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View My Picks: NFL Week 1

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Nothing gets me jazzed up quite like the start of another NFL season and the weekly picks post. As usual, it’s probably best if these picks are taken with a grain of salt for I’m dealing with a severe lack of insight and insider knowledge.

Week 1 (home team in CAPS)

New Orleans (+4) over GREEN BAY – This is a three point game either way. Also can’t remember a better Thursday night opener than this matchup between the last two Super Bowl champs. You think Lambeau Field is ready for this game? In honor of the opener, Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker has offered extended furloughs to all state employees. Oh wait, that’s NOT just because of the start of the NFL season? My bad.

Pittsburgh (+2.5) over BALTIMORE – What if I told you that the Ravens may not even finish second in their division? Or that David Garrard finishes the year as the Baltimore starting QB. And what if I told you that I just finished Season 2 of The Wire? I’m a little late to the party I understand, but I’m trying to catch up in a shallow attempt to regain some sort of street cred and also to help me understand what in the hell Jason Whitlock and Bill Simmons are talking about.

TAMPA BAY (-1.5) over Detroit – Just let your soul glow!!! (Yes, I know, I’ve used this Josh Freeman looks like Eriq La Salle from Coming to America before but when something works it works.)

Atlanta (-3) over CHICAGO – Some of you may remember that earlier this summer I made a pledge to not make fun of Jay Cutler and the “knee injury” that occurred during the NFC Championship game against the Packers. However, in the absence of anything really interesting to say about the Bears or this game, let me just point out that the Bears have in fact installed 4 new exercises bikes on the 40 yard line.

Buffalo (+5.5) over KANSAS CITY – I smell a revival for the Bills and the entire city of Buffalo. If Pittsburgh can turn itself into an affordable hipster alternative to Brooklyn/San Fran, what’s stopping Buffalo from emerging as the next trendy haunt? I’m also riding these sweet new Bills uniforms until the first Fitzpatrick interception returned for a touchdown.

Indianapolis (+8.5) over HOUSTON – Texas, we’ve had our differences before but if I could, I would bottle up all the rain we’re getting here in the northeast and ship it down to the parts of your state hardest hit by the ongoing drought/fires.

Philadelphia (-5) over ST. LOUIS – Lots of “pickers” smell an upset brewing in STL this weekend which is usually enough of a reason to stay away from this game completely.

Cincinnati (+6.5) over CLEVELAND – Upset special!!!! Upset special!!!! Bengals 17 Browns 14. Andy Dalton becomes the most popular red headed athlete in Cincinnati since Bobby Brannen.

Tennessee (+2) over JACKSONVILLE – Put me with the group of people who don’t think the Titans will be as bad as everyone else is saying. Also, do you really want to put your faith and money in the trusted right arm of Luke McCown?

NY Giants (-3) over WASHINGTON – I’m making Rex Grossman earn it for at least the first week.

ARIZONA (-7) over Carolina – Tough position for the rookie Cam Newton. He will however be starting his first career NFL game in the spot where he won the BCS National Championship with the Auburn Tigers last January.

Seattle (+5) over SAN FRANCISCO – Let the battle for Andrew Luck begin!

Minnesota (+8.5) over SAN DIEGO – Philip Rivers use to be my least favorite QB in the NFL but now that he’s on my fantasy football team, I feel like I should probably root for the guy to put up some big numbers. But don’t expect me to like it.

NEW YORK JETS (-4.5) over Dallas – At a neutral site this game is probably Jets (-2.5) but since this game will be played in the Meadowlands on the 10 anniversary of 9/11, (-7) for the team from New York feels about right.

New England (-7) over MIAMI – Usually this game is played under much more adverse conditions when the South Florida sun is blazing and the Patriots defense gives up a late TD. But 7pm Monday night is an ideal time for the high powered NE offense to kick into gear.

DENVER (-3) over Oakland – It’s not often that a 4th string QB has one of the highest selling jersey’s in the NFL.

view from Lambeau Field courtesy of twittaholic @darrenrovell

The Fishbowl Known as Arthur Ashe Stadium

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All of this rain is starting to make the northeast look and feel like an episode of The Killing, minus the circular storylines and uninspiring character development. We shouldn’t complain however because the poor folks of Bastrop, Texas would certainly appreciate some of this precipitation down in their corner of the country.

