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At the Intersection of Sports and Culture

Photo Credit for Header: Alex Foucre-Stimes

Beware of Falling Ping Pong Balls

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I remember reading “The Lottery”, a short story by Shirley Jackson, in high school and thinking: “man, those small town folk sure do have a morbid way of maintaining a sustainable population”. For those unfamiliar with the story, the basic premise is that a small village draws straws to see who “wins” the opportunity to be stoned to death by their neighbors. The ritual was established as a mystical way of ensuring a bountiful harvest for the following year.* It’s the kind of haunting story you wish Alfred Hitchcock could have turned into a major motion picture starring Jimmy Stewart and Kim Novak.

*What’s wrong with a little sun and water you say? Fictional small town folk really do think up the craziest things.

How does Shirley Jackson’s tale compare to the NBA draft lottery held Tuesday night in the small village of Secaucus, NJ? It doesn’t. Not at all. In fact the only thing still decomposing in the Meadowlands are Jimmy Hoffa’s remains. Or perhaps David Kahn’s career as Minnesota Timberwolves general manager.

I’m happy that the Cleveland Cavaliers landed the #1 and #4 picks (Los Angeles Clippers what were you thinking?????). Maybe Kyrie Irving and some other frontline player – probably an unknown Euro 7 footer who is a cross between the next Dirk Nowitzki and Darko Milicic – will team up to help heal the city of Cleveland’s last remaining scars after Lebron’s “Decision”.

Overall, the NBA draft isn’t what it used to be because, in general, basketball players don’t stay in college long enough to build a little brand recognition with the average fan. Consequently, you have a bunch of kids entering the draft who very few people know or care about.

Of course, the NBA could switch things up a bit and model their lottery after the Shirley Jackson’s short story. Imagine a scenario where instead of receiving the 14th pick in the upcoming draft the last lottery team is relegated to the NBA Development League. Not to equate life in the D-League to being stoned to death by a group of innocent children but I think you get the point.

view from American Airlines Arena courtesy of @everyoneluvray

Dollar Night is a Done Deal

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Monday night was “Dollar Night” at Nationals Park where fans could purchase tickets to the Nationals/Pirates tilt for just a simple buck. Judging from this picture, the promotion was well received by the DC/Metro area.

Question is, until school’s out for the summer and the warmer weather rolls in, why not make every night dollar night in DC? Same goes for places like Pittsburgh, Florida, Tampa, and (gulp) Baltimore. Seems like a rather simple solution to these early season attendance issues. More people at the park means more concessions sold and also creates a much more attractive stadium environment for the players.

But what do I know, I’m just a fan.

view from Nationals Park courtesy of @primetimereds

Monday Morning Musings

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Older people can be so ornery when they have their routines broken. I have an uncle who had the same breakfast, oatmeal and coffee, for almost 30 years until one morning his son, my cousin, got up real early and ate what was left of my uncles oatmeal. That morning, my uncle had to settle for a poached egg and grapefruit and trust me when I tell you that he hasn’t been the same since.

When news broke on Saturday that Yankees DH Jorge Posada was refusing to play after being moved to the 9 spot in the lineup, I for one was not surprised. Posada’s like 40 years old and has probably gotten so use to the routine of hitting 4-8 in the lineup that he just did not know how to cope. Have you ever seen your grandmother wake up and not turn on the Today Show then immediately go outside to water the garden? That’s what I thought.  So no, I don’t blame Jorge at all for his “reasons”. Older people need their routines.

A Quick Trip Around the Bases

1B – So apparently Jose Bautista is for real. You would think that after his 2010 campaign, 54 HRs and 124 RBI, people wouldn’t be all that surprised by his early power surge in 2011. His 3 home runs Sunday against the unfortunately hapless Minnesota Twins now gives Bautista 16 on the year putting him on pace to eclipse his total from 2010. At this rate I’m not sure what’s going to be higher: Jose Bautista’s home run totals or number of times a blogger compares his career to that of Brady Anderson? For a columnist of Jon Heyman’s clout to essentially vouch for Jose, here’s hoping his clean and off the sauce.

2B – Lance Berkman continues to rake this season as if he were still in his Killer B prime back in Houston. My former summer league coach had also worked previously with Berkman in the Cape Cod League and this coach would always tell me that Berkman had the quickest hands he had ever seen. I once asked my coach to compare my hands to Berkman’s and his response, “Jon, at least you play the game the right way”. So I got that going for me, which is nice.

3B – On Sunday, the Braves and Phillies faced off against one another in Atlanta in what MLB called the “Civil Rights Game”. I’m all for honoring transcendant moments in American history just as long as it means that teams will wear their throwback uniforms. And what is it about throwback unis anyway? Not only are the primary colors jarring to the senses but the sizing of the jerseys and pants are way off as well. Players looked they had to borrow their parents uniforms yesterday almost like how we use to on the junior varsity.

HR – Speaking of the Braves, poor Chipper Jones has another knee injury, this time a torn meniscus. If he opts for surgery he could miss up to a month. I have a torn meniscus and cartilage in my right knee and a doctor told me to have it surgically repaired. When I asked about the downside to surgery he told me that I would have to deal with a lot of arthritis in that specific joint when I get older. So you got that to look forward to Chipper, which is nice.

view from Target Field courtesy of @tomyoung590

Al Czervik and the Players Championship

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Believe me, I’ve faked my fair share of injuries. Every summer, right around the time my wife and extended family are ready to take the boat out for a little water skiing, I develop a severe case of left knee “tendinitis” when  all I’m really trying to do is get out of an embarrassing situation.*

*For the record, I’m the world’s worst water skier. There is nothing in this world more aggravating, humbling than failing to get out of the water over and over and over again while your family rides along in the boat wondering how long they have to sit there before politely telling you to give up. Brings back scarring memories of my grandfather forcing me into the water and not letting me back on shore until I demonstrated some progress. I still have the facial ticks to prove it.

For the record, unlike many golf fans out there I do not believe Tiger Woods is faking his latest knee/achilles injury a la Al Czervik? I do however now question weather he’s going to be able to return to his pre Thanksgiving Day ’09 form. For now, I’ll just hope he can return to health by the US Open at Congressional. Makes things more interesting that way.

view from TPC Sawgrass courtesy of @TanLineClothing

Lil Jon Wants Miami to Fan Up

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All hail the wonderful world of twitter!!! Only there can we experience game 5 of Heat/Celtics through the eyes of Crunk Rock impresario Lil Jon.* My only question for Mr. Jon, as part of the “fan up” initiative in Miami, did an American Airlines Arena staffer force you to wear white or was it a personal choice? Either way, the same color t shirt gimmick has officially been played out. I can deal with the white “noise” at Heat games but the light blue/aqua in Oklahoma City is enough to burn a massive hole in my retina.

*Yes dad, believe it or not, crunk rock is an actual musical genre. At least that’s what Wikipedia told me.

Perhaps the best news for the finely aged Boston Celtics, and the worst for Lebron and his amazing 4th quarter performance, is that now the “Tiger Woods withdrawing after 9 holes at the Players Championship” story will dominate national headlines until the magnitude of his latest apparent injury is revealed. At this point, how many of us still believe Tiger will ever regain the form to challenge Jack Nicklaus’ record of 18 majors?

view from American Airlines Arena courtesy of @LilJon