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At the Intersection of Sports and Culture

Photo Credit for Header: Alex Foucre-Stimes

Lunch Break Basketball with J.J. Barea

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Not hard to imagine, seeing as how the diminutive Dallas backup point guard extraordinaire is often asked to show his credentials upon entering an NBA arena. Believe me, I’m not trying to pick on the 5’9″ Northeastern grad from Puerto Rico, the man has some serious “skeelz”, including showing no fear as he weaves his way through the giants sequoias en route to the basket. All I’m trying to say is that J.J., he of the fashionably metro beard from the little known land of Lilliput, could easily pass for a MD trying to fit in a quick game at the local Y between vasectomies at Columbia Presbyterian.

I’m sure Barea isn’t phased by all the confusion, at least I wouldn’t be if I were dating Miss Universe 2006. Last laugh’s on us I suppose.

Game 3 prediction: Mavs 92 Heat 88

view from American Airlines Center courtesy of @NBA

Wednesday Worries

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I’m worried that…

Dirk Nowitzki can’t carry the Mavericks to a series victory. Last night, the shots Dirk was hitting vs OKC weren’t falling and down the stretch, the Jason’s, Terry and Kidd, went into early hibernation mode. Now reports out of South Beach have Nowitzki playing with a torn ligament in his finger. Already down a game to the Heat, let the excuses begin!

Scottie Pippen was right.

traveling is no longer part of a NBA officials vernacular. I understand LeBron is a once in a generation athlete but even Jim Thorpe took less than 7 steps when driving to the basket.

I’m not paying enough attention to the Stanley Cup Finals between the Vancouver Canucks and the Boston Bruins. Two hockey hot cities longing for a championship. Unfortunately for the NHL, it’s June and the only ice I want to cozy up to is resting comfortably at the bottom of my mojita.

view from American Airlines Arena courtesy of @ngobrolNBA

 

 

Plodding the Previews: X-Men: First Class

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Some folks boast a photographic memory while others claim to count cards. Me, I have a strange telekinetic ability to predict the plot of a movie based solely on the coming attraction. I will channel these talents every week in an effort to breakdown the latest summer blockbuster. With a little luck, and patience, I’ll also attempt to connect the movie to a current sports story.

X-Men: First Class.

In the beginning…

I won’t claim to know the first thing about the comic book genealogy of either Professor Xavier, Magneto, or any other X-Men/X-Women. I come into First Class completely ignorant and blissfully unaware of what is “supposed” to happen. Therefore trust my impartiality and enjoy the honesty which is about to ensue. (Check out the X-Men: First Class preview here.)

And now, for a second by second recap

:15 sec mark – James McAvoy is Professor X but at this point we can call him “Charles”. Frankly, I question the choice of actor. McAvoy looks nothing like a young Patrick Stewart. Furthermore, he doesn’t come close to possessing nearly the same gravitas as the former captain of the USS Enterprise. McAvoy should stick to 19th century English period dramas where he falls in love with an married aristocratic woman played by either Keira Knightley or Angelina Jolie.

:20 – Lt. Archie Hickox will be playing Magneto. Michael Fassbender* was sort of a non entity until his star turning role in Inglorious Basterds. Two great scenes from Tarantino’s most original film since Pulp Fiction: 1) The opening sequence in the farm house. Christoph Waltz may have danced away with the Best Supporting Actor Oscar right there. Thanks to this scene I no longer accept Nazi interrogators looking for a glass of fresh milk into our house. 2) The shootout in the bar. Who knew Germans had a different way of signaling for “three”. I’ll be much more careful next time I grab a few steins at the Hofbrauhaus.

*I resisted the urge to look up “fassbender” on urban dictionary for fear it doesn’t mean what I had envisioned. In my mind, “fassbender”, pronounced “phaust – beendur” is a Bavarian boomerang used by Indiana Jones as he stole the Ark of the Covenant from the Nazis for the 3rd time.

1:12 – Is that the girl from Winter’s Bone? Is she naked? Wait, why is she turning blue? There are going to be a lot of disappointed fan boys out there if every time Jennifer Lawrence comes close to getting naked she goes all “rogue” on us and turns into some sort of scaly blue mutant. On second thought, probably not the best idea to try and play armchair psychologist to the millions of 35 year old men still living in their parents basement. For all we know, Rogue is like their version of Bar Refaeli.

1:20 – Whoa, Kevin Bacon! Playing either a politician or an evil industrialist. I figured he was done with major motion pictures after his star turning role in those Logitech ads.

1:23- Holy Cuban Missile Crisis! SPOILER ALERT!!! My prediction, it wasn’t RFK and the naval blockade that preserved peace after those Thirteen Days in October of 1962 but rather Magneto and his mutant ability to prevent nuclear weapons from detonating. I feel so misled. Here I was, for all these years, believing that Soviet Premier Nikita Khrushchev experienced an 11th hour change of heart and called off the Russia warships headed to Cuba when really the planet was saved by a Holocaust survivor with giant magnets for hands.

