Patriots 23 Ravens 20 – New England dodged a bullet, maybe two, on route to Indianapolis. First Lee Evans fails to secure what would have been the game winning touchdown and then Baltimore kicker Billy Cundiff misses the tying field goal, making us all instantly forget about Scott Norwood. Joe Flacco proved to be much more capable than Ed Reed expected while Tom Brady kind of played like a guy worried about how he was going to regulate the temperature in his new 22,000 square feet mansion. Although, it’s tough to give the Ravens QB too much credit when most smartphones continue to autocorrect his last name to “Flaccid”.

And as a Patriots fan I’ll be happy to never see Bernard Pollard again. First Brady. Then Welker. And now today Gronkowski. That man must have a personal vendetta against the entire Kraft family. Either that or he collects ACL’s like Lt. Aldo Raine collects scalps. If I’m Bill Belichick I assign a member of my coaching staff to scout out the Lucas Oil Stadium parking lot just in case Pollard is hiding behind Peyton Manning’s burnt orange Ford F-150 waiting to lunge at Aaron Hernandez with a tire iron.

Speaking of Indianapolis, it would have been a nice story if the Baltimore Football Team of Today would have had a chance to play for a Super Bowl Championship in the city that stole the Baltimore Football Team of Yesteryear. How many shots of the Mayflower trucks pulling out of Colts headquarters would we have had to endure? Alas, as @sethmeyers21 points out, probably an unhealthy number of National Bohemian’s being consumed tonight down by the docks in Baltimore harbor.

Giants 20 49ers 17 – Somebody needs to explain why it looked so dark on the Candlestick Park field. Did they borrow a set of portable lights from a local high school? Did Jed York forget to pay his electrical bill? Forgot about the wet weather, as a receiver it must be next to impossible to catch a ball when it’s being thrown down a dimly lit alley. Maybe that’s why the game was decided on special teams.

My favorite part of the game came during the first half when Eli Manning was caught off guard then broke into an Irish jig. Those dance moves will come in handy when older brother Peyton shows him around the best juke joints central Indiana has to offer. I bet you Cooper Manning knows how to twirl a glow stick.

 

 

 

 

My good buddy Lucas reminded me that yesterday was the 10 year anniversary of the “Tuck Rule Game” otherwise known as “the day when I officially became a New England Patriots fan”. You see, I was an NFL orphan, having been abandoned by Dan Marino and the Miami Dolphins at the end of the 1999 season. A decade ago, as an impressionable college senior in the middle of nowhere Maine, I was surrounded by a bunch of Patriot lifers who graciously accepted my into their then modest fraternity as one of their own.

Now just to be clear, I am willing to compromise my already tenuous hold on the Patriot Way by telling you that if it weren’t for the 3 Super Bowls and Tom Brady I probably would have already moved on to another team like, gulp, maybe even the Baltimore Ravens. But on this, the 3,651 day since Charles Woodson DID NOT cause a Tom Brady fumble, I’m proud to say that I continue to support Pat the Patriot. That is until the Miami Dolphins trade up to draft RGIII and I bound up the attic staircase to dust off the old teal and white #13 jersey.

NEW ENGLAND (-6) over Baltimore – As a Pats fan, this is going to sound crazy but I kinda hope Joe Flacco plays well on Sunday, even if it means the game is going to be much closer than it would have been otherwise. I just can’t stand to hear anymore criticism, either from the media or his teammates, especially when he has led his team to the playoffs each of his first 4 years in the league. The Baltimore media is so Ravens crazy right now that they have started to pursue a story regarding Flacco skateboarding in his driveway over the bye week like it was some sort of egregious breach of contract. The Sun and WBAL should be directing more of their venom towards the Orioles and the problems they’re having bringing star players back for the team’s FanFest this weekend. Oh that’s right, I forgot the Birds are all but dead to the Charm City this, or any, time of the year anyway. Sigh

San Francisco (-2.5) over NY GIANTS –  As Mike Francesa says, it’s been “monsooning” all week long in the Bay Area. Which team benefits from the sloppy conditions, depends on who you ask. I say it’s a complete wash and this game goes down to the final possession. The reason I’m picking the Niners is because otherwise I’ll have “Occupy Tyree” and prevent the former Giants WR from giving any interviews over the two weeks leading up to the Super Bowl in Indianapolis. Some pain is just impossible to overcome.

view from The Razor courtesy of @MikeReiss