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At the Intersection of Sports and Culture

Photo Credit for Header: Alex Foucre-Stimes

Cormac McCarthy Once Wrote About U.S. Cellular Field

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The answer to the question is 9.13. That was Minnesota Twins pitcher Francisco Liriano’s earned run average heading into last night’s game against the Chicago White Sox. Oh, and just in case you haven’t heard yet, Francisco Liriano, he of the 9.13 ERA, threw a no hitter last night, first no hitter thrown in the big leagues this season. As John Sterling would say “I mean Suzyn it truly is an amazing game”.

I caught the final half inning of the game and here are my two major takeaways: 1) When it’s cold, and the White Sox are bad, U.S. Cellular Field looks like a place out of a Cormac McCarthy novel. Needless to say I would not have wanted be in that Dodge Caravan heading back to Gary, Indiana.

2) Is it just me or did the Twins post no hitter celebration seem somewhat forced? It had a bizarre Al kissing Tipper feel to it. Perhaps Liriano is not the most popular player on the Twins. Or maybe the team was just too cold and wanted to get back inside to the clubhouse. Whatever the case may be, I was expecting something a little bit more like this.

view from U.S. Cellular Field courtesy of @newtonslawpc

A Reason to Sing Along

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“I’ve never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure.” – Mark Twain

It wasn’t as emotional as Whitney Houston’s. It wasn’t as spontaneous as this one in Edmonton. But Jim Cornelison version of the Star Spangled Banner last night before the start of the series opener between the Chicago Bulls and the Atlanta Hawks was still a transcendent moment for American sports fans.

The death of Osama bin Laden marks an important moment in history where Americans can reflect, bring some closure to the events of 9/11 and the now nearly decade long war on terror. Although the threat still exists, as do the scars, Americans can take comfort knowing that our armed forces continue to serve courageously and with incredible honor.

Life is a series a measurable quantities. Peace > War. Good > Evil. Love > Hate. Let’s keep it simple, the rest will fall into place.

view from the United Center courtesy of @silvia_delgado

Monday Morning Musings

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Not a good month to be a member of the 1986 World Series Champion New York Mets. First, it’s revealed that Lenny Dykstra had a penchant for interviewing maids in the buff and now it seems that Atlanta Braves pitching coach, and former Met reliever, Roger McDowell has a few issues of his own to sort through. McDowell just received a two week suspension from MLB for what has been described as lewd and lascivious gestures/language directed towards fans in San Francisco two weekends ago. Personally, I think he got off lightly. Shows you what a little remorse can buy you.

Moving forward, McDowell is going to have a very difficult time earning back the respect of baseball fans around the country. April attendance is down again this season and the last thing MLB needs is to have their pitching coaches treating fungo bats as if they were some sort of “apparatus”. (Go ahead and watch the video where renowned attorney Gloria Allred “simulates” what McDowell allegedly did with that now infamous instrument.)

A Quick Trip Around the Bases

1B – On Sunday, Andre Either extended his hitting streak to 27 games. Quite an impressive feat for an outfielder who is so good looking that he even puts the immortal Derek Zoolander to shame.

2B – Is it really true that the Cleveland Indians have won 6 games in a row, 13 straight at home on the Cuyahoga River? I’m sorry, but who are these F’n guys? Also, it’s May 2nd and both the Chicago White Sox and the Minnesota Twins area already 10 games back in the AL Central. Time to panic as if the Metrodome was about to collapse….again.

3B – Jered Weaver had a chance to go 7-0 in the month of April. That was until he came down with a bad case of the sniffles. Honestly, this Weaver April dominance thing completely snuck up on me. Every time I read that last name I think about his older brother Jeff who I can’t remember winning 7 games in a season, let alone in a row to start a new year.

HR – I know it’s only been a month but I am already perturbed by Bobby Valentine on Sunday Night Baseball.  I don’t know what it is exactly but there is something about him that strikes me as insincere. And Orel Hershiser? Way too rational a thinker for me. Bring back Joe Morgan!!! (On second thought….I’ll give the new crew a little more time before passing final judgment.)

view from Progressive Field courtesy of @MLupole

Just in Case the Whole NFL Career Thing Doesn’t Work Out

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Should the lockout continue into the regular season, here are a few alternative careers for each of the top ten picks in the 2011 NFL Draft

1. Carolina Panthers – Cam Newton, QB Auburn

NCAA Compliance Officer; Indianapolis, Indiana – So he can right all the wrongs the next time a father asks for 250K to rebuild a church.

2. Denver Broncos – Von Miller, LB Texas A&M

Optometrist; Dallas, Texas – So he can finally put an end to all the Marcus Dupree comparisons.

3. Buffalo Bills – Marcel Dareus, DT Alabama

Venture Capitalist; Toronto, Ontario – Because everything in Buffalo is eventually moving to Toronto anyway.

4. Cincinnati Bengals – A.J. Green, WR Georgia

Reality TV Star; Cincinnati, Ohio – Because Terrell Owens probably isn’t coming back to Cincy and Ochocinco has to be looking for a new wing man/carnival barker.

5. Arizona Cardinals – Patrick Peterson, CB LSU

Athletic Director; Shreveport, Louisiana –  It does say on the LSU website that he majored in “Sports Administration”.

6. Atlanta Falcons – Julio Jones, WR Alabama

Stunt Double; Hollywood – Just recently hired as a stand in for the upcoming Predator sequel.

7. San Francisco 49ers – Aldon Smith, DE Missouri

Grocery Store Manager; Provo, Utah – Oh sorry, I confused Aldon for Alex Smith.

8. Tennessee Titans – Jake Locker, QB Washington

Minor league baseball player; Rancho Cucamonga Quakes – Because accuracy issues are much easier to iron out in the Pacific Coast League.

9. Dallas Cowboys – Tyron Smith, OT USC

Golf Caddy; Kohler, Wisconsin – For the next time Tony Romo tries to qualify for the US Open..

10. Jacksonville Jaguars – Blaine Gabbert, QB Missouri

NHL Analyst on Versus – He really does look just like Jeremy Roenick.

view from Radio City courtesy of @1PrettyNupe

Michael Scott Will Not be Watching the NFL Draft

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Belated congratulations to Garry Neal and the San Antonio Spurs for staving playoff elimination off for at least one more game. My only concern, why wasn’t that play at the end of regulation drawn up for Matt Bonner? Bonner = Playoff Assassin.

Tonight is all about the 2011 NFL Draft. I have nothing funny or prophetic to say about the NFL Draft. My current disinterest is the direct result of the current lockout/labor uncertainty. Why should I care about this draft when there may not even be a 2011 season?*

*I still maintain that owners/players will come to their collective senses before forcing the cancellation of any regular season games. Too much money at stake, even for the detached ego’s of American’s top .01%.

Will Cam Newton go first to the Carolina Panthers? Does Ryan Mallet’s alleged addiction(s) cost him a shot at the first round? Will Belichick and the Patriots trade out of the early rounds once again only to amass future first round picks which they will also never use? Will Roger Goodell be booed like Charlie Sheen on a comedy tour?

Answers to these questions and many more do not really concern me tonight, not when I have to go to sleep super early in order to wake up in time, and well rested, for the Royal Wedding.

view from the AT&T Center courtesy of @thesports007