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If Gambling Were Legal: NFL Week 12

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NFL Week 12 (Nothing like a little holiday to set your writing schedule back a few days.)

ST. LOUIS (-2.5) over Arizona – Suggestion. Arizona returns the name Cardinals to St. Louis in exchange for Sam Bradford and a player to be named. The St. Louis Cardinals can now start fresh with a new/old identity and then roll the dice by drafting Baylor QB Robert Griffin III while the Arizona Fighting Fitzgeralds pick up a young QB in Bradford who is sure to make most desert dwellers forget all about the Kevin Kolb Experiment.

NY JETS (-9.5) over Buffalo – It would be so like the bully Jets to take their frustations out on the once proud Buffalo Bills. Question for New York, who would you rather have as your quarterback: Mark Sanchez, Mark Brunell, or Glenn Foley?

CINCINNATI (-7) over Cleveland – With the NBA lockout coming to an end, I guess we won’t be seeing LeBron James suiting up for the Browns anytime soon.

Houston (-6.5) over JACKSONVILLE – I mean, all Matt Leinart should have to do is hand the ball off to Arian Foster and Ben Tate a combined 50 times for the Texans to be successful against the Jags. But, this is Matt Leinart after all so I wouldn’t be surprised if this thing is won or lost on the very last drive of the game.

Carolina (-3.5) over INDIANAPOLIS – If the Colts don’t plan on using the top pick in the 2012 draft on Andrew Luck, maybe they should have a few scouts hang around Lucas Oil Stadium next weekend to watch the Wisconsin Badgers take on the Michigan State Spartans in the first ever Legends vs. Leaders Big Ten Championship Game. Badger quarterback Russell Wilson would be a steal for Indy in the 3rd or 4th round, even though the diminutive QB measures in at roughly the same height as Drew Brees.

TENNESSEE (-3.5) over Tampa Bay – Mark this down as the game where Chris Johnson finally decided to bring the noise. Or he rushes for less than 25 yards again and the Titans decide to cut him on the spot.

ATLANTA (-9.5) over Minnesota – I just realized that none of these Sunday games are any good. I guess that’s the price we pay for three stellar contests on Thanksgiving. And, just in case you were wondering, for Thursday I went with DETROIT (+6.5), Miami (+7) and San Fran (+3.5). That 49ers one hurts me the most, thought they had a chance of covering till the very end.

Chicago (+3) over OAKLAND – Upset Special!!!! Upset Special!!! Caleb Hanie does it for the Bears with a big assist from Jay Cutler who’ll be watching from the sidelines while wearing baggy sweatpants and one of those stupid looking brimmed winter hats.

SEATTLE (-3) over Washington – As I type the Apple Cup between Washington and Washington State is on in the background and I’m pretty sure Ed Hochuli’s younger brother is the referee. Can’t be certain however as this Hochuli has much much smaller deltoids.

New England (-3.5) over PHILADELPHIA – Too many injuries for the Eagles who could lose this game and still have an outside chance in the NFC East.

SAN DIEGO (-5.5) over Denver – John Elway is such a flip-flopper that Mitt Romney has decided to make him his running mate in 2012. Hey ohh!!

KANSAS CITY (+10.5) over Pittsburgh – I’m calling Kyle Orton is in at QB for the Chiefs by halftime.

New York (+7) over NEW ORLEANS – It would be just like the Giants to make this a close ballgame.

Last Week 9-5 (Overall 84-76)

view from Stanford/Notre Dame courtesy of @DavidHibiske

 

Quick Snaps: NFL Week 11

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NFL WEEK 11 – SUNDAY RECAP

Browns 14 Jaguars 10 – The good news is that, unless you have Direct TV, this game was probably only on in two markets and I’m still not even sure if Jacksonville is aware that they have a professional football team.

Lions 49 Panthers 35 – Matthew Stafford threw for 5 TD’s as the Lions took care of business against the Panthers as they now prepare for their biggest Thanksgiving Day Game perhaps ever. With the undefeated Packers coming to town this Thursday, Detroit has a chance to show the national television audience that they are for real for the first time since the retirement of #20.

Packers 35 Buccaneers 26 – Speaking of Green Bay, the Bucs made this game on the Frozen Tundra much closer than most of us anticipated. But in the end, Aaron Rodgers played like Aaron Rodgers and the 10-0 Pack now prepare to feast on a little Turducken.