In any case, the weather is once again altering the schedule of several major sporting events, namely the US Open in Flushing Meadows, NY. Today, weather pending, will bring one of the healthiest, most robust schedules ever rolled out at a major tournament with every player remaining in the men’s and women’s draws taking the court. For instance, on Arthur Ashe Stadium today you have in order: Rafa, Djokovic, Serena, and Federer. Not too shabby for a dreary Wednesday in early September.

This particular view comes from my buddy Brownie who was in Ashe Monday for Williams/Ivanovic and Tsonga/Fish. Seeing as it was his first experience at the US Open, he was amazed at the size of the stadium, which he said felt more like an arena than tennis court. On this particular day, there was a line of fans standing around the highest row of seats in Ashe, hoping to catch a glimpse of the Djokovic/Dolgopolov match taking place in the adjacent Louis Armstrong Stadium. No word as to whether or not Brownie was one of those onlookers, but judging from this view, and the apparent lack of leg room in the upper bowls of the arena, I’m guessing he took any and every opportunity to get up and stretch the legs. It’s like sitting coach on a JetBlue flight from JFK to San Juan. Just beware of the beverage cart!!!

 

Just Another Typical, Run of the Mill NFL Preview: AFC East

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Champs: New England Patriots (11-5)* – All you haters need to back off the criticism of Tom Brady for being the face of UGG for men. First of all, have you seen those things? They look like a really comfortable pair of cowboy boots. They look like the type of footwear Clint Eastwood would have really appreciated while filming a Sergio Leone spaghetti western in the Apennine mountains. And remember, according to your grandfather, no one has nor ever will ooze the same kind of rugged manliness as Dirty Harry.

On Deck: New York Jets (10-6)* – I just have this strange feeling that the Jets offense is going to miss WR Braylon Edwards much more than they realize. Plaxico Burress is a nice, redemptive story but after nearly two years in the clink, who knows how much he can actually contribute on the field. Of even greater concern, placing Greg McElroy on IR means the Jets will now have to find a different backup to hold the third string quarterback clipboard. I have always wondered what they are writing down on those things anyway. Could just be a couple of reserves playing a game of “hangman” or maybe doing the crossword puzzle.

Limbo: Buffalo Bills (7-9) – Ryan Fitzpatrick is the best quarterback to come out of the Ivy League since Jay Fiedler. Speaking of the former Dartmouth College great, did you know that Fiedler was close childhood friends with former New York Knicks enforcer Anthony Mason? That would be like Fitzy and Buffalo WR Stevie Johnson attending the same preschool.

Chumps: Miami Dolphins (5-11) – There’s a chance, repeat chance, that the Dolphins are in postion to take Stanford QB Andrew Luck with the 1st pick in the 2012 draft. Of course that would have to mean that the 2011 season is a complete disaster for a team that only a few years ago was considered one of the favorites to win the AFC East. Oh how the average have fallen.

Fantasy Sleepers – Brandon Marshall (WR, Miami), Ryan Fitzpatrick (QB, Buffalo), BenJarvus Green-Ellis (RB, New England)

Ready for Primetime Games – 9/11: Dallas @ NY Jets, 9/12: New England @ Miami, 10/2: New York @ Baltimore, 10/17: Miami @ NY Jets, 11/13: New England @ NY Jets, 11/17: NY Jets @ Denver, 11/21: Kansas City @ New England, 12/4: Indianapolis @ New England

*denotes playoff team

view from Dolphins/Cowboys courtesy of @Rontina

Just Another Typical, Run of the Mill NFL Preview: NFC East

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Champs: Philadelphia Eagles (10-6)* – Mike Vick will not stay healthy for an entire 16 game schedule which is why the Eagles held onto backup Kevin Kolb for some extra insurance. They did what? Oh right, so they trading Kolb to the Cardinals and brought in a healthy Vince Young instead. A bad hamstring you say. Right, well it’s a good thing Mike Kafka is ready to morph into a starting QB should Vick go down.

On Deck: Dallas Cowboys (9-7)* – Why does the NFL continue to allow Tony Romo to wear that stupid looking backwards Starter cap? I was under the impression that the league only allowed players to wear NFL Equipment gear. If Romo does in fact have his own deal with Starter then I bet he has all sorts of sweet jackets at home in his closet. Too bad there aren’t any ski resorts around the Dallas area because he would look so awesomely 80’s flying down the slopes in a vintage Jimmy Johnson special to go along with a nice pair of tapered blue jeans.

