View My Seats

At the Intersection of Sports and Culture

Photo Credit for Header: Alex Foucre-Stimes

View from Spring Training: 2011 Houston Astros

by

2011 Houston Astros

NFL Equivalent – Seattle Seahawks: Always a bridesmaid, but never quite a bride. The Seahawks reached the Super Bowl in 2006, only to fall to the Steelers, while the Astros lost to the White Sox in the World Series the year before.  Both teams were constantly in the mix throughout this past decade, while both now seem miles away from championship hopes.  Both the ‘Hawks and the ‘Stros have recently sent the faces of their respective franchises packing, and are relying on much younger, more anonymous casts going forward.  So the question remains, is there a “Beast Mode” moment waiting for these Astros in October?

Google Search: Drayton McLain, as he has been known to do in the past—like a true Texas gambler—is choosing to play the hand that he was dealt.  The Astros have brought in 2B Bill Hall and SS Clint Barmes, but will choose to fill out their roster with a couple of aging prospects in C J.R. Towles and 1B Brett Wallace.  It might be the end of the line for these two in Houston, if their Spring numbers are any indication. All this and presumptive 2011 team MVP outfielder Hunter Pence is considered to be the worst team MVP in MLB by Baseball Prospectus. Talk about a backhanded compliment.

Famous Movie Quote: Listen, here’s the thing. If you can’t spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker – Mike McDermott from Rounders

Here’s some feedback, Mr. McLain: fold, then run.  The Killer B’s are not walking through that door, and after having FINALLY moved INF/OF Lance Berkman and P Roy Oswalt last season, the last vestiges of the Astros’ heyday have faded into that big Texas sky alongside Davy Crockett, Sam Houston, and J.R. Ewing.  Houston has a productive starting outfield with the powerful Carlos Lee, the speedy Michael Bourne, and the gutty Hunter Pence, but they’ll only go as far as their starting pitching staff will take them. Brett Myers, Wandy Rodriguez, and J.A. Happ will all have to have career years just to keep the Astros relevant at the All-Star break. 2011 record: 71 – 91; 5th Place NL Central

view from Space Coast Stadium courtesy of @actionsports360

View From Spring Training: 2011 Chicago Cubs

by

2011 Chicago Cubs

NFL Equivalent – Dallas Cowboys: How can two high profile teams in major markets spend so much and produce so little? Mismanagement, that’s how. The Cubs and Cowboys have suffered of late from some gross mismanagement both on the field and in the front office. Carlos Zambrano use to be an effective starting pitcher until he took to fighting his teammates and the water cooler. And the Cowboys? Remember when the 2010 Cowboys team quit on their coach midseason? It’s also a problem when your owner, Jerry Jones, is the most recognizable face, albeit a reconstructed one at that, in the entire organization. America’s Team no more.

Google Search: I’m not high on Matt Garza. Sure he’s been a bit of a Sox killer down in Florida, but I am not convinced he is an Ace, or really has the makeup to be one. I think the Carlos Pena pick up will be nice for the Cubs, but there are still so many questions. Soriano is getting old in left and Highway to the Fukudome has been a perennial disappointment. The corners of the infield are secure with Ramirez and now Pena, but who are these guys up the middle? Castro and DeWitt are supposed to be major league starters? They are backups at best. If this were any other fan base I would say that Northsiders will turn on this 2011 team midseason. However, when the brightest attraction at the ballpark is getting hosed down in the bleachers by Ryan Dempster, we’re not exactly talking about fans with the highest of expectations.

Famous Movie Quote: Come on Cohaagen! You got what you want. Give those people air! – Douglas Quaid from Total Recall

Quade: Quaid. Close enough. And although Cubs manager Mike Quade bears no relation to Totall Recall protagonist Douglas Quaid, I figured any chance to run some kind of Schwarzenegger quote just go with it. And if you think about, the Cubs have been suffocating their fans since 1908. New Cubs manager Mike Quade could end up wishing this season were actually a dream created by a corporate biotechnological company selling drug induced fantasies about mars. Sure, they’ll beat up on the Pirates and the Astros, but after a while even that isn’t any fun anymore. On another note, in Total Recall, remember how gross Kuato was… . 2011 Record: 80-82, 4th AL Central

view from HoHoKam Stadium courtesy of @crlamberth94

View from Spring Training 2011: Cleveland Indians

by

2011 Cleveland Indians

NFL Equivalent – Cleveland Browns: If it all possible, we wanted to avoid comparing teams from the same city. However, in this case, it’s just too easy. Oh Cleveland. You know what, I’m sorry. It’s not pity, it’s just simple compassion for a fan base that has been raked over the professional sports coals over and over again. King James, Art Modell, The Drive, Edgar Renteria: the list of sports heartbreaks goes on and on. Poor Cleveland. Indians, Browns, there is no joy in Mudville but hey, at least you have the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame and this sweet tourism video.

Google Search: Where did Shin-Soo Choo come from? Sure when he arrived in the majors he showed some promise but I don’t think anyone, except maybe the Cleveland brass, expected him to be this good. It almost takes away the sting of two disappointing seasons by Grady Sizemore, almost. Doesn’t it seem like just yesterday that the Indians were being helped to an ALDS win by a swarm of midges? Alas, four years later and the Indians don’t appear to be anywhere close to making the playoffs. Regrettably, it may be the end of this decade before the Indians have enough talent to make any kind of real run.