Dolphins 35 Bills 8 – Maybe Matt Moore is the long term answer at quarterback for the suddenly 3-7 Miami Dolphins. For Buffalo, 4-1 feels like eons ago and if things keep trending downward, look for Buffalo to switch uniforms again before next season.

Raiders 27 Vikings – Oakland was able to hold on for dear life in the Ponderosa as the Vikings mounted a valiant comeback only to fall a little short thanks to the rookie play of rookie quarterback Christian Ponder. Here’s hoping Adrian Peterson isn’t too hurt as he continues to show us all that great running backs can continue to run hard even after signing lucrative contract extensions. (We’re looking at you Chris Johnson.)

Cowboys 27 Redskins 24 – Tony Romo continues to impress as the Cowboys needed all the skill and talent they could muster to outlast the surprisingly spunky Redskins. Hold tight Washington fans, help in the form of Peyton Manning is coming next season. (No I don’t have any insider info but when this now rumor does come to fruition next offseason, I would like at least partial credit for calling it all the way back in October.)

Ravens 31 Bengals 24 – Late last night, during the second half of the USC/Oregon game, a little twitter hyperbole took place as a few notable football pundits like Peter King, lined up to praise Matt Barkley and begin to question if the Trojan quarterback might just as well turn out to be a better pro than the anointed one Andrew Luck. I liked what I saw from Barkley last night, but if we’re going to talk about an “under the radar” college quarterback who could end up being the goods in the pros, look no further than Waco, Texas and Baylor star Robert Griffin III. Dude is electric.

Seahawks 24 Rams 7 – In any other season, the NFC West would be the Seattle Seahawks to lose. And poor Sam Bradford. Are the St. Louis wide receivers that bad or do the Rams need to look for another franchise QB?

49ers 23 Cardinals 7 – A Happy Harbaugh Day to the brothers Harbaugh as Jim Harbaugh brings his 9-1 49ers into Baltimore to take on brother John Harbaugh and the 7-3 Ravens on Thanksgiving night. Apologies in advance if you do not get the NFL Network.

Falcons 23 Titans 17 – Jake Locker the future is now. Well, probably in a few years as Tennessee starting QB Matt Hasselbeck will probably be back next week after suffering a minor arm injury against Atlanta. The Falcons look to be one of 4 teams along with the Cowboys, Bears, Lions battling for the 2 wild card spots.

Bears 31 Chargers 20 – Speaking of Chicago, Jay Cutler took care of business once again as the Bears look like a legit obstacle in the Packers path to perfection. And Philip Rivers, enjoy the bench as I’m poised to announce Big Ben Roethlisberger as my fantasy starter for the remainder of the season.

view from MetLife Stadium courtesy of @wcv76

 

 

If Gambling Were Legal: NFL Week 11

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NFL Week 11

NY Jets (-6) over DENVER – I understand Tim Tebow is never going to be the most accomplished thrower of the football but aren’t there a few other routes he could complete on a regular basis besides the straight down the field go pattern? Like what about a swing pass to a running back in the flat? Or a TE screen? Quick slant anybody?

Tennessee (+6) over ATLANTA – Media members think Mike Smith made a mistake last week against the Saints by going for it on 4th and 1 from his own 29 yard line while his Falcons players apparently still love the uber-agressive play calling. Either way, Falcons and Titans both still have a legitimate shot at making the playoffs.

MIAMI (-2) over Buffalo – All it took for Reggie Bush to break out of his season long malaise was the dissolution of Kim Kardashian’s brief, but profitable, marriage. On a separate note, could the Dolphins be the perfect landing spot for a healthy Peyton Manning next season?

Baltimore (-7) over Cincinnati – Didn’t love what I saw from the Bengals last week against the Steelers. Didn’t watch much of the Ravens game in Seattle but saw enough to know that a Joe Flacco led offense is about as reliable as

Jacksonville (-1) over CLEVELAND – The Jaguars helmets remind me of those hypercolor tshirts that were big back in the early 90s.

MINNESOTA (+1) over Oakland – While most people focus on the embarrassing disappointment Titans running back Chris Johnson has been this season after holding out and signing a lucrative long term contract, maybe more attention should be given to Adrian Peterson, who also signed a new deal this summer, but who has refused to let all the new money slow him down.

