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A View from Spring Training: 2011 Kansas City Royals

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2011 Kansas City Royals

2010 NFL Equivalent – Buffalo Bills: Passionate fan bases, small markets, and recent traditions filled with failures. These are the ties that bind. Each city also boasts a unique tailgating delicacy; Buffalo has the wing and Kansas City the BBQ. In recent years, the Bills have played a “home” game in Toronto. The Royal equivalent would be moving games out of Kauffman Stadium and into Cedar Rapids. (Side note: at what point does Ed Helms branch out and take on a new character? In Cedar Rapids, is he supposed to be playing Andy Bernard on a sales call to middle America?) Lastly, I have a few friends who remain die hard Bills fans while I have yet to meet one single person, outside of Rob Riggle, who still roots for the Royals. (Note: the only reason I went with Riggle here was so I could link to a video from the Catalina Wine Mixer. POW!!)

Google Search: The turnstiles at Kauffman Stadium were spinning this winter as the Kansas City front office gave the roster a thorough face lift. Some highlights include CF Melky Cabrera, RF Jeff Francoeur, and SP Jeff Francis.  If Cabrera is in shape, and that’s a big “if”, he is a serviceable major league outfielder while Francoeur boasts a rocket/laser arm and a complete inability to draw walks. Allegedly, the Royals have a very strong farm system and Ken Rosenthal went as far as to call them the “Rays Redux”. Rosenthal could be referring specifically to prospect outfielder Lorenzo Cain, who will push Cabrera for the starting CF job.  Going out on a limb, even if Cain doesn’t start on Opening Day, it sounds like the job will be his full-time by June.

Famous Movie Quote: Well, what if there is no tomorrow?  There wasn’t one today. – Phil Connors, Groundhog Day.

Royals fans have been through this before, unfortunately.  Rebuilding, retooling, refueling.  Whatever.  Alex Gordon was such a “Can’t Miss Prospect” at 3B that he has been moved to the outfield.  In a league where it seems that every team can hit, the Royals are woefully anemic on the mound.  Besides Francis and Kyle Davies, the rest of their starting staff will have to be cobbled together.  The Royals’ two best players from ’10—Zack Greinke and David DeJesus— are both gone.  This year, their best player is a closer, Joaquim Soria (formerly “The Mexecutioner”; no longer), who may only have the chance to close 2 games a week which means the Royals will most likely end up coin surfing in the cushions of the AL Central couch again this year. 2011 record: 66 – 96; 5th Place AL Central

view from Tempe Diablo Stadium courtesy of @HoltzyKC

View from Spring Training: 2011 Baltimore Orioles

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2011 Baltimore Orioles

2010 NFL Equivalent – San Francisco 49ers: Like their brethren from the Bay, the O-Birds have a rich championship tradition and loyal fan base.  But also like San Fran, it has been some time since Baltimore competed for a spot in the playoffs, let alone finished a season with a winning record. When manager Buck Showalter came aboard last July, the Orioles finished the 2010 season playing much better baseball and the 49ers are hoping that newly hired head coach Jim Harbaugh will have a similar effect on the team next fall.

Google Search: Their main offseason acquisitions: 3B Mark Reynolds, 1B Derrick Lee, DH Vladimir Guerrero and SS J.J. Hardy should all provide some much needed punch to the Oriole offense while new pitcher Kevin Gregg will be a candidate to close games.  Another interesting piece of winter news was that the Baltimore front office decided to raise single game ticket prices by an average of $3.  This seems like curious timing for a franchise that hasn’t raised prices since 2007 or had a winning season since 1996.  Camden Yards is too beautiful a park to leave empty or continue to see overrun by Yankees/Red Sox fans.

Famous Movie Quote: I’ll do what I can to help y’all. But, the game’s out there, and it’s play or get played. That simple. – Omar from “The Wire”.

Might not be a movie, but The Wire was filmed in Baltimore and is as captivating as anything projected across the big screen.  This quote sums up the 2011 Baltimore Orioles who need to look past the fact that they play in the AL East and convince their fans that, with the right combination of young starting pitching and an improved lineup, a division title isn’t out of the question.  Of course, w/roughly 40 games vs. Boston and New York, the playoffs might be a thing of the past. 2011 record: 82–80, 4th place AL East

view from Bright House Field courtesy of @D_Stro

View From Spring Training: 2011 Arizona Diamondbacks

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2011 Arizona Diamondbacks

NFL Equivalent – Carolina Panthers: Both teams are lost, mired in small market underperformance, and there is no real suggestion that they will be finding themselves anytime soon. The D’backs, like the Panthers, have some tremendous offensive talent. Justin Upton and Chris Young are comparable to Steve Smith and Jonathan Stewart. Like Carolina, the Diamondbacks are struggling to find a helmsman for the ship, firing their GM (and Haverford College Alumnus) Josh Byrnes mid season in 2010 as the Panthers parted ways with longtime head coach John Fox at the end of last season.