Famous Movie Quote: So an eerie start for the Erie warriors as they drop a heartbreaker to the Yankees 9-0. The post game show is brought to you by… Christ I can’t find it, to hell with it! – Harry Doyle from Major League

I couldn’t have quoted any other especially considering that Charlie Sheen has recently pledged to finance and star in Major League 3: Ricky Vaughn and the Goddesses. Sadly the 2011 Indians will resemble Lou Brown’s team from the beginning of the film more than the end. It is going to be a bumpy road. Manny Acta could try stripping a piece of clothing off a cutout of Gloria James after every win, but even that might not be enough. 2011 Record: 72-90, 4th AL Central

view from Salt River Fields courtesy of @SDarkwingDuck

View From Spring Training: 2011 Washington Nationals

by

2011 Washington Nationals

NFL Equivalent – Denver Broncos: Both teams are young, trying to piece together cohesive units as players grow into themselves. Both took chances on highly touted young prospects, QB Tim Tebow for the Broncos and P Stephen Strasburg for the Nationals.  Each of these precocious talents have messiah like followings due to prodigious amateur careers. Washington is trying hard to make moves to become contenders immediately, while Denver is hoping to reclaim past glory by hiring Bronco legend John Elway as their VP of football operations.

Google Search: Everyone expected Jayson Werth to land in the AL East with either the Yankees or Red Sox, but the Nationals pulled the trigger, throwing bills around like Alexander Ovechkin at a Russian McDonalds. Werth joins enigmatic speedster Nyjer Morgan in the outfield. Don’t be surprised if upstart phenom Bryce Harper, of SI fame, doesn’t get some at-bats in the big leagues later this summer. Perhaps the brightest spot on the team is the starting rotation, featuring returning starters Stephen Strasburg and the highly underrated Jordan Zimmerman, although Strasburg with begin the season in extended spring training while he recovers from Tommy John surgery.

Famous Movie Quote: Striker, listen, and you listen close: flying a plane is no different than riding a bicycle, just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes. – Rex Kramer from Airplane!

I picked this quote from the 1980 Zucker Brothers classic Airplane! because the Nationals have the potential to avert total disaster this season and post a reasonable record. Hopefully they will approach the season with simplicity, avoiding the complications of media and distractions that many other teams face (like say, building mansions). Ryan Zimmerman, a quiet but focused player, may be the Striker to crash land their 2011 plane. Also, I am writing this blog post on a plane back to Boston from San Francisco, so perhaps I have flying on the brain. 2011 record: 74-88, 5th place NL East

view from Steinbrenner Field courtesy of @MouradB

A View from Spring Training: 2011 Kansas City Royals

by

2011 Kansas City Royals

2010 NFL Equivalent – Buffalo Bills: Passionate fan bases, small markets, and recent traditions filled with failures. These are the ties that bind. Each city also boasts a unique tailgating delicacy; Buffalo has the wing and Kansas City the BBQ. In recent years, the Bills have played a “home” game in Toronto. The Royal equivalent would be moving games out of Kauffman Stadium and into Cedar Rapids. (Side note: at what point does Ed Helms branch out and take on a new character? In Cedar Rapids, is he supposed to be playing Andy Bernard on a sales call to middle America?) Lastly, I have a few friends who remain die hard Bills fans while I have yet to meet one single person, outside of Rob Riggle, who still roots for the Royals. (Note: the only reason I went with Riggle here was so I could link to a video from the Catalina Wine Mixer. POW!!)

Google Search: The turnstiles at Kauffman Stadium were spinning this winter as the Kansas City front office gave the roster a thorough face lift. Some highlights include CF Melky Cabrera, RF Jeff Francoeur, and SP Jeff Francis.  If Cabrera is in shape, and that’s a big “if”, he is a serviceable major league outfielder while Francoeur boasts a rocket/laser arm and a complete inability to draw walks. Allegedly, the Royals have a very strong farm system and Ken Rosenthal went as far as to call them the “Rays Redux”. Rosenthal could be referring specifically to prospect outfielder Lorenzo Cain, who will push Cabrera for the starting CF job.  Going out on a limb, even if Cain doesn’t start on Opening Day, it sounds like the job will be his full-time by June.

Famous Movie Quote: Well, what if there is no tomorrow?  There wasn’t one today. – Phil Connors, Groundhog Day.

Royals fans have been through this before, unfortunately.  Rebuilding, retooling, refueling.  Whatever.  Alex Gordon was such a “Can’t Miss Prospect” at 3B that he has been moved to the outfield.  In a league where it seems that every team can hit, the Royals are woefully anemic on the mound.  Besides Francis and Kyle Davies, the rest of their starting staff will have to be cobbled together.  The Royals’ two best players from ’10—Zack Greinke and David DeJesus— are both gone.  This year, their best player is a closer, Joaquim Soria (formerly “The Mexecutioner”; no longer), who may only have the chance to close 2 games a week which means the Royals will most likely end up coin surfing in the cushions of the AL Central couch again this year. 2011 record: 66 – 96; 5th Place AL Central

view from Tempe Diablo Stadium courtesy of @HoltzyKC