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At the Intersection of Sports and Culture

Photo Credit for Header: Alex Foucre-Stimes

Handshake From High Up

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Yesterday, September 4th 2012, something really remarkable happened. (And no I am not referring to Michelle Obama’s impassioned, empathetic meter turner at the DNC.) The Baltimore Orioles defeated fellow American East mates the Toronto Blue Jays 12-0 to raise their record to 76-59. Baltimore and the New York Yankees, who are beginning to look more and more like a team lost at sea, are now tied atop the division with 27 games remaining in the regular season. This is a substantial development for two reasons: 1) in the middle of July the Yankees held a 10 game lead in the AL East and 2) as we all know, the Orioles, who internally could care less about their negative run differential, are 6 measly victories away from procuring their first winning season since 1997. Here’s what is really freaky, they may have me to thank for their recent rise to the top.

Soccer has Diego Maradona’s “Hand of God” and now baseball has what will forever be remembered as the “the handshake”. My brother in law Eddie and I were fortunate enough to attend last Thursday’s night session at the U.S. Open. For those sports fan who have yet to visit the national tennis center it is a must. Great for the family or a single night out on the town. Of course, it’s not cheap and you may need to either dip into the disposable income or, like us, graciously accept a few of freebies.

Back to “the handshake”, it all went down outside of Arthur Ashe Stadium in between Roger Federer disposing of some really short German guy and Venus Williams sadly looking like her best was a thing of the past. As we were bounding down the concourse steps, excited to be a mere 20 paces away from another Honeydeuce and $15 free range chicken sandwich, I noticed a small cluster of people milling around a lower level entry area. At first glance there was nothing spectacular about this group. A couple of fairly attractive ladies in sandals and sun dresses, a few younger business bros who were probably on their way to Montauk to crush some mojitos over Labor Day weekend, and 2 dudes in jeans and tshirts. One of the guys had on a trucker hat pulled way down low which made it nearly impossible to decipher his facial features. But because I’m an Orioles fan, and recovering baseball card collector, I could tell that the man behind the mask was none other than Baltimore 1B Mark Reynolds, who was set to take in a little tennis before the Birds began their crucial three game series against the Yankees the following night.

Without thinking, I turned on a swivel and began walking towards Reynolds who was caught completely off guard when, with right hand extended, I said, “Hey Mark. Huge O’s fan. Good luck this weekend.”. He graciously shook my hand but the whole time had this look on his face like “who the hell is this guy and how does he know I’m Mark Reynolds”. Scared or not, I walked away both extremely proud that I recognized the starting 1B on my favorite baseball team and that he may or may not have been intimidated by my hulking, moderately intoxicated, presence.

Flash forward. Friday night. Orioles/Yankees at the Stadium. Start of a three game series that would go a long way towards determining the AL East. Mark Reynolds, my new best friend, ends the night with 2 home runs, and a couple of remarkable diving stops at first base, as Baltimore rolls 6-1. But it doesn’t end there, in the five games since “the handshake”, Reynolds has gone 8 for 19 with 5 HRs and 11 RBI helping the Orioles to a 4-1 record and tie New York atop the AL East standings.

Now you can say what you want about karma or positive vibes, but if you were in my position and your favorite baseball team hadn’t experienced a winning season in over 15 years, wouldn’t you like to believe that you could play a roll, however minor, in your team’s recent success? Of course, I refuse to accept responsibility if things all of a sudden go bad for the Birds. Blame J.J. Hardy. He was with Reynolds on the night of “the handshake” and was too “distracted” on his cell phone to accept my praises. Who knows, maybe we wil meet again in September.

view from the Rogers Centre courtesy of @SentiaSolutions

 

 

Fantasy Island Failure

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(Editor’s Note: the following is my failed attempt to become one of 10 fantasy football writers for Grantland. I thought I had a pretty good chance of moving on to the next round and was therefore entirely devastated to find out that not only did I not make the grade but also failed to receive some sort of conciliatory message from ESPN. Congrats to the chosen few. May your 2012 fantasy season(s) be full of peace, joy, and Phillip Rivers.)

