Without the West Coast there would be no Vin Scully. I wasn’t born when the Dodgers played in Brooklyn but I’m alive today and thankfully so for otherwise my eyes and ears would mourn the absence of baseball. Pacific Standard style. With the crashing surf of the Atlantic Ocean bellowing in the distance, I peacefully drift to sleep with the symphonic melody of America’s Pastime cascading over deserts, mountains, rivers and time zones until finally arriving at it’s final destination. In my wildest dreams could I envision a better cure for insomnia. Nightmares be wary, there are Angels between these ears. Giants and Mariners too. Alphabets and Oakland may begin with A’s but my nights end with Zzzzzz. My father taught me well. Now these Padres help me sleep. Manifest Destiny meets the major leagues. Until another dawn. Until another day. With gratitude. To West Coast baseball.
NBA Watchability Index for Parents: January 23, 2015
5 Baby Bottles (Watch Those Little Eyes Glaze Over)
Oklahoma City Thunder @ Atlanta Hawks (7:30 PM)
This is such an interesting game for both teams. The Hawks, riding a 14 game win streak and the second best record in the NBA, are still competing for the respect of basketball fans who doubt the long term legitimacy of this Atlanta team. A win against the Thunder, a perceived Western Conference power, would go a long way towards validating the Hawks already impressive resume. For OKC, this game is a chance to show the league that when healthy they are amongst the NBA’s best. Plus, with LaMarcus Aldridge’s injury for Portland first place in the Northwest division no longer seems like an insurmountable task for the hard charging Thunder.
4 Baby Bottles (Must Keep Head In Upright Position)
Charlotte Hornets @ Cleveland Cavaliers (7:30 PM)
The Hornets and Cavs are the two hottest teams in the Eastern Conference not named the Atlanta Hawks. Also, how long into this game before LeBron starts defending Kemba Walker?
Chicago Bulls @ Dallas Mavericks (8:00 PM)
Houston Rockets @ Phoenix Suns (9:00 PM)
3 Baby Bottles (Just A Quick Swaddle & Rock)
Orlando Magic @ New York Knicks
Great read in today’s New York Times on Knicks journeyman center Lou Amundson. Who knew that he and some guys names Langston Galloway and Lance Thomas would be the saviors of the 2014-15 New York Knicks season?
2 Baby Bottles (Burp It Out)
Toronto Raptors @ Philadelphia 76ers (7:00 PM)
The Raptors have not been playing good basketball for the past few weeks which would normally be a big problem if it weren’t for the general ineptitude and malaise of all the other teams in the Atlantic division. It’s not even February and Toronto is all but assured a top-3 seed in the playoffs.
New Orleans Pelicans @ Minnesota Timberwolves (8:00 PM)
Los Angeles Lakers @ San Antonio Spurs (8:30 PM)
Boston Celtics @ Denver Nuggets (9:00 PM)
Sacramento Kings @ Golden State Warriors (10:30 PM)
1 Baby Bottle (Only During An Emergency Diaper Change)
Indiana Pacers @ Miami Heat (7:30 PM)
The game of the night during either of the previous two seasons.
The NBA Watchability Index for Parents: January 20, 2015
My son has a cold which would only be news if he didn’t have a cold. It is winter after all and my wife and I often lament the fact that we did not buy stock in Kleenex this past fall. At night I must spend 10 solid minutes picking up balled up, snot covered pieces of tissue. I guess I probably shouldn’t complain all that much because as we parents know the alternative to tissue is our clothing and I unfortunately have dress shirts that are starting to resemble art projects.
5 Baby Bottles (Watch Those Little Eyes Glaze Over)
No Games
4 Baby Bottles (Must Keep Head In Upright Position)
No Games
3 Baby Bottles (Just A Quick Swaddle & Rock)
Oklahoma City Thunder @ Miami Heat (7:30)
Light night in the NBA after yesterday’s MLK Day smorgasborg. In case you missed it, here are a few of the highlights from yesterday’s holiday action:
-The Cavs beat the Bulls in Chicago for their third win in a row and now the Bulls are acting like the team suddenly up against the ropes. The normally soft spoken, reserved Derrick Rose came out after the game and said that the Bulls need to give “a better effort” and start “communicating” with one another which could justbe code for ‘I’m frustrated with myself because I shot 5-14 from the field and am no longer my team’s primary option on offense’. Either way, no team grinds/maximizing their talent like Chicago so it is slightly concerning when the starting point guard calls into question the team’s effort.
-The Knicks won a basketball game which means the New York Times can finally bring back their Knicks beat reporter who just finished spending a few relaxing weeks in Manitoba, Canada covering a rousing game of H-O-R-S-E between an Inuit boy named Barry and a three legged moose.
-The Hawks won again. That’s 13 in a row.
-So to did the Warriors, who are 9-1 in their last 10.
-An Atlanta/Dubs NBA Finals won’t knock Main Street America’s socks off but to hardcore basketball aficionados it would border on a motion offense wet dream. I’m already excited thinking about the matchup between Al Horford and Draymond Green.
