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Monday Musings: Baseball Swan Song Edition

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This will be the last baseball centric Musings for 2011. With the playoffs around the corner, you can expect a little post season preview sometime later this week. Until then, enjoy your quick trip around the bases, it’ll be a while until the next.

A Quick Around the Bases

1B – With the MLB playoffs set to begin this Friday, now feels like as good a time as any for baseball to consider adding 2 wild card teams to the post season. In this new plan, each league would hold a one game play in game between the two wild card teams with the idea being that this extra “series” would compel teams to compete for division titles rather than settle for the wild card. Anyway you slice it, the Baltimore Orioles are getting no closer to their first post season appearance in nearly two decades.

2B – Moneyball the movie opened in theaters this weekend and finished second at the box office behind Lion King 3-D with roughly $20 million. Reviews are incredibly positive and I myself look forward to seeing the film, just as soon as I read the book. And before you sabermetricians begin to judge, most of my nightly reading consists of stories that involve a cow jumping over the moon so it could be some time before Moneyball makes its way to my nightstand.

3B – After a historically inept season, Adam Dunn Chicago has got to do some serious brainstorming to do this offseason. I can personally attest to the notion that hitting a baseball is in fact the most difficult thing to do in sports, well ahead of running a ten yard out pattern or taking a charge against LeBron James. However, when you’re given $56 million and end up hitting roughly .160, you are going to open yourself up for some extra criticism.

HR – The new Miami Marlins logo leaked  this past week and nearly everyone is appalled. The new design will make the team look like a bunch of jai alai players. Quick note, when betting on jai alai, always put money on the heavier set player with a name like Garapudo or Romeo. Those guys always know how to use a cesta.

view from Busch Stadium courtesy of @ColdAsFire_Baby

View My Picks: NFL Week 3

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CINCINNATI (-2.5) over San Francisco: I have two lasting memories from Super Bowl XVI, 1) Tim Krumrie breaking his leg followed by the grotesque slow motion “spaghetti ankle” and 2) Joe Montana pointing out John Candy sitting at the 50 yard just as the 49ers were about to break the huddle on their Super Bowl clinching drive.

BUFFALO (+8.5) over New England: This Patriots secondary still gives me the willies. Also, I’m loving the whole “would Ryan Fitzpatrick be so popular if he hadn’t gone to Harvard” discussion. I feel like this is a Bob Bradley Op-ed in The Buffalo News just waiting to happen.

NEW ORLEANS (-4) over Houston: Two Gulf Coast cities forever linked by Hurricane Katrina. It seems like only yesterday that Saints owner Tom Benson was threatening to move the Saints to San Antonio. Now, there is no NFL team as synonymous with their city as the Saints and New Orleans. And speaking of Hurricane Katrina, what would Larry David do without Leon Black?

PHILADELPHIA (-7) over NY Giants: Giants had very little business beating the Rams last Monday night. Furthermore, how much longer will Eli Manning defenders use the whole “it gets really windy in the Meadowlands” excuse for why he can’t throw a 10 yard out pattern before the majority of New Yorkers forget all about Super Bowl XLII and wish the younger Manning would donate a few extra vertebrae to older brother Peyton?

CLEVELAND (-2.5) over Miami: If you combined these two teams they would have a really good shot at the playoffs.

Denver (+6.5) over TENNESSEE: If Tim Tebow stays at WR for the Broncos does it mean he is going to have to change his number from #16? If so, can all those fans who bought his jersey receive some sort of refund?

Detroit (-3.5) over MINNESOTA: I really should have stopped betting on Donovan McNabb 15 years ago when he was riding the pine for the Syracuse Orange basketball team backing up Jason Hart and Marius Janulis.

CAROLINA (-3.5) over Jacksonville: Things I learned from the Brooklyn Flea Market Part II. #1: Bison Jerky is just as good as Beef Jerky. #2: Everyone in Brooklyn dresses the exact same way. #3: Never drive home to Connecticut on a Sunday afternoon when the Hutchinson River Parkway is shut down to a single lane, you have a screaming 7 month old in the backseat, and the only football option on the radio is the second half of Jets/Jaguars.

SAN DIEGO (-14.5) over Kansas City: At least Kansas City has the Royals.

OAKLAND (+3.5) over NY Jets: Upset Special!!! Upset Special!!! And speaking of Oakland, did you hear Moneyball is coming out this weekend and that Brad Pitt may or may not still hate Jennifer Aniston? According to Will Leitch at Yahoo Projector, the more you like baseball the less you’ll like this movie.