Limbo: NY Giants (7-9) – Never has a Giant team entered a season with such uneven expectations. To those most loyal fans who expect the GMen to win the division, or even contend for a playoff spot, my question to you is how? Kevin Boss ain’t walking through that door anytime soon. And at what point of the season can we expect the Bill Cowher to the Meadowlands in 2012 rumors to begin? Poor Grandpa Tom Coughlin has been on life support nearly his entire career in the East Rutherford.

Chumps: Washington Redskins (6-10) – My father taught me two things in life: 1) always replace your divots and 2) don’t bet on a team w/ either an overweight or mormon QB.**

Fantasy Sleepers – Travis Beckum (TE, Giants), Ronnie Brown (RB, Eagles), Mike Kafka (QB, Eagles)**

Ready for Primetime Games – 9/11: Dallas @ NY Jets, 9/18: Philly @ Atlanta, 9/19 St. Louis @ NY Giants, 9/26: Washington @ Dallas, 10/30: Dallas @ Philly, 11/7: Chicago @ Philly, 11/20: Philly @ NY Giants, 11/28: NY Giants @ New Orleans, 12/1: Philly @ Seattle, 12/11: NY Giants @ Dallas, 12/17: Dallas @ Tampa Bay

** Stop it. Like you really think Vick is playing 16 games anyway.

*** Steve Young being the only exception

view from MetLife Stadium courtesy of @Miamor718

Monday Musings: Labor Day Edition

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Ahhh Labor Day. One of my favorite made up holidays of the year. What exactly are we honoring by not working today? If we were truly trying to pay tribute to the economic and social contributions of workers, shouldn’t we be working? Also, this just in from Madison, Governor Scott Walker has cancelled all state sponsored Labor Day events in Wisconsin. Apparently he didn’t want to send any mixed messages to the thousands of union members who have already lost all collective bargaining rights.

Surprisingly, that’s not the biggest story coming out of Badgerland this weekend. No, Wisco is a flutter with Heismania for Badger QB Russell Wilson who led UW to an impression victory over UNLV Thursday Night in Camp Randall Stadium. But you know how fluid awards hype can be. It was Wilson Thursday night, followed by Baylor QB Robert Griffin III Friday, and now after his performance Sat evening in the Georgia Dome, you can put Boise St. QB Kellen Moore right at the top of the early Heisman list.

Alas, it’s still early September and we have lots of time to argue over who is going to win the major college football awards. Right now our time is still better served talking baseball, particularly where the final month of the regular season is going to take us.

A Quick Trip Around the Bases

1B – Everyone wants to complain about the length of these Red Sox/Yankees games and I have reached the point where I am genuinely fed up with both sides of the argument. If you can’t appreciate Josh Beckett taking 2 minutes in between pitches to chew his gum while staring dimly at catcher Jason Varitek then you should watch something else. Rizzoli and Isles is beginning it’s second season on TNT and remember, they know drama.

2B – This past week, in a desperate attempt to find some sort of offense, the reigning world series champs the San Francisco Giants cut ties with two veterans INF Miguel Tejada and OF Aaron Rowand. No word as to what this means for Aubrey Huff, Pat Burrell, and Mike Fontenot who are all having equally anemic seasons at the plate. Where’s Kevin Mitchell when you need him?

3B – Can Albert Pujols really lead the Cardinals all the way back from nearly 10 games behind the NL Central leading Milwaukee Brewers? Is there enough time left in the 2011 season for Prince Albert to raise his average above the .300 mark making it 11 seasons in a row for him hitting .300 with over 30 HR’s, and 100 RBI. Anything’s possible when you’re talking about Pujols. He did after all attend Maple Woods Community College in Kansas City, Missouri.

HR – Finally, September call ups give us fans of even the most inept MLB teams to catch a glimpse of the future and hopefully brighter days ahead. Of course when that future consists of players like Matt Angle and Xavier Avery, how much do we really have to look forward to anyway?

That’s it everybody! Enjoy the rest of your holiday weekend and make sure to travel safe.

view from Comerica Park courtesy of @22ptp