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At the Intersection of Sports and Culture

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View from Spring Training: 2011 Oakland Athletics

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2011 Oakland Athletics

NFL Equivalent – Kansas City Chiefs: Back when I played college baseball, I loathed opposing teams and players that wore white spikes. To me, there was always something pompous about the look, like that player was trying to say that they thought they’re better than you. And you know what, players that wear white spikes are usually all flash and no substance. As far as I can tell, the Oakland A’s are the only MLB team whose players all wear white spikes.  The Kansas City Chiefs wear white cleats as well, but in the NFL it is not as much of an anomaly.

Google Search: The bay was brimming with activity this winter. The A’s signed/traded for solid MLB outfielders Hideki Matsui, Josh Willingham, and David DeJesus. They also added relievers Brian Fuentes and Grant Balfour to their bullpen. On a completely serious note, the club recently announced a fundraiser to take place during their season opening series against Seattle where all proceeds will go towards supporting relief efforts in Japan after the devastating earthquake rocked the country this past weekend.

Famous Movie Quote: Pollution. Crime. Drugs, poverty, disease, hunger, despair – we throw GOBS of money at them and problems only get worse. Why is that? Because money’s most powerful ability is to allow bad people to continue doing bad things at the expense of those who don’t have it. – Ben Kingsley from Sneakers

The Oakland A’s and GM Billy Beane pride themselves on finding innovative ways to stretch the almighty dollar. When you’re a small market team, like the A’s, you must learn to be creative in order to keep up with the big spenders. I never read Moneyball by Michael Lewis – sacrilegious I know – nor do I have any interest in seeing Brad Pitt strut around as Beane in the movie version this summer. My only hope is that the producers found someone like “Stone Cold” Steve Austin to play the role of the Kevin “The Greek God of Walks” Youkilis. Only then would I pay to see this film. 2011 prediction: 84-78, 2nd place in AL West

view from Phoenix Municipal Stadium courtesy of @djmccormack3

View from Spring Training: 2011 Florida Marlins

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2011 Florida Marlins

NFL Equivalent – Minnesota Vikings: This comparison would work perfectly if the Minnesota taxpayers would finally pony up and agree to finance a new stadium.  As it is, both of these teams currently play in antiquated, potentially-hazardous football stadiums.  South Florida’s daily late afternoon rain squalls have nothing on Minneapolis’s roof collapses and falling debris.  The Marlins will finally be moving into a new building in 2012, right smack dab in the middle of Miami’s Little Havana neighborhood.  Both the Marlins and Vikings are young, with very exciting. combustible players where it matters most.

Google Search: Gone is franchise leader in home runs, 2B Dan Uggla, who was traded to division rival Atlanta after last season.  In his place, the Marlins have brought in 2010 All-Star 2B Omar Infante.  Slotted into the third slot in the rotation is SP Javier Vasquez, who has performed in every city he’s played that doesn’t rhyme with Blue Pork.  C John Buck will call the pitches for a very promising young staff, who will rely on his veteran leadership to keep an even keel.

Famous Movie Quote: I am a star. I’m a star, I’m a star, I’m a star. I am a big, bright, shining star. That’s right. –Dirk Diggler, Boogie Nights.

When a perennial all-star is left to put up huge numbers in anonymity, it falls to him to remind himself that he really is the goods.  Standing in front of a mirror, Dirk Diggler, an up-and-comer in the adult film business, affirms that he has what it takes.  If his fan base and the media have already written him off, Hanley Ramirez needs to enter this season with the self-confidence required of someone who can carry a franchise.  You ARE a star, Hanley!  Ramirez will be looking to his bat to mend the strained relationships that developed with then-manager Fredi Gonzalez and Marlin fans.  Young players OF Mike Stanton, OF Logan Morrison, and 1B Gaby Sanchez will take their cues from Ramirez.  As these four go, so will go the Fish.  SP Josh Johnson will continue to be one of the best young arms in the National League, and will challenge the 20-win threshold yet again. 2011 prediction: 82-80; 3rd Place NL East

View from Spring Training: 2011 Los Angeles Dodgers

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2011 Los Angeles Dodgers

NFL Equivalent – Chicago Bears: When it’s not your team, tradition can be such an annoying word.  Franchises either have it or don’t. Those that do, wave it in front of those that don’t like it is some sort of VIP all access pass to the Bada Bing. The Bears and Dodgers have it, Phoenix Coyotes…not so much. In general, Bears and Dodgers fans are a palatable sort. Each appreciate their rich history and follow their team with intense passion and knowledge. Also don’t look past the uniforms. LA and Chicago have remained on the cutting edge of fashion even though they haven’t changed their styles in over 50 years.

Google Search: Divorce is never a pretty proposition, especially when every trial and tribulation is splashed across the ESPN bottomline. This would be the case for Frank and Jamie McCourt, “co-owners” of the LA Dodgers. For the second year in a row, the ownership tumult threatens to overshadow any on the field accomplishments. The Dodgers have changed managers with Don Mattingly finally replacing Joe Torre. I say finally because Mattingly was rumored to succeed Torre going back to their days together with the New York Knights.