Baltimore (-3.5) over ST. LOUIS: I’m calling it right now, Rams start the season 0-3 and still go on to win the NFC West.

TAMPA BAY (-1.5) over Atlanta: Pewter is not sympathetic to sweat. The Bucs tend to look like PGA golfer Tim Herron after a mid July round at Congressional.

SEATTLE (+3.5) over Arizona: With the release of Pearl Jam Twenty, a documentary directed by Cameron Crowe and dedicated to one of the most iconic, influential American rock and roll bands of the last quarter century, here’s a list of my five favorite PJ songs.

5) State of Love and Trust: So complex and yet so elemental. The title alone forces you to conjure the corner of a busy emotional intersection.

4) Just Breathe: What? Guys can like this song too!

3) Elderly Women Behind the Counter in A Small Town: “Memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.”

2) Corduroy: Brings me back to the days when I was driving home from high school basketball practice and the only CD’s in my Case Logic were Vitalogy and my dad’s copy of Des’ree I Ain’t Movin.

1) Rearviewmirror: This one always makes me want to drive about 20 miles over the speed limit. Plus, when played live, the commotion/hysteria that builds throughout the crowd is usually enough to blow the whole damn roof off of the building.

CHICAGO (+3.5) over Green Bay: Jay Glazer is erratic, like “can’t trust him behind the wheel of a car” kind of twitchy. During his Real Sports interview with Bryant Gumbel, Glazer was never an arms length away from his two cell phones and a bottle of 5 Hour Energy. At least now we know how Clay Matthews became the dominant pass rusher in the NFL. All it took was a combination of MMA training and bronzing powder.

Pittsburgh (-10.5) over Indianapolis: Speaking of Glazer, this Peyton Manning/European stem cell story is not receiving nearly enough attention. For starters, doesn’t it seem fairly ridiculous that Manning would have to travel across the Atlantic Ocean to receive this kind of advanced medical treatment? Shouldn’t this issue have been raised last night at the GOP debate in Orlando? Can we at least blame Chris Wallace for the oversight?

WASHINGTON (+5.5) over Dallas: Is it ethical for a defensive player to target Tony Romo’s ribs, knowing full well that he is playing with a punctured lung. I for one can’t believe Romo is even considering taking the field with that kind of injury. If I had a punctured lung I wouldn’t be tying my own shoes let alone going to work.

Last Week 8-8 (season: 16-16)

view from Nippert Stadium courtesy of @BennyCL

 

 

The Idiot’s Guide to Conference Realignment

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Recently, I’ve had a lot of people ask me, “hey Jon, what do you think of all this crazy conference realignment happening in college athletics right now?”. Pause Ok, so maybe nobody has asked me about all the crazy conference realignment in college athletics right now. But that doesn’t change the fact that realignment remains a topic of conversation for passionate sports fans across the country even though amongst my immediate circle of friends it ranks somewhere in between the new season of Dancing With the Stars and the Poker Ponzi Scheme.

So Oklahoma and Texas bolt for the Pac 12, bringing Oklahoma State and Texas Tech along with them, while Mizzou heads down to the SEC, Rutgers and UConn make it 16 in the ACC, and the Big East is left picking up the Big 12leftovers. There has to be enough football money to go around. Last time I checked, the ESPN family of networks was airing almost every single college football game including Gardner-Webb/Wake Forest and UCF/Florida International.

My take is quite simple. As a product of a DIII athletic conference where college presidents will not allow their football programs to play enough games to qualify for post season play because the extra weekends would “interfere” with a student/athletes academics, I really don’t understand what all the fuss is about. I mean, so long as there are enough chairs for every school to sit down on when the music stops, shouldn’t we just simply allow the process to proceed?

The only thing that really bothers me is the thought of no Big East basketball championship in Madison Square Garden. Those 5 days in early March are one of the highlights of my annual sports calendar. And sure, I can see the ACC tourney relocating to the Big Apple but Duke/Pitt just doesn’t carry the same gritty nostalgia as Syracuse/Georgetown. I for one love hearing from curmudgeons like Jim Boeheim who believe AD’s should just leave well enough alone.