DETROIT (-7) over Carolina – The Lions are going to run all over the suspect Panthers defense while avoiding the dreaded pre Thanksgiving Day trap game. There was a time when the Packers/Lions Turkey Day classic was destined to be the most impactful contest of the year. Now, this game can best be described as two ships passing in the night.

GREEN BAY (-14) over Tampa Bay – A whole bunch of sports talk show have started debating what’s more likely: 16-0 for the Packers or 0-16 for the Indianapolis Colts. I say the Colts going winless is a much more likely scenario because they have absolutely nothing to play for other than Andrew Luck and the only way to get the top pick in the 2012 NFL Draft is to lose the remaining games on their schedule. If pride or saving Jim Caldwell’s job were a major motivational factor you’d thing they would have already won a game or two.

Dallas (-7.5) over WASHINGTON – Best thing going for the Redskins are their yellow throwback pants.

Arizona (+9.5) over SAN FRANCISCO – Now THIS is a trap game! Niners are going to look past the lowly Cardinals in anticipation of their Thanksgiving Night game against the Ravens in Baltimore. I for one am already excited about the endless “human interest” pieces feature brothers John and Jim Harbaugh.

Seattle (+2) over ST. LOUIS – Maybe Tarvaris Jackson isn’t that bad after all.

CHICAGO (-3.5) over San Diego – Maybe Philip Rivers isn’t as good as we thought.

NY GIANTS (-4.5) over Philadelphia – The Eagles have been the biggest disappointment in the NFL. Now they must deal with a QB who has broken ribs and a WR with maxed out credit cards.

NEW ENGLAND (-15) Kansas City – Tyler Palko is going to be as bad as we thought.

Last Week 9-7 (Overall: 75-71)

view from Sports Authority Field courtesy of @blaxirican52

 

 

Quick Snaps: NFL Week 10

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Steelers 24 Bengals 17 – Kudos to the programming wizards over at CBS for having the good sense to switch out of the Cowboys/Bills blowout and send the viewing audience to a much more competitive game in Cincinnati. This was my first time watching Andy Dalton play quarterback for the Bengals and I have to say, even though his team lost to the Steelers and he threw a killer interception late in the 4th quarter, the rookie carries himself with the presence of a 10 year veteran. Now if we can only convince him to dye black tiger stripes across his red hair.

Cardinals 21 Eagles 17 – What CBS did right, FOX did incredibly wrong. With Arizona on the 1 yard line and about to go up late over the heavily favored Eagles, FOX made the inexcusable decision to switch over to the start of the Giants/49ers. Now, I understand that I live in a New York market but someone needs to tell me how it makes sense to take viewers away from the exciting conclusion of a major upset just so we can listen to Joe Buck introduce the 49ers starting offensive line. I would find this decision curious even I were the most diehard Giants fan.

Cowboys 44 Bills 7 – I asked my buddy Casey, a huge Bills fan, if he has any buyers remorse regarding quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick who, after signing a $60 million extension with Buffalo, has put together back to back stinkers against the Jets and now Cowboys. His response, “he’s a heck of a lot better than Rob Johnson, Alex Van Pelt, Trent Edwards, Kelly Holcomb, and J.P. Losman”. Well played kind sir, well played.

Saints 26 Falcons 23 – If Atlanta ends up missing the playoffs this season, many Falcons fans will look back to the questionable decision to go for it on 4th and 1 from their own 29 yard line in overtime as the reason to why their team is watching the football postseason from their sofas. For his transgressions, Mike Smith will not be allowed to shop at the Home Depot until after the holidays.

Dolphins 20 Redskins 9 – From leaders in the Andrew Luck sweepstakes to feisty favorites, this Miami team is shaping into a potential playoff spoiler. Could be that the Dolphins determine the final hierarchy in the AFC East this season.

Broncos 17 Chiefs 10 – Tim Tebow only completed 2 passes yet Denver somehow managed to beat KC thanks mostly to a dominant performance by the defense. To be fair, the Broncos only called 8 passing plays all game. It’s almost like John Fox wants Tebow to fail so that the Bronco fans will get off his back about playing the popular icon. The fact remains, the more Tebow wins, the more likely he becomes a part of the future in Denver.