“Don’t Forget To Tip Your Waitress”

There’s this diner I like to frequent that serves the best breakfast food on the East Coast. On weekend mornings I cozy up to the counter and find myself a comfy stool right next to the chief of police and that weirdo organic yogurt farmer who always smells like the dairy aisle at the local supermarket. I want to ask when the last time he showered was but that might lead to a lengthy discussion on probiotics, which, not surprisingly, should be avoided at all costs.

Lots of my friends who aren’t as familiar with this particular diner as I am ask me about what they should order and I always tell them the same thing that a breakfast is a very personal thing. My favorite items on the menu might not necessarily match up with other peoples’ personal preferences, but that’s ok. A little healthy discourse over food choices can lead to some of the more entertaining, time consuming conversations for folks looking to escape the grind of a 9 to 5. It’s not uncommon at my diner to find a group of patrons arguing over the menu for hours after close. I get the sense that some of these guys are simply looking to avoid heading home to see their families.

In any case, my typical Sunday brunch always starts with a tall cup of coffee (1), usually equipped with an extra shot of espresso to give my weekend morning the kind of kick-start it requires. That’s the thing about this diner brew, the upright packaging is incredibly unorthodox for a premium blend coffee but the more you have the more productive your morning becomes. What was once an underrated diner coffee has now received multiple chamber of commerce awards including a 5 year contract to become the primary coffee of all town rotary functions and bingo nights.

Next comes the hard boiled egg (2), which at my diner is the linchpin to any successful breakfast. One thing I love about this particular item is that the exterior is incredibly hard to crack. You can roll the shell on the counter for a good 25-30 rotations, including a few swing passes to your neighbor and the darn thing will not crack. The greatest fear that all of us who enjoy the hard boiled egg have is that because the diner relies so heavily on this particular item that one day the chickens are going to break down and no longer be able to provide such a reliable compliment to any breakfast, hot or cold.

If you ever visit my diner you have to order the mega-sized plate of hash browns (3) that will have you tiptoeing down the sidewalk. Occasionally this plate full of potatoes comes of the skillet so hot that it burns the accompanying onions which were meant to cover these hash browns but inevitably end up falling shamefully to the ground only to be swept up by the bus boys. Because these hash browns enjoyed such a big year last fall, a lot of customers will urge you to stay away from this dish for fear that they can’t possibly replicate their success this season. Screw it, when you find food as dominant and physically imposing as these hash browns you have to stick with them.

After the hash browns come two eggs, sunny side down (4). I find that the extra shade is good especially when you can’t always count often out of stock orange juice to take some of the heat off the eggs.

I like to top off my ideal meal at the diner with a nice fresh grapefruit (5), which by my count has already won multiple awards including citrus championships in New Orleans, Houston, and Jacksonville. The grapefruit is perhaps the most polarizing item on the menu, drawing praise from the locals and the ire and jealousy of out of towners. These fruits are so prolific that they were once blended with a strand of oranges from Brazil to produce the most beautiful citrus offspring on the planet. If you want to be surprised by the potency of the grapefruit, try a little sugar (S), a new item on the menu that was falling to waste in a warehouse in St. Louis.

So that’s it, my Sunday breakfast at the local diner. It’s your prerogative to agree or disagree with these food choices. In fact, the disagreements are what keep people coming back to the restaurant year after year.

 

Crossed Fingers For The Baltimore Orioles

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Baseball fans, like baseball players, are superstitious. The way we watch and talk about our favorite team is as important as the manner in which Derek Jeter prepares for an at bat or the reason why R.A. Dickey struggled in Cincinnati. Fear of breaking from the routine is the reason why I have been so reticent to write about the Baltimore Orioles. As you may or may not know the Birds are fighting for a playoff spot for the first time in well over a decade. With a little more than a month remaining in the regular season Baltimore is currently tied for the Wild Card lead but faces stiff competition from the Rays, A’s, Tigers, and Angels. Today I’m willing to shelve my silence and superstitions in order to bring greater notoriety to a team, my team, that has continued to fight on through the dog days. Here are just a few reasons why.