And finally, the way the Big East is headed, maybe the conference will be lucky to play a tournament in the Providence Civic Center let alone MSG.

view from Toledo/Boise St. courtesy of @bigrupe57

Weekend Leftovers

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Almost as good as the day it was made.

i. Are the Patriots really the best team in the NFL? Sure, their offense is like something out of Pleasantville, but the defense has more flaws than Floyd Mayweather’s tax returns. Let’s wait and see how the New England secondary fairs against the undefeated Buffalo Bills/Ryan Fitzpatrick juggernaut before handing Bill Belichick his 4th Lombardi Trophy. Also, those faint whispers you hear off in the distance are all that remains of the Tedy Bruschi/Chad Ochocinco tweet off. I swear, WEEI was more than partially responsible for overblowing this non story. Anything to take the focus off the epic Red Sox collapse.

ii. At the start of the season, I set the over/under at 4 games before Mike Vick went down with an injury. Needless to say, I wasn’t surprised when the Eagles star QB went down with a minor concussion in the 3rd quarter of last night’s game vs Atlanta. And I know what you’re all going to say, there is no such thing as a “minor” concussion. For those scoring at home, minor concussion ranks just behind “forward lateral” and “student athlete” as the best football oxymoron.

iii. Betting against the Steelers to cover the -14.5 was almost as stupid as my decision not to wear an undershirt at my sister’s summer wedding. When the heat didn’t end up breaking by 5:30 I was left looking and smelling like a pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream.

iv. Congratulations to the Chiefs for officially becoming the team in 2011 that everyone picks against in their suicide pools and fantasy leagues. Although, to be fair, KC has been completely decimated by season ending ACL’s. So if you’re not a fan of head coach Todd Haley, this is your lucky year. Somewhere in Gainesville, Charlie Weis is grinning.

v. I’m happy for Cowboys WR Jesse Holley. His rags to riches story is why we love watching sports. But, the celebration after the catch has got to go. He looked like some sort of preverse cross between Sexual Chocolate and Sergeant Elias gafter he was shot down by Tom Berenger.

view from Met Life stadium courtesy of @ItsMarisaRoss 

 

Monday Musings: Why I Don’t Gamble Edition

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I spent my early Sunday afternoon not watching football at the Brooklyn Flea Market. Why you ask would I subject myself to such obvious distraction? Well, as it turns out, the flea market isn’t just peddling second hand wares, it was also a gathering for some of the boroughs finest food carts. I will look back on this day and remember the pastries from Dough and fish tacos from El Diablo Taco Truck. Both were much more satisfying than the first half of New York Jets vs Jacksonville Jaguars.

A Quick Trip Around the Bases

1B – To say Joe Mauer had a disappointing season would be a gross understatement. Mauer, who the Twins deactivated for the remainder of the season after coming down with a case of the midwestern pneumonia, ends his season with a .287 average adding 3 HR and 30 RBI over 82 games. I don’t think this is what Twins fans had in mind when Minnesota signed the home grown catcher to a unprecedented 8 year $184 million contract in 2010. With EJ Manuel hobbled, maybe it’s not too late for Mauer to quarterback the Florida State Seminoles after all.

2B – Why would Prince Fielder decide that now is the time to share with us that he is “probably” in his last year with the Milwaukee Brewers? The Brew Crew are inches away from capturing the NL Central title so now is obviously not the best time for their star first baseman to weigh in on eventual free agency. Also, why make this announcement on TBS? I thought the superstation only ran reruns of NCIS and King of Queens.

3B – Ozzie Guillen for Logan Morrison? Sure, why can’t you try and trade a manager for a player? Makes sense for all parties involved. Marlins get the manager of their dreams just in time to “fill” their new stadium while the White Sox get a young outfielder who will bring along his twitter followers. What could possibly go wrong with this scenario?

HR – Oh, and just in case you thought I forgot, the Red Sox are now only two games in front of the Tampa Bay Rays for the AL Wild Card. But who’s keeping track anyway?

Extra Bases – Sunday was a perfect example of why I don’t gamble on individual football games. I’m part of a weekly pool where we pick winners for every game based on the spread. It’s a fairly low stakes pool, with not much more on the line than some bragging rights with my dad and his coworkers. Yesterday was one of those days where I picked a lot of winners, but those teams managed to cover the spread on only a handful of occasions. The dagger for my day had to be when Dallas, favored by 3.5, completed a pass to rarely used Jesse Holley who carried the ball all the way down to the San Fran 1 yard line before being caught from behind by a 49ers defensive back. Another yard and the Cowboys win and cover. However, rather than run the risk of fumbling on the goal line, Dallas decides to kick the game winning field goal on first down and I, along with thousands of others, lose out. This is why I don’t bet on football on individual football games.

view from Fenway Park courtesy of @MichaelDola