Bears 37 Lions 13 – Heading into this game, I really liked Chicago’s chances against the Lions, even though Detroit was coming off of a bye and the Bears were still recover after a hard fought win over the Eagles. There’s something missing with this Lions team – like a reliable running game – and their chippy attitude isn’t winning over many fans.

49ers 27 Giants 20 – The Niners are now pretty much assured of at least a #2 seed in the NFC playoffs and with only one loss, could overtake the presently undefeated Packers for the top spot. If San Fran were to host Green Bay in the NFC Championship Game, how much would the Packers be favored by? -3.5?

view from MetLife Stadium courtesy of @gligelis

If Gambling Were Legal: NFL Week 10

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NFL Week 10 Picks

SAN DIEGO (-7) over Oakland – I had no idea that the aircraft carrier which is hosting this weekend’s UNC/Michigan St. basketball game was also the same vessel that transported, and then disposed of, Osama Bin Laden’s dead body. I certainly hope the same fate doesn’t await the losing coach of this NCAA season opener.

Pittsburgh (-3) over CINCINNATI – It would be a great story if the Bengals were somehow able to pull off the mild upset. At 6-2, there is an outside chance, even with a loss this weekend, that Cincinnati could overtake one of the AFC East teams for a Wild Card spot, much to Jim Nantz’s dismay.

KANSAS CITY (-3) over Denver – Why wouldn’t the spread option work in the NFL? If Tim Tebow was successful operating this style of offense in the SEC, where the best college football athletes preside, shouldn’t it stand to reason that he could do the same thing as the QB of the Broncos? Also, until he ended up on my fantasy team, I thought Jackie Battle was the starting point guard for the Minnesota Lynx of the WNBA.

INDIANAPOLIS (+3) over Jacksonville – If not now when?

DALLAS (-5.5) over Buffalo – Chalk me down as one of the many people seriously disappointed by the Buffalo Bills last weekend against the Jets. If that team doesn’t have 8-8 written all over than I don’t know who does.

Houston (-3) over TAMPA BAY – Houston is quietly emerging as one of those AFC teams that has a legitimate shot at making a postseason run to the Super Bowl. One Texan who won’t be going all the way is Governor Rick Perry. Oooof, what a disaster!!!

Tennessee (+3.5) over CAROLINA – Not sure why a 2-6 team is giving points against a .500 club. Also, at the beginning of the season who would have thought that by Week 10, Andy Dalton is the favorite to win NFL Rookie of the Year and not Cam Newton?

MIAMI (-4) over Washington – I’ll say this about the Dolphins, they sure do seem to care a heck of a lot more than most 1-7 teams. And by the way, have you seen these new Miami Marlins uniforms? Doc Brown and Marty McFly would be so disappointed.

ATLANTA (PK) over New Orleans – I like the Falcons and Julio Jones at home plus the Saints haven’t be the same since head coach Sean Payton lost all of his knee ligaments.

CHICAGO (-3) over Detroit – After Monday night’s victory in Philadelphia I’m officially on the Bears bandwagon. Jay Cutler is one more quality win away from ending all exercise bike jokes.

St. Louis (+2.5) over CLEVELAND – Is Peyton Hillis really missing games because of strep throat and various other maladies or because his agent has told him this is the best wat to pursue a new contract? Either way, the Madden Curse continues.

PHILADELPHIA (-13.5) over Arizona – Doesn’t it seem like Andy Reid has worn the same black Eagles winter parka and hat since he started ambling on the Philly sidelines over a decade ago? He kinda looks like Costanza in the gore-tex jacket.

SEATTLE (+6.5) over Baltimore – This just feels like the sort of game where Joe Flacco and the Ravens play not to lose only to end up winning on a last second field goal.

SAN FRANCISCO (-3.5) over NY Giants – I will never buy a Hyundai from Brad Benson.

NY JETS (-1.5) over New England – Ever since the Dallas Cowboys unlocked the secret of defending against the Patriots offense, teams have been loading up on the interior pass rush and bringing their safeties down in the box to defend against the Wes Welker hitch. Good strategy, especially considering that Randy Moss is about to be busy watching his daughter play basketball for the Florida Gators.

MINNESOTA (+13.5) over Green Bay – In Ponder we trust…to cover the spread.

Last Week: 5-9 (Season: 66-64) 

view from Qualcomm Stadium courtesy of @chargers