Matt Wieters’ RBI single in the 13th carried Baltimore past the Seattle Mariners by a final score of 7-6. If only Billy Zane, or any Orioles fans for that matter, were there to see it.
While You Were Sleeping
What a big night for Maryland Terrapin basketball! First the university hires Mark Turgeon to replace Gary Williams and then Greivis Vasquez, he of recent Turtle fame, buries a three as time expires to send the Grizzlies into a second overtime against the Thunder. OKC would eventually outlast Memphis in 3 overtimes by a final score of 133-123 but by all accounts this was playoff basketball at its best.
Got to hand it to the Memphis crowd who braved the rising waters of the mighty Mississippi River to come out and support their Grizz. I made it as far as the 2nd quarter before falling off into dreamland.
Before you scold me for my lack of dedication to playoff basketball just understand that when you have a 3 month old, you take your sleep wherever you can find it. If it comes at the expense of Grizz/Thunder, so be it.
I’ll do my best to watch Game 5 on Wednesday, that is unless the game starts after 9pm and in that case all bets are off.
Monday Morning Musings
There is this one house on my running route that has been uninhabited/up for sale for quite some time yet the owners/real estate agents haven’t canceled their New York Times subscription. Since the Times has recently gone pay for access, a copy of the Sunday edition has turned into a very valuable commodity. Consequently, I am left with a moral conundrum: to steal or not to steal a copy of the New York Times.
Understand that I haven’t stolen anything since I was 7 years old and I swiped a tootsie pop from my next door neighbor. At the time I was so guilt ridden that I returned the half eaten lollipop to my neighbors kitchen and vowed never to steal again. But isn’t a free copy of the Sunday Times too good to pass up? I wouldn’t even be contemplating this idea if I thought anyone was actually going to read these copies because as it stands now there are a weeks worth of papers stacked up in the abandoned driveway. For the sake of neighborhood resale values, and pretentious intellectuals worldwide, don’t I have a moral obligation to keep our streets clean?
A Quick Trip Around the Bases
1B – Do the Florida Marlins really figure that a new stadium, and name – Miami, will help resolve their attendance issues? As a Baltimore Orioles fan I am probably not the person to talk about empty seats in stadiums but it’s clear from the attached view that nobody is going to these Marlins games in Sun Life Stadium. Granted they were playing the Nationals but still, there must have been only 3K in attendance to see Anibal Sanchez carry a no-hitter into the 7th inning.
2B – Speaking of no-hitters, first Francisco Liriano on Tuesday and then Justin Verlander Saturday. For Verlander this was no no number 2 and many are now speculating that he has the stuff to potentially match Sandy Koufax for second place on the career no-hitter list with 4. (Nobody is going to catch up to Nolan Ryan’s astounding 7 no-hitters.)
3B – Derek Jeter busted out of his season long slump on Sunday going 4 for 6 with 2 HR’s in the Yankees 12-5 win over the Texas Rangers. It’s just one game but judging from New York sports talk radio this morning, all is forgiven between Jeter and the Yankees fans who for weeks were calling for manager Joe Girardi to either drop him down to 8 or 9 in the order or have him banished to the island of Elba. Now after yesterday’s performance, Jeter gets to stay in the leadoff spot for at least one more game and Mike Francesa has the creative license to talk exclusively about two things this afternoon: the Jeter “resurgence” and the incredibly uninspiring Kentucky Derby. If you want to talk about the Mets are anything else having to do with New York sports you can all but forget about it. Tunnel vision. 6 Diet Cokes deep and I say Mike is still going on about Uncle Mo and the owner who invented Vitamin Water.
HR – And while we’re on the subject of hitting streaks, Andre Either had his come to a smashing halt at 30 games this Saturday..by the Mets. The Mets may finish last in the NL East but at least they can say they ended the longest hitting streak of the season to date. Of course, this is probably not much solace for a franchise on the verge of trading their 2 most productive players, Reyes and Beltran, while rumors continue to circulate that the team is up for sale. It’s enough to tire out even the most ardent Mets supporters like say Keith Hernandez.
A New Mom Dispenses Kentucky Derby Gambling Advice
The extent of my Kentucky Derby gambling was a $20 bet on Monarchos to win in 2001. The rest is history and I turned my modest winnings into an end of the semester keg party complete with Natural Light and copious amounts of Cool Ranch Doritos. (Ahhh, the simple things of college.) I haven’t bet on horse racing since and now that I’m married, with a 3 month old son, I no longer have the time or resources to warrant a wager on Saturday’s 137 running of the Kentucky Derby.
