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At the Intersection of Sports and Culture

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Boogie Nights and the Return of the Elbow Jumper

May 24, 2011 by Jon

I hope all you young basketball players out there are taking a good long look at Dirk Nowitzki’s performance in the Western Conference Finals. Do you see where he is taking and making the majority of his shots? Right from the free throw line. He essentially has one move that cannot be stopped regardless of who is guarding him. I’m pretty sure OKC has tried to stop Dirk with a combination of Kevin Durant, Serge Ibaka, and T. Boone Pickens. Back to the basket, turn and face w/defender giving no space, and drain a 15ft jump shot off of one foot. Cannot be stopped.

Hopefully Dirk’s performance is providing incentive for all young hoopsters out there who bypass the elbow jumpshot for the much sexier “triple” that it pays to work on your mid range game. Most young, and old, players gravitate towards the 3pt line where the the hand gestures are much cooler but the FG% is much, much lower.

Nowitzki is bringing the elbow jumper back in style and riding it all the way to the NBA Finals where a potential rematch w/ Dwyane Wade and Miami Heat is looming. Can we also agree that Kevin Durant and the OKC Thunder, much like D Rose and the Chicago Bulls, may be one year away from winning a championship. Durant and Russell Westbrook need to spend a good, long summer together at sleepaway camp where they can reconnect and reestablish the friendship that has made the Thunder roll in the past.

view from OKC courtesy of @photocorry

Beware of Falling Ping Pong Balls

May 19, 2011 by Jon

I remember reading “The Lottery”, a short story by Shirley Jackson, in high school and thinking: “man, those small town folk sure do have a morbid way of maintaining a sustainable population”. For those unfamiliar with the story, the basic premise is that a small village draws straws to see who “wins” the opportunity to be stoned to death by their neighbors. The ritual was established as a mystical way of ensuring a bountiful harvest for the following year.* It’s the kind of haunting story you wish Alfred Hitchcock could have turned into a major motion picture starring Jimmy Stewart and Kim Novak.

*What’s wrong with a little sun and water you say? Fictional small town folk really do think up the craziest things.

How does Shirley Jackson’s tale compare to the NBA draft lottery held Tuesday night in the small village of Secaucus, NJ? It doesn’t. Not at all. In fact the only thing still decomposing in the Meadowlands are Jimmy Hoffa’s remains. Or perhaps David Kahn’s career as Minnesota Timberwolves general manager.

I’m happy that the Cleveland Cavaliers landed the #1 and #4 picks (Los Angeles Clippers what were you thinking?????). Maybe Kyrie Irving and some other frontline player – probably an unknown Euro 7 footer who is a cross between the next Dirk Nowitzki and Darko Milicic – will team up to help heal the city of Cleveland’s last remaining scars after Lebron’s “Decision”.

Overall, the NBA draft isn’t what it used to be because, in general, basketball players don’t stay in college long enough to build a little brand recognition with the average fan. Consequently, you have a bunch of kids entering the draft who very few people know or care about.

Of course, the NBA could switch things up a bit and model their lottery after the Shirley Jackson’s short story. Imagine a scenario where instead of receiving the 14th pick in the upcoming draft the last lottery team is relegated to the NBA Development League. Not to equate life in the D-League to being stoned to death by a group of innocent children but I think you get the point.

view from American Airlines Arena courtesy of @everyoneluvray

Lil Jon Wants Miami to Fan Up

May 12, 2011 by Jon

All hail the wonderful world of twitter!!! Only there can we experience game 5 of Heat/Celtics through the eyes of Crunk Rock impresario Lil Jon.* My only question for Mr. Jon, as part of the “fan up” initiative in Miami, did an American Airlines Arena staffer force you to wear white or was it a personal choice? Either way, the same color t shirt gimmick has officially been played out. I can deal with the white “noise” at Heat games but the light blue/aqua in Oklahoma City is enough to burn a massive hole in my retina.

*Yes dad, believe it or not, crunk rock is an actual musical genre. At least that’s what Wikipedia told me.

Perhaps the best news for the finely aged Boston Celtics, and the worst for Lebron and his amazing 4th quarter performance, is that now the “Tiger Woods withdrawing after 9 holes at the Players Championship” story will dominate national headlines until the magnitude of his latest apparent injury is revealed. At this point, how many of us still believe Tiger will ever regain the form to challenge Jack Nicklaus’ record of 18 majors?

view from American Airlines Arena courtesy of @LilJon

While You Were Sleeping

May 10, 2011 by Jon

What a big night for Maryland Terrapin basketball! First the university hires Mark Turgeon to replace Gary Williams and then Greivis Vasquez, he of recent Turtle fame, buries a three as time expires to send the Grizzlies into a second overtime against the Thunder. OKC would eventually outlast Memphis in 3 overtimes by a final score of 133-123 but by all accounts this was playoff basketball at its best.

Got to hand it to the Memphis crowd who braved the rising waters of the mighty Mississippi River to come out and support their Grizz. I made it as far as the 2nd quarter before falling off into dreamland.

Before you scold me for my lack of dedication to playoff basketball just understand that when you have a 3 month old, you take your sleep wherever you can find it. If it comes at the expense of Grizz/Thunder, so be it.

I’ll do my best to watch Game 5 on Wednesday, that is unless the game starts after 9pm and in that case all bets are off.

view from the FedEx Forum courtesy of @scottumsted

If You’re Happy and You Know It Clap Your Hands

May 5, 2011 by Jon

Spoiler Alert!!!! I’m about to go all old man rant on you. Continue reading if you have ever sat on a porch just waiting for a chance to yell at the neighborhood kids to keep their voices down while you finish your Sudoku.

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You know what really is starting to grind my gears about these NBA playoffs? The incessant hand slapping after free throws. Not only is it a time consuming proposition but it also seems to occur irregardless of whether or not the shot goes in. Last night after Joakim Noah shot a free throw he immediately received a cavalcade of congratulatory handshakes from teammates like Carlos Boozer and Luol Deng. I’m pretty sure one of the referees got in there for a butt slap as well. The way people were celebrating it was as if Joakim was running for public office.

And here’s the kicker, Noah missed that free throw by a good 10 inches. Sooooo, what are you celebrating exactly? I don’t mean to make this just about the Chicago Bulls because free throw hand slapping is everywhere in these playoffs and pretty soon it’s going to force me to watch something else like – gulp – the NHL Playoffs. (If only I could find Versus….)

E.K.G.A.T. Every Kid Gets A Trophy. E.K.G.A.T. It’s 50% of what’s wrong with organized sports and athletes in America today. (The other 50% are the parents who live vicariously through their kids. To steal a phrase from Charles Barkley, those folks are “turrible”.) The idea that young athletes are told how great they are, regardless of performance, rewards mediocrity and builds a damaging false sense of entitlement. Consequently we are developing a nation of young people who are unable to cope with stress or manage failure and who also grow up expecting instant gratification for simply doing their job. I see it every day in the workplace where more and more recent college graduates simply cannot function unless their performance is constantly being validated.

We must get back to learning to live with failure. Learning from mistakes, both physical and mental, is a crucial step in the development of personal and professional resiliency. If you’re looking to blame someone for the fragile mental state of our young athletes, blame Joakim Noah, he of the 10 second post free throw handshake routine.

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Enough old man ranting for today. Tomorrow I’ll be back to talk about cell phones and those darn pop musicians who wear their pants too low.

view from the Staples Center courtesy of @RJWilliams

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