1:35 – Seeds of future animosity are brewing between best friends Charles and Eric. I think I know where this one is headed. Charles understands the positive impact the mutant race can have on human civilization and decides to build a school in upstate New York where younger mutants can come and learn how to channel their considerable powers and use them for the better good while Eric starts to brood and lose himself in self loathing. This can only lead to one thing…..the end of a friendship and the world!!!!

2:20 – Magneto and his helmet/cape combo are revealed along with this pivotal piece of dialogue:

Chuck X: “Listen my friend, killing will not bring you peace.”

Magnet Man: “Peace was never an option.”

Ohhhh, it is so on! This melodrama is followed by some Soviet rockets being fired from an aircraft carrier as still not evil Magneto stands in the middle of the Bay of Pigs with the fate of the world resting in his soon to be sinister hands. But, is he really evil or just misunderstood? I’m guessing there’s some ambiguity to the conclusion.

What does this all mean?

Since X-Men: First Class is a prequel we all pretty much know where the story is headed. But, I’ll give the film credit for an interesting cast and for adding an element of Cold War history. I just hope rising high school juniors don’t take this movie literally and head back to school in the fall believing that Magneto and Professor Xavier brought about the end of the Cold War. I don’t think our country could ever recover.

Connect the Dots

Look no further than Game 1 of the NBA Finals between the Dallas Mavericks and Miami Heat. Both Dirk Nowitzki and LeBron James have played like mutants these past few weeks. Will LBJ’s Magneto outlast Dirk’s Professor X? Probably would have been just as easy for me to call Dirk Magneto and Lebron Professor X but I’m facing a tremendous amount of pressure from the city of Cleveland to leave it as is. As far as predictions go, Mavs in 6. Nowitzki wins his first NBA championship and Germany celebrates by giving him his very own “phaust-beendur”.

The Tree of Life Will Make Your Memorial Day Weekend Much More Complex, Cosmic

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Trick question: there is no correct answer. As Terrence Malick would undoubtedly say, you must be comfortable living with ambiguity.* My dad bought us a beautiful Weber gas grill for our wedding a few years ago and we love the convenience/utility. Gas grills even make BBQing in the middle of a snow squall possible.

As for the flavor, a predictable defense of charcoal lovers, I don’t see anything wrong with a mild propane aftertaste. I usually mask the natural gas flavor with a few generous ounces of Frank’s Red Hot anyway so for a few less carcinogens I’m all on board the propane train.

In regards to the Heat closing out their series with the Bulls last night in Chicago, I’m disappointed but not surprised. My Windy City friends have already started to rationalize last night’s loss. To them, the Bulls were a year away anyway and won’t contend for a championship until they find another consistent perimeter scorer who can also defend. Free agent targets will include Jamal Crawford, JR Smith, or Jason Richardson. That is of course if we even have free agency this summer which. with the looming labor situation, is looking more and more unlikely.

*Here’s what bothers me about Malick’s latest “masterpiece”.  Critics are telling me that the film is supposed to be some sort of cosmic allegory for human existence with a dash of Oedipus on the side. My “artsy” friends are saying I shouldn’t even bother seeing the film because I probably wouldn’t understand the complexity or magnitude Malick’s semi-autobiographical opus anyway. Frankly, I don’t get what all the hoopla is all about. To be honest, I feel that I could have told you everything you needed to know about the movie after watching the preview. Maybe I’ll reserve final judgment until I actually see The Tree of Life but I shall remain skeptical for the time being.

view from the United Center courtesy of @LukeKosk

Wednesday Worries: White Out Edition

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I worry that….

the American Airlines Arena “white out” is leading to partial blindness in my left eye. It borders on seizure inducing. The creepiest part of this concept are the white sheets which they drape over the vacant courtside seats, giving the arena the appearance of being a cheaply designed champagne room in Reno, NV.

I have chest hair like Carlos Boozer. And here I was thinking that it was just a coincidence that I was always picked to be on the “shirts” team.

I run like Joey Crawford. Referee looks like a bald baby Tyrannosaurus Rex.

Derrick Rose is going to end up in a full body cast. He goes HARD to the basket every time he has the basketball – well if you don’t count the final two possessions of regulation last night. I’m just waiting for an inadvertent Joel Anthony elbow to end DRose’s series prematurely.

there is no correct way to pronounce the name “Joakim” and that I have never pronounced his name the same way twice.

Lebron James and Dwyane Wade are clearly the two best all around basketball players in this series. If this is the case, tough for the Bulls to come back from a 3-1 deficit which leads me to my next worry…

the Heat will go on to win 3 of the next 4 NBA Championships and James and Wade will go down as one of the most successful duos in basketball history right alongside…Kareem/Magic, Jordan/Pippen, and Sidney Deane/Billy Hoyle.

view from American Airlines Arena courtesy of @carmendefalco