For this post, I have enlisted the help of my lovely wife, who, if possible, knows even less about horse racing than I do.
Note to gamblers: my wife is basing her decisions solely on how the names of these horses connect to important moments in motherhood.
5. Stay Thirsty, 20-1: “The other night, I asked Jon to get me a bottle of water from the kitchen and he proceeded to drink half of it before returning to the bedroom. I don’t think he understands how hard it is to be the sole provider of a 3 month old child. My body constantly feels like it is under siege. Think Lindsay Lohan without the addictions and ongoing legal trouble.”
4. Mucho Macho Man, 12-1: “Mucho Macho Man is such a catchy name that I have added it to my arsenal of silly, rambling nursery rhymes that I sing to our son. When you have a 3 month old, there are moments during the day when your sole objective is to prevent that child from bursting into tears. If he likes the sound of Mucho Macho Man set to the tune of Zac Brown Band’s Chicken Fried, then I’ll go with it.
Show. Uncle Mo, 9-2: “This is for Jon and his stupid love affair with Mike Francesa. I don’t know what the connection between Francesa and Uncle Mo is but Big Mike seems to be fielding a ton of phone calls on this one horse. Maybe Bruce from Bayside knows something. (Editor’s Note: Uncle Mo is now out of the Kentucky Derby. Bruce from Bayside is forever dead to my wife.)
Place. Watch Me Go, 50-1: “I always thought it was disturbing and inappropriate when a group of mothers would openly discuss the bowel movements of their children. Now that I’m a mom, all I want to do when I get together with my girlfriends is talk about bowel movements. Predictable I know, but misery loves company and there are very few things right now as satisfying as comparing the colors of dirty diapers like they were some sort of wallpaper swatch.
Win. Midnight Interlude, 10-1: “My entire existence is one big, long midnight interlude followed by another one at 2:30am and then one more at 4:30am. I have completely forgotten what it means to sleep through the night. Sometimes, I wake Jon up just so he can suffer through the moment with me which I understand is devious and manipulative but when you’re the mother of a 3 month old, logic no longer enters into the decision making process.”
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There you have it. Enjoy the Derby and a Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there, including my wife!
If You’re Happy and You Know It Clap Your Hands
Spoiler Alert!!!! I’m about to go all old man rant on you. Continue reading if you have ever sat on a porch just waiting for a chance to yell at the neighborhood kids to keep their voices down while you finish your Sudoku.
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You know what really is starting to grind my gears about these NBA playoffs? The incessant hand slapping after free throws. Not only is it a time consuming proposition but it also seems to occur irregardless of whether or not the shot goes in. Last night after Joakim Noah shot a free throw he immediately received a cavalcade of congratulatory handshakes from teammates like Carlos Boozer and Luol Deng. I’m pretty sure one of the referees got in there for a butt slap as well. The way people were celebrating it was as if Joakim was running for public office.
And here’s the kicker, Noah missed that free throw by a good 10 inches. Sooooo, what are you celebrating exactly? I don’t mean to make this just about the Chicago Bulls because free throw hand slapping is everywhere in these playoffs and pretty soon it’s going to force me to watch something else like – gulp – the NHL Playoffs. (If only I could find Versus….)
E.K.G.A.T. Every Kid Gets A Trophy. E.K.G.A.T. It’s 50% of what’s wrong with organized sports and athletes in America today. (The other 50% are the parents who live vicariously through their kids. To steal a phrase from Charles Barkley, those folks are “turrible”.) The idea that young athletes are told how great they are, regardless of performance, rewards mediocrity and builds a damaging false sense of entitlement. Consequently we are developing a nation of young people who are unable to cope with stress or manage failure and who also grow up expecting instant gratification for simply doing their job. I see it every day in the workplace where more and more recent college graduates simply cannot function unless their performance is constantly being validated.
We must get back to learning to live with failure. Learning from mistakes, both physical and mental, is a crucial step in the development of personal and professional resiliency. If you’re looking to blame someone for the fragile mental state of our young athletes, blame Joakim Noah, he of the 10 second post free throw handshake routine.
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Enough old man ranting for today. Tomorrow I’ll be back to talk about cell phones and those darn pop musicians who wear their pants too low.
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