To steal a phrase from everybody’s favorite mid-90s sports centric rom-com, “You had me at hello Manny Machado. You had me at hello.“. There isn’t one person on the planet who could have predicted such a titillating start in the big leagues for one of MLB’s top prospects. Precocious baseball superstars have not been uncommon in 2012 (see Trout, Mike and Harper, Bryce) but what Machado accomplished in his first week with the Orioles surpasses what most fans thought possible for a 20 year old playing out of position. In his first four games with the Orioles, Machado went 6-16 with a double, a triple, 3 HRs, 7 RBI, and 5 runs scored to help him share player of the week honors with some guy from Fenway who allows teammates to borrow his phone and text message the owner. To think, some “analysts” thought his call up to the majors was premature and an act of desperation for a team searching for its first playoff birth in over a decade. Please, Machado was always the best available option at any level to help the big league club shore up its right side of the infield even after playing only two games at the hot corner in the minors.

Along with the bravado of Machado (put that on a poster won’t you) comes the panache of Manager Buck Showalter which has clearly infected players like Mark Reynolds, the latter having disappointed for most of the season until he launched himself into the hearts of Birdland after one of the most memorable Charm City tirades since the days of Earl Weaver and Mayor Schaefer. Reynolds was thrown out of a game against the Detroit Tigers Friday night for vehemently protesting a controversial call at first base. (Editors note: Tim Timmons needs to eat more carrots.) His post game comments were a thing of beauty and while some outsiders may argue that what Reynolds did and said crossed the imaginary line between competitive spirit and entitled petulance most Orioles fans could really give two shits about what anyone else thinks. It’s about time this team and franchise started to act like they gave a crap because their aren’t many fans left walking around the Inner Harbor who don’t list the Ravens first and Orioles second in the battle for the hearts and minds of Baltimore.

And how about a heaping of praise to Nick Markakis the RF who has reinvented his Orioles career with a transition to the leadoff spot in the lineup. The Greek God of Outfield Assists continues to get on base and hit for power. Some guys are just more comfortable in certain parts of the lineup and with Brian Roberts back on the DL, and JJ Hardy better suited in the two hole, the Orioles had very little choice but to go with Markakis and at just the right time too.

Another key ingredient to the Orioles prolonged success through mid August has been the still sturdy bullpen which everyone from Pythagorus himself seems to agree is destined to eventually implode into a fiery inferno like the ill fated Hindenburg. 8th inning guy Pedro Strop gave up his first run(s) Saturday night since all the way back on July 5. (Complaining about quick pitching is for sore losers and public safety directors.) Closer Jim Johnson has 36 saves good enough for second in the AL and with a reprogrammed Brian Matusz perhaps the Birds will find the valuable left handed reliever they have been searching for.

At the start of the 2012 season, most Orioles fans would have been satisfied with a final record at or above .500, a statistical feat that hadn’t happened since 1997, a prolonged streak of ineptitude that has many in Baltimore feeling like Captain Ahab. But now, 81-81 just isn’t good enough and with every series victory Baltimore becomes more and more resolute. The Wild Card is in our grasp. Take it. You never know when the opportunity will come around again.

view from Comerica Park courtesy of @Britt_Ghiroli

Lessons Learned From The 2012 Open Championship

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Lesson Learned From The 2012 Open Championship

1) The term “freshening” has come to mean many different things to many different people. Apparently to those fine folks living across the pond as well as the ESPN crew manning the towers for us folks back in the States, the term “freshening” refers to a rejuvenating gust of wind that players must take notice of before attempting their next shot.  Scott Van Pelt alone must have used this term 10 times during Thursday’s opening round telecast. As McIlroy steps to the tee a freshening breeze begins to cascade off of the Irish Sea. Might want to think about going with a long iron here eh Curtis?

I don’t know about you but every time I hear the word “freshening” I can’t help but think of those hot towels airlines used to dispense towards the end of a long flight. That was always such a welcome experience. I could never deduce how they managed the proper balance of moisture to heat. Probably had something to do with the spring roll style presentation. And the tongs. What ever happened to the tongs airlines used to distribute these warm towels? By now they have rightfully been put on some sort of no fly list along with box cutters, pocket knives, and 2 liter bottles of Mountain Dew. Now when you get on a plane all you are offered is a bag of Sun Chips and the duty free catalogue. But then again, you are flying.

