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At the Intersection of Sports and Culture

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Plodding Through the Previews: Cars 2

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Some folks boast a photographic memory while others claim to count cards. Me, I have a strange telekinetic ability to predict the plot of a movie based solely on the coming attraction. I will channel these talents every week in an effort to breakdown the latest summer blockbuster. With a little luck, and patience, I’ll also connect the movie to a current sports story however, this final pursuit may result in complete and abject failure.

Cars 2

The original Cars is in fact the only Pixar film which I have never seen. As we all know, Pixar movies resonate with adults just as much as kids. In fact, I’d be willing to bet that nearly half of Pixar’s entire feature film library – Up and Wall E to name a few – were explicitly made for adults. Which is probably why these movies makes so much money. Parents are just as excited to see the movie as their kids.

Yet somehow, Cars has eluded me, like my white whale. Maybe my son will grow to be a huge NASCAR fan and we will develop a mutual love and respect for the original imovie. For now at least, I know very little about the premise of the first Cars other than it was Paul Newman’s last major role before his death in 2008.

A Second by Second Breakdown

:25 – Larry the Cable Guy is back! Has he done anything significant since the first Cars? Does he still do the “you know you’re a redneck when” bit or I am thinking of Jeff Foxworthy?

:52 – My absolute favorite part of previews for animated movies, trying to guess the voices. The Italian sports car sure does sound an awful lot like either John Turturro or Luciano Pavarotti.

:58 – No guessing on this one. That is the unmistakable voice of Michael Caine clearly on loan from the set of the latest Batman film. Wouldn’t it be awesome if movies worked liked professional soccer where actors could be loaned out by bigger films to smaller projects for a fee. Speaking of The Dark Knight Rises, when can we expect a preview?

1:01 – Sarah Ferguson Duchess of York? Can someone please explain to me why she is still making the morning show rounds? I swear she has been on the Today show at least 3 times a week for the past 20 years. (Note: I don’t really think this character is voiced by Fergie. At least I don’t after my wife corrected me.)

1:13 – Well this has become totally unrealistic. Brent Mustberger doesn’t have the time to announce a grand prix race. Not with the Little League World Series on the horizon.

1:36 – Who’s the main star of this film: Owen Wilson or Larry the Cable Guy? Judging from this preview it seems as if LtCG is the main draw. But why? I thought attendance at NASCAR events was way down this year.

1:52 – I can’t believe we’re nearly two minutes into a Cars preview and “Life is a Highway” by Rascal Flatts has yet to be prominently featured. This has to be a first. I hope somewhere Tom Cochrane is smiling.

The Plod

Lightning McQueen is a world famous racing car about to take on the best of the best in the biggest grand prix race of the year. It is soon revealed that McQueen is being targeted by an evil international consortium. Michael Cain and Sarah Ferguson believe Larry the Cable Guy is behind the plan to sabotage the big race. Owen Wilson and LtCG have a melodramatic falling out before the big race. Eventually, Larry the Cable Guy is absolved of any wrong doing and returns to save the day, and race, for his good old friend Owen Wilson. Lightning McQueen wins the race, falls for the Duchess of York, and LtCG becomes an honorary member of the British Secret Service.

Cars 2 as it relates to a Major Sports Story

I’ll go with Jack McKeon returning to manage the Florida Marlins at the ripe old age of 80. His first order of business, bench Hanley Ramirez for being late. I love old people, they just don’t care what anyone else thinks. How, you ask, does this all relate to the Cars 2 preview? Easy, Larry the Cable Guy was forced out of Lightning McQueen’s inner circle much like Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria forced McKeon to retire as manager in 2005. Now, as the big race approaches, both McQueen and Loria have regained their senses and rehired their most trusted confidants.

Easy. Right?

view from Sun Life Stadium courtesy of @joecapmarlins



Monday Morning Musings: Morning after McIlroy Edition

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There was very little science to watching Rory McIlroy dominate the 111th U.S. Open. With every twirl of the club, viewers at home knew the shot was pure. He took control of the tournament on Thursday and didn’t bother to look back. The most impressive aspect of McIlroy’s performance was how effortless he made everything look. Perhaps this will all change with age but for right now at least, he does not look like a golfer consumed by the “process”.

Other golfers, like Tiger Woods, are consumed by their “swing plane” and “hip rotation” that they stop trusting their instincts. Rory is blessed with so much natural ability that he can just see it, hit it and and believe in the results. In this the day and age of the swing coach, it’s refreshing to watch a golfer believing in himself like McIlroy did at the U.S. Open. Perhaps a lesson to all aspiring major champions.

A Quick Trip Around the Bases

1B – Injuries. Injuries. Injuries. First Carl Crawford. Then Clay Buchholz. And now Albert Pujols. I’m sure the Red Sox can survive for a short while without the services of Crawford and Buchholz but what in the wide wide world of sports are the Cardinals supposed to do without King Albert if his sprained wrist keeps him on the sidelines for any extended period of time? I’m sure manager Tony La Russa will come up with something “inventive” like perhaps batting the pitcher 3rd or playing with two first basemen.

2B – I would feel much worse for the Florida Marlins and their fans if they actually had any fans. How dysfunctional is a team when their manager, Edwin Rodriguez, resigns after 71 games? Los Fish are losers of 10 in a row and have know slipped to last place in the NL East while their owner, Jeffrey Loria sounds about as fun to work for as Bill Lundberg. And now, the Marlins are poised to hire 80 year old Jack McKeon as interim manager to finish out the season. Question is, why would McKeon be interested in the job? At his advanced age he ought to more concerned with counting the lumps in his oatmeal than thinking about filling out a lineup card.