Google Search: Frankly I’m surprised that Upton is still around. Rumors swirled all offseason about a move, as Kevin Towers contemplated total explosion for the sake of rebuilding. A team that was once known for having a stable of excellent front line starters (Dan Haren, Brandon Webb, and even the blossoming Max Scherzer) are now likely to trot out the likes of Joe Saunders, Daniel Hudson, and Ian Kennedy. Yikes. Give the Arizona front office a break, at least they are in the process of  installing solar panels at Chase Field.

Famous Movie Quote: You know your problem? You don’t like winners. – Otto from A Fish Called Wanda

This quote applies to the 2011 incarnation of the Diamondbacks for two great reasons. First, the Arizona squad will not like winners because they won’t be winners this season. In an NL West populated World Series Champs and upstart contenders, the young, inexperienced D’backs will struggle to reach .500. Secondly, A Fish Called Wanda came out in 1988, the same year current Arizona manager Kirk Gibson hit his famous World Series home run against the Oakland A’s. While on the subject of great comedies from the late 80’s, what has happened to Ricky Vaughn? A return to the California Penal League has become a distinct possibility once again. 2011 record: 64-98, 5th place NL West

view from Salt River Fields courtesy of @maxhollister

View from Spring Training: 2011 Seattle Mariners

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2011 Seattle Mariners

NFL Equivalent – Tampa Bay Buccaneers: This one was a bit of a stretch. About all I could come up with is that the star of each team, Josh Freeman for Tampa Bay and Felix Hernandez for Seattle, have hair styles somewhat similar to Eriq La Salle in Coming to America. This and the owner of the Bucs, Malcolm Glazer, also owns Manchester United of the EPL while the Mariners are owned by Nintendo. So there you have it.  Neither team has had all that much success in recent years, although Tampa Bay did win the Super Bowl in 2002 while Seattle won an MLB best 116 games in 2001.

Google Search: The biggest news out of Safeco this past winter was that the Seattle front office decided not to trade the 2010 Cy Young award winning P Felix Hernandez to the Yankees. Good for the Mariners, and good for baseball. Let New York deal with a rotation of Bartolo Colon, AJ Burnett, and Freddy Garcia for at least one season.

Famous Movie Quote: “After very careful consideration, sir, I’ve come to the conclusion that your new defense system sucks.” – General Berenger from WarGames.

This quote makes perfect sense when you think about how inept the Seattle Mariners offense was during the 2010 campaign. They were last in the league in runs scored per game at 3.2 and had the 14th highest salary in all of MLB at $86.5 million. Not exactly a lot of bang for your buck, kind of like spending billions on a new missile defense system operated by a large computer called “Whopper”. The only question for the 2011 Mariners is, will Ichiro Suzuki, who is now 37 years old, reach 3000 career hits in a Seattle uniform? He’s got a long way to go but I wanted to give Mariner fans at least a glimmer of hope. 2011 record: 72-90, 4th in AL West

view from Peoria Stadium courtesy of @sportsbrain

View from Spring Training: 2011 Pittsburgh Pirates

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2011 Pittsburgh Pirates

NFL Equivalent: Detroit Lions – There was really no other play here. Like the Lions, the Pittsburgh Pirates are an ongoing exercise in professional sports futility. 2010 marked the 18th straight losing season for Pittsburgh and a 57-105 record was their worst since the Truman presidency.  With QB Matthew Stafford and DT Ndamukong Suh, Detroit could be headed for a renaissance in 2011, that is if there is in fact an NFL season. For the Pirates, the future is just as foggy.

Google Search: If you’re a fan of the Pirates, how do you have any confidence in your organization once it was revealed that your ownership has been skimming off the top for the past few fiscal calendars. The roster does have a stable of young, all star caliber players in 3B Pedro Alvarez, 2B, Neil Walker, and CF Andrew McCutchen, but if ownership is unwilling to spend the Yankees and Red Sox money on future free agents, that young nucleus will go on to star in some other city.

Famous Movie Quote: “Come on, fellas. Rome wasn’t built in a day.” – Coach Morris Buttermaker from The Bad News Bears.

As I was looking for quotes from The Bad News Bears, I realized that more than half of the one liners from this ’70s classic are now way too inappropriate to republish.  Even still, the 2011 Pittsburgh Pirates are the closest thing we have to the Chico’s Bail Bonds sponsered Bears. The problem for the Bucs will once again be their pitching, hitting and defense. When you can’t throw strikes, put the ball in play or keep the ball from trickling between your legs you know you are destined for your 19th straight losing season in a row. Sorry Pittsburgh, at least your city is a desirable place to live. 2011 record: 64-98, 6th in NL Central

View from McKechnie Field courtesy of @xMusicSnob99x