2) The weather, or lack thereof was a major disappointment, at least for those of us golf fans sitting on our asses back home. Surely the large galleries of fans and competitors on the course didn’t mind a little fun in the sun, especially considering that it led to reasonably benign scoring conditions over the first three days of competition. Part of the charm of the Open Championship is that you can turn on your television and expect to see sideways rain and powerful winds threatening to knock down petite golfers like Luke Donald. As an amateur golfer, part of the appeal of playing through inclement weather is that the experience can make you feel as if you’re a running through a gauntlet similar to what the world’s best can expect when they tee it up at the Open Championship. It’s a very “freshening” experience outlasting the elements, (except lighting, never lightning), that is until you get in your car and realize that it’s going to take nearly a week for your seat cushion to dry out.

The forecast for the 2012 Open called for the traditional cloudy with a chance of meatballs but failed to deliver on that promise. Here’s hoping for more rain at Muirfield in 2013.

3) Watching golf in the afternoon is great but watching it first thing in the morning while the rest of your family is still asleep is even better. I’ve never been happier to wake up at 430 in the morning in my entire life. The house was still, the coffee was fresh, and perhaps most importantly, my 1 year old son was still 2 1/2 hours from waking up. Good thing too because as soon as that little rascal opens his eyes the entire house is flipped over on its axis and I’ll then have a better chance of seeing Curious George cleanup one of his predictable messes than I will Tiger coming up short with another pitching wedge. I hope Augusta National considers wheeling in huge stadium lights so that we can get a little primetime Masters coverage next April. But that’s probably wishful thinking especially for a private club that continues to refer to the fans as “patrons”,

4) Fans at the Open Championship really are some of the best fans in the world. I counted only a handful of “You Da Mans” and maybe just one or two “Mashed Potatoes”.  If this Championship were being held at say the Greenbrier in White Sulphur Springs, West Virginia that number would have been innumerably higher. And there are countless other reasons for why Open fans are so great including: knowledge of golf history, adherence to etiquette, and ability to pull off the messenger bag while on the golf course. It was as if all 30K or so onlookers had bopped on over to Royal Lytham en route to delivering sensitive materials to a local barrister. I wasn’t sure if I was watching a golf tournament or a group of hipsters at a Brooklyn coffee shop.

5) That for all the talk about how golf has never been better and that there are 100 or so talented players that have a legitimate chance of winning a major championship, the cream usually rises to the top. And I understand that with Ernie Els victory on Sunday that makes 16 different champions over the last 16 majors but go ahead and take a look at the leader board on Sunday afternoon: Scott, Woods, McDowell, Els, Donald. These names are some of the games best and when Adam Scott blew that 4 shot lead it wasn’t as if someone like Todd Hamilton stepped in to claim the Claret Jug. Els might not have been playing like the hall of famer that he already is but this latest coronation cements his place as one of the games all time best.

 view from the Canadian Open courtesy of @mwadzy

Tee Times To Determine 2012 Open Championship

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If you have ever played a round of golf then you understand how important it is to be grouped with the right mix of people. No matter the level of competition, from novice to scratch, who you play with can go a very long way towards determining the outcome of your round. Some folks don’t mind playing with complete strangers, while others, like myself, prefer the company of close friends. Golf, at its finest, is an incredibly humbling sport and I typically would not want to share such vulnerability with a group of randos. Friends are there to pick you up when you take 3 to get out of a bunker and knock you down after you drain a chip shot from off the green.

Which leads me to the British Open, ahem sorry, Open Championship. (Would hate to start the column by offending any readers from across the pond.) With play about to begin Thursday at Royal Lytham and St. Annes, the R&A, that’s the Royal and Ancient Golf Club to those of you outside the know, released the groupings for the 1st and 2nd rounds. If these pros are anything like us then who they are partnered with in these early rounds will play a big part in determining the champion of the 2012 Open Championship.

I think it was John Feinstein who wrote in his book on the 2002 US Open at Bethpage Black that the USGA likes to have some fun when putting together the early round pairings. Apparently they put traditionally slower players or golfers who all shared some form of the name ‘Michael’ together in the same group. Not sure if the R&A works in the same sort of mischievous ways but that doesn’t mean that it wouldn’t be really interesting to sit in on some of the discussions that took place when they settled on these groupings.