3B – Interleague play continues Monday with several marquee matchups including the Baltimore Orioles visiting the Pittsburgh Pirates. Well, maybe not this particular series, unless we were somehow miraculously transported back to the mid ’70s, but there are several other intriguing pairings this week like Rays/Brewers and Twins/Giants. I for one can do without Rockies/Indians, Angels/Marlins, A’s/Mets, and Astros/Rangers. Price you pay for interleague play.

HR – Justin Verlander really is a throwback to the days where there were no bullpen specialists to speak of and starting pitchers were expected to go deep, if not finish ballgames. Including yesterday, Verlander has thrown 4 complete games this year, matching his total for the entire 2010 season. Pretty impressive stuff for a guy who is still bringing triple digits in the 9th inning.

Fielder’s Choice – And lastly, in regards to the season 1 finale of The Killing on AMC, what the heck was that? After last night it feels like I wasted 13 hours of my life on this show. Following the web this morning, it’s clear that I am not the only one who felt betrayed by the season finale. Who killed Rosie Larson? As of this morning we don’t know and frankly, don’t care.

view from atop the St. Louis Gateway Arch courtesy of @mattwettersten

Teeing it up on Father’s Day

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A Happy Father’s Day to all you dads out there. And a special thanks to my dad for picking me up when I fall down, and for kicking me in the pants whenever I need to be reminded of how lucky we are.

I can’t think of a better way to spend my first Father’s Day as dad than by watching the final round of the U.S. Open live from Congressional. And what a day it should be. With Rory McIlroy holding a commanding 8 stroke lead heading into Sunday, today will hopefully mark the coronation of one of golf’s finest young players.

I hope El Tigre is sitting back, watching this U.S. Open from his massive estate in Jupiter, FL, just biding his time until he’s healthy once again and ready to take on Rory. Because that’s ultimately golf’s biggest story should McIlroy pull through today and win his first career major. Can Tiger return to his old form and challenge the young gun for title of world’s best? I look forward to a least 5 solid years of McIlroy/Woods battling down the home stretch of the majors.

It is going to be tough to pick a favorite between these two once in a generation talents. But, until Tiger is healthy, smart money remains on the precocious talent from Northern Ireland.

view from Congressional courtesy of @wingoz

Balk Walk-Off or a Walk-Off Balk

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Just when you think the New York Mets are about to cross over the .500 mark, and in the process sweep a three game series with the Atlanta Braves, D.J. Carrasco balks in the walk off run in the 10th inning. To be fair to Carrasco, it was a poor play by 1st baseman Lucas Duda that allowed the Atlanta runner to move up to 3rd base thus leading to a run scoring on the balk. Even still, balks are fairly uncommon in MLB, but a balk to end the game? I can’t remember seeing that before.

Heartbreaking loss for the Mets who continue to rise above uncommonly low expectations and play some surprisingly scrappy baseball. But what to do about Jose Reyes? As Buster Olney tweets, the Mets SS is on pace for a remarkable statistical season and will likely command Carl Crawford money, in excess of $140 million over 7 years, this offseason. Can the Mets really afford NOT to resign Jose Reyes? If you don’t resign Reyes you are sending the message to your fans that you aren’t willing to spend the money necessary to compete and this will hurt a franchise already dealing with attendance issues at Citi Field.

Trade Beltran. Trade KRod. Do everything you can to resign Jose Reyes – unless he pulls another hamstring between now and the end of the season.

view from Turner Field courtesy of @cdryan

Escape from Vancouver

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Where’s Snake Plissken when you need him? Vancouver, if winning the Stanley Cup meant that much to you, why don’t you just go ahead and take it? Otherwise, can you tell us how many more days of burning and looting we will experience before normalcy can return to the streets of British Columbia. Where was this passion during the Winter Olympics? I can only imagine the destruction that would have occurred if Canada hadn’t won curling gold in 2010.

I would also be very interested to hear what the rest of Canada’s thinks about these latest riots in Vancouver. My completely uniformed sense is that the other provinces dismiss the behavior as a typical Vancouver reaction, see 1994, and certainly behavior not indicative of all Canadian sports fans. Although, don’t be so quick to judge Toronto. If your Maple Leafs ever made it, and then lost the Stanley Cup in 7, I’m sure your reaction would be a little “salty” too.

Speaking of Game 7, last night felt like a huge letdown. Granted, I don’t root for the Boston Bruins, nor do I proclaim to be an sort of hockey connosiour, but still, the whole game felt a little anti-climactic. Probably because expectations were so high heading into the game. I can’t remember a single hockey game generating this much buzz, of course I barely remember the Rangers winning in ’94 and was just a wee little infant for the Miracle on Ice. Yesterday afternoon, a good friend of mine refused a twilight round of golf just so he wouldn’t miss the drop of the puck. You just don’t turn down those types of opportunities unless something really important – like your wedding or birth of a first child – pops up.

About the game, the Canucks looked tired from the start and the Bruins used their energy to attack Roberto Luongo. Tim Thomas was unbelievable in goal for Boston all series long and definitely deserving of the Conn Smythe. What happened to the Sedin twins and Ryan Kesler? I was under the impression that the Bruins defense couldn’t match the skill level of these three Vancouver stars. Credit to defenseman like Chara and Seidenberg for shutting down what was supposed to be a very potent Canuck offense. And how about Brad Marchand? Pretty impressive performance for 23 year old rookie.

I feel for the Bruins a little because now, with what went happened on the streets of Vancouver after the game, the Stanley Cup returning to Boston for the first time in 39 years has already become “after the jump” news.

Enjoy the parade Boston, and remember, burning police cars isn’t a healthy way of showing how much your Bruins mean to you.

view from the Canucks Riot courtesy of @KIRO7Seattle