-The Suns beat the Lakers and refuse to give up any ground to the Thunder in the chase for the 8th seed out West. Heck, at this rate Phoenix has more than a realistic chance of catching the Spurs for the 7th spot.
-And finally, Joel Embiid may or may not be 300 pounds.
2 Baby Bottles (Burp It Out)
San Antonio Spurs @ Denver Nuggets (9:00)
1 Baby Bottle (Only During An Emergency Diaper Change)
No Games
NBA Watchability Index for Parents: January 16, 2015
Waiting for your baby to burp after feeding is a lot like waiting for a volcano to erupt after an earthquake. In both cases, it’s only a matter of time before the vile lava spewed from deep inside the core forces local residents to seek shelter. Your best bet is to be prepared with several layers of protective clothing and hope that the hot magna passes you by without leaving behind third degree burns.
5 Baby Bottles (Watch Those Little Eyes Glaze Over)
Atlanta Hawks @ Toronto Raptors (7:30)
Dare I say a preview of the Eastern Conference Finals? If before the season you had said that on January 16th the Hawks and Raptors would have the two best records in the East people would have looked at you like you just announced that you were closing all Targets in Canada.
4 Baby Bottles (Must Keep Head In Upright Position)
Golden State Warriors @ Oklahoma City Thunder (8:00)
Dare I say a preview of the first round of the Western Conference playoffs? If before the season you had said that on January 16th the Warriors would have the best record in basketball while the Thunder were in serious jeopardy of missing the playoffs people would have looked at you like you might potentially trade for Brook Lopez.
Portland Trail Blazers @ San Antonio Spurs (8:30)
He doesn’t know this yet but when his career is over Matt Bonner and I are going to get to work on a biography titled Live Free or Red Mamba: Ballin Hard in the Granite State.
Cleveland Cavaliers @ Los Angeles Clippers (10:30)
People are making a big deal about Doc Rivers trading for his son Austin but if you were the general manager/head coach of a NBA team wouldn’t you want your kid playing for you? The NBA is a little different than little league baseball but still, it’s going to be nice for Doc and his wife to tuck their son into bed at night.
3 Baby Bottles (Just A Quick Swaddle & Rock)
Memphis Grizzlies @ Orlando Magic (7:00)
Zach Lowe needs to tell us why Victor Oladipo can’t turn into a Jimmy Butler type player?
Detroit Pistons @ Indiana Pacers (7:00)
A mid season battle for the 8th and final Eastern Conference playoff spot.
Denver Nuggets @ Dallas Mavericks (8:30)
2 Baby Bottles (Burp It Out)
New Orleans Pelicans @ Philadelphia 76ers (7:00)
Brooklyn Nets @ Washington Wizards (7:00)
It makes total sense for Mikhail Prokhorov to sell the Nets when the Russian oligarch can probably fetch upwards of 2 billion dollars for his majority stake in the franchise and arena. And judging from the ongoing collapse of the Russian economy the mineral magnate is going to need all the rubles he can get his hands on.
Chicago Bulls @ Boston Celtics (7:30)
Minnesota Timberwolves @ Phoenix Suns (9:00)
What if the Cavs offered Kevin Love back to the Timberwolves in return for Andrew Wiggins? Who blinks first?
1 Baby Bottle (Only During An Emergency Diaper Change)
Los Angeles Lakers @ Utah Jazz (9:00)
Kobe dropped a career high 17 assists last night in the Lakers’ loss to the Cavs. Proof positive to all you haters out there giving him crap for shooting the ball too much that it doesn’t matter what stat Kobe stuffs, the Lakers are not a good basketball team.
Miami Heat @ Sacramento Kings (10:00)
What ever happened to the Kings playing only 4 guys on defense?
Have a happy weekend!!!
NBA Watchability Index For Parents: January 15, 2015
Infants are not all affected by sound the same way. Case in point, when our oldest son was a baby he would wake up every time my wife or I would walk to the bathroom. (I blame the creaky floorboards as much as anything.) With our second kid, to steal a line from Christmas Vacation, you can drive a “dump truck through a nitroglycerine plant” and not disturb him from his slumber. (Don’t worry, his hearing checks out just fine.) We’ve been told that this is nothing more than a case of ‘second child syndrome’ whereas unlike with your first, baby #2 has an innate understanding of their place in the pecking order and how as parents our attention is rarely undivided. This will most likely change once they morph into sulky adolescents but until that time it’s nice to know that I can urinate without fear of causing a nuclear meltdown.
5 Baby Bottles (Watch Those Little Eyes Glaze Over)
Oklahoma City Thunder @ Houston Rockets (8:00 PM)
We are all waiting for the Thunder to turn it on here as they’re in desperate need of a big push during the second half of the season to make it into the playoffs.
4 Baby Bottles (Must Keep Head In Upright Position)
Cleveland Cavaliers @ Los Angeles Lakers (10:30 PM)
It’s been noted before that famed NBA