bradford and a player to be named. The St. Louis Cardinals can now start fresh with a new/old identity and then roll the dice by drafting Baylor QB Robert Griffin III while the Arizona Fighting Fitzgeralds pick up a young QB in Bradford who is sure to make most desert dwellers forget all about the Kevin Kolb Experiment.

NY JETS (-9.5) over Buffalo – It would be so like the bully Jets to take their frustations out on the once proud Buffalo Bills. Question for New York, who would you rather have as your quarterback: Mark Sanchez, Mark Brunell, or Glenn Foley?

CINCINNATI (-7) over Cleveland – With the NBA lockout coming to an end, I guess we won’t be seeing LeBron James suiting up for the Browns anytime soon.

Houston (-6.5) over JACKSONVILLE – I mean, all Matt Leinart should have to do is hand the ball off to Arian Foster and Ben Tate a combined 50 times for the Texans to be successful against the Jags. But, this is Matt Leinart after all so I wouldn’t be surprised if this thing is won or lost on the very last drive of the game.

Carolina (-3.5) over INDIANAPOLIS – If the Colts don’t plan on using the top pick in the 2012 draft on Andrew Luck, maybe they should have a few scouts hang around Lucas Oil Stadium next weekend to watch the Wisconsin Badgers take on the Michigan State Spartans in the first ever Legends vs. Leaders Big Ten Championship Game. Badger quarterback Russell Wilson would be a steal for Indy in the 3rd or 4th round, even though the diminutive QB measures in at roughly the same height as Drew Brees.

TENNESSEE (-3.5) over Tampa Bay – Mark this down as the game where Chris Johnson finally decided to bring the noise. Or he rushes for less than 25 yards again and the Titans decide to cut him on the spot.

ATLANTA (-9.5) over Minnesota – I just realized that none of these Sunday games are any good. I guess that’s the price we pay for three stellar contests on Thanksgiving. And, just in case you were wondering, for Thursday I went with DETROIT (+6.5), Miami (+7) and San Fran (+3.5). That 49ers one hurts me the most, thought they had a chance of covering till the very end.

Chicago (+3) over OAKLAND – Upset Special!!!! Upset Special!!! Caleb Hanie does it for the Bears with a big assist from Jay Cutler who’ll be watching from the sidelines while wearing baggy sweatpants and one of those stupid looking brimmed winter hats.

SEATTLE (-3) over Washington – As I type the Apple Cup between Washington and Washington State is on in the background and I’m pretty sure Ed Hochuli’s younger brother is the referee. Can’t be certain however as this Hochuli has much much smaller deltoids.

New England (-3.5) over PHILADELPHIA – Too many injuries for the Eagles who could lose this game and still have an outside chance in the NFC East.

SAN DIEGO (-5.5) over Denver – John Elway is such a flip-flopper that Mitt Romney has decided to make him his running mate in 2012. Hey ohh!!

KANSAS CITY (+10.5) over Pittsburgh – I’m calling Kyle Orton is in at QB for the Chiefs by halftime.

New York (+7) over NEW ORLEANS – It would be just like the Giants to make this a close ballgame.

Last Week 9-5 (Overall 84-76)

view from Stanford/Notre Dame courtesy of @DavidHibiske