Famous Movie Quote: There’s a real big gap between getting your ass kicked and having a dancing, singing sprite fool you with trickery and then strike your throat before you even know you’re in a fight. But I wouldn’t expect someone like you to understand that, because all you do is make moves from up in your ivory tower. – Vince Vaughn from The Break-Up

Talk about a disappointing movie. The Break-Up had all the ingredients, Vince Vaughn in his comedic prime and Jennifer Aniston at the peak of her post-Friends cougar hotness. But somehow, the movie failed to live up to these lofty expectations, perhaps because it went the “dramedy” route instead of cashing in with a full fledged slapstick side splitter. My wife and I were only dating when we saw the film and it was so depressing that it caused us to reevaluate our entire relationship. With the ongoing McCourt soap opera, the Dodgers could be headed for a depressing break-up of their own. 2011 prediction: 83-79, 3rd place NL West

view from Phoenix Municipal Stadium courtesy of @sirdk1

View from Spring Training: 2011 Los Angeles Angels

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2011 Los Angeles Angels

NFL Equivalent – Indianapolis Colts: What position would Peyton Manning play if he were a MLB star? My first instinct says starting pitcher because of the arm strength and physical stature, not to mention the preparation that goes into taking the mound every five games. Manning would however drive his catcher and pitching coach absolutely bonkers with the way he obsesses over scouting reports and opposing player tendencies. One potential issue for fans, with the way Peyton likes to run the play clock down we could very well be looking at a 4 hour baseball game every time he takes the mound. With his lethargic, meticulous pace Manning should probably play for the Yankees and become best friends with Derek Jeter.

Google Search: This was supposed be the winter where the Angels opened up their wallets and landed a slew of high priced free agents. They offered Carl Crawford big time money to return home to SoCal, but not as much as the Red Sox. They were willing to pay Cliff Lee as well but he chose a much more comfortable living situation in Philadelphia. These two failed attempts to land a high powered, impact player forced Angels management to trade for a has-been high powered, impact player in Vernon Wells.  Canada hasn’t been this relieved since their men’s curling team won Olympic gold in 2010.

Famous Movie Quote: I’m sorry, did I break your concentration? I didn’t mean to do that. Please, continue, you were saying something about best intentions. What’s the matter? Oh, you were finished! Well, allow me to retort. What does Marsellus Wallace look like? – Jules from Pulp Fiction

Where do cinema snobs rank Pulp Fiction in the pantheon of Quentin Tarantino films?  Personally, I would put it right behind Inglorious Basterds but well ahead of Jackie Brown. It is amazing to think about the careers which were resurrected/preserved by this film, most notably John Travolta and Bruce Willis. Without Pulp Fiction, Travolta would be working on Look Who’s Talking 8: That Bird Can Sing! while Willis would have just completed Hudson Hawk Drowns in the Hudson River. The Angels are hoping Vernon Wells enjoys a similar resurgence this season.  Even still, the Angels will have to fight hard not to become yesterday’s news. 2011 record: 84-78, 2nd in AL West

view from Tempe Diablo Stadium courtesy of @heatherdettmann

View from Spring Training: 2011 New York Mets

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2011 New York Mets

NFL Equivalent – Washington Redskins: At first glance, you’re looking at two organizations with histories of success and deep pockets.  Until you open the books and recognize that at the center of this comparison are two organizations with “questionable” business practices.  The Skins threw upwards of $100 million at DT Albert Haynesworth to do virtually nothing except not complete shuttle runs.  The Amazins, on the other hand, did nothing, and somehow were thrown hundreds of millions of dollars from Bernard Madoff.  And only the Mets could possibly top the Haynesworth signing with their history of fiscal irresponsibility.  Tom Seaver, Nolan Ryan, Kevin Mitchell?  Gone.  Vince Coleman, Bobby Bonilla, Mo Vaughn…Oliver Perez?  In you come!  Oh, and both fan bases absolutely loathe their teams’ lovely ownership groups.

Google Search: I think my Internets are broken!  According to them, the Mets did absolutely nothing this winter.  That can’t possibly be right… can it?  I suppose out of obligation, I should note that they did sign pitchers Chris Young, Chris Capuano, and Taylor Buchholz.  They also acquired a new RF in the guy that is now wearing CF Carlos Beltran’s #15 jersey.  Most of the news coming out of Flushing this winter had to do with the ongoing financial scandal involving the Wilpons and public enemy #1. And just today, the New York Times reports that the Mets organization was running low on cash well before this recent lawsuit was filed.

Famous Movie Quote: Right after I got here, I ordered some spaghetti with marinara sauce and I got egg noodles and ketchup. I’m an average nobody. I get to live the rest of my life like a schnook. –Henry Hill, Goodfellas.

What happened to my team!  Like Ray Liotta in Goodfellas, Met fans (and I) have been relegated to the Witness Protection Program.  Even when we were in the prison of the mid 1990s, we were still eating better than this.  A few years ago, when 3B David Wright and SS Jose Reyes were barely formed meteors and SP Johan Santana and CF Beltran were the best in baseball, the sky was the limit.  Back then, we thoughtlessly expected a nice Fettucine Carbonara every night.  Alas, even before we sit down at the table this Spring, we already know that the Wilpons are dishing out the Heinz special.  And when the bill comes, we already know what it will say $25 million and 5 years of open market purgatory. 2011 record: 77 – 85; 4th Place NL East 

view from Digital Domain Park courtesy of @spearsiela