Here now are a just few superlatives for the early round groupings at the 2012 Open Championship from Royal Lytham and St. Anne’s.

(all starting Thursday start times are in BST, that’s British Summer Time to you and I. I really don’t care to know what it’s called during the winter months although I have a sneaking suspicion that a Meridian Line is involved)

Group Most Likely To Be Caught With Various Tobacco Products: 7:47 BST – David Duval, Raphael Jacquelin, and Miguel Angel Jimenez

All I can say is I sure do hope Monsieur Jacquelin enjoys a good puff now and again, (Of course he does, he’s French!!!) because between Duval with his chewing tobacco (at least I assume he still dips) and Jimenez and his stogies, this group promises to be up in smoke. (Picture the cast of Mad Men on a links style course outside of Montauk.) During his halcyon years, Duval could always be found with a protruding lower lip full of enough fiberglass to build a sea kayak while for his part Jimenez, the world’s most interesting golfer, can usually still be seen walking the grounds with a nice fat Cubano protruding from his mouth. (If only wine were allowed on the course. Damn R&A!!!)

Group Where The R&A Had To Let You Play As Former Winners Of The Open Championship: 7:03 – Todd Hamilton, Sandy Lyle, and Mark Calcavecchia

Calcavecchia also bears the distinction of having his wife caddy for him, which is quite an honorable feat considering this would never be allowed to happen in our household mostly because my wife and I can barely agree on what type of dressing to put on the salad let alone decide which club to hit from a buried lie in a fairway bunker. (And by the way, I’m not one of those douchey guys who refuses to play golf with his wife. Those idiots are the worst. No, I’m fine with playing golf with my better half so long as we play at a suitable pace and I get to drive the cart.)

Group Most Likely To Get Stuck In A Waggle: 10:15 – Jason Dufner, Martin Laird, Kevin Na

Kevin Na is a walking rain delay. With the amount of time he takes to hit a shot, if it is not already raining when he addresses the golf ball it will be by the time it’s in the air. Dufner isn’t so much a slow golfer as he is a fidgety player who with all the club waggles looks like someone superglued a shake weight to his hands. In order to fit in with the circus like atmosphere Martin Laird may want to think about developing some sort of quirky walk for the fairways.

Group Most Likely To Be Confused For A Law Firm: 12:59 – Ben Curtis, Paul Casey, Trevor Immelman

Can’t you just hear the voiceover now? “Injured by a hot basket of french fries? Call the offices of Curtis, Casey, and Immelman for all your frivolous lawsuit needs. They’ll work, so you never have to again.”

Group Most Likely To Miss The Claret Jug: 9:09 – Darren Clarke, Ernie Els, Zach Johnson

I can’t believe they make Open Champions return the trophy. How is Darren Clarke, or any former champion for that matter, expected to get anyone to go to bed with them?

Group Most Likely To Enjoy A Few Pints Together After The Round: 9:31 – Dustin Johnson, Graeme McDowell, Hiroyuki Fujita

Dustin Johnson has had an unfortunate, reckless history of being over-served while McDowell is on the record as saying he enjoyed a few too many after his 2010 US Open championship. Here’s hoping Fujita knows the number of a reliable taxi service and then passes those digits along to Jason Kidd.

Group Most Likely To Talk About The Mechanics Of Their Golf Swing: 9:42 – Tiger Woods, Justin Rose, and Sergio Garcia

As you know, Tiger and Rose share the services of swing guru Sean Foley. One hopes they would be gracious enough to include Garcia in their discussions but Woods does seem like the fastidious type. Plus spitting in a cup is just plain disgusting.

Group Most Likely To Produce the 2012 Open Champion: 14:43 – Luke Donald, Phil Mickelson, Geoff Ogilvy

After a solid performance in the Scottish Open, Mickelson should be feeling much better about his chances at Royal Lytham. However, it’s Donald who I’m predicting walks away with the Claret Jug and his first major championship. Of course, Ogilvy and Donald could have some sort of deep seeded feud that leads to a complete mental breakdown from the world’s #1. That’s just how important a grouping can be.

view from the practice range at Royal Lytham courtesy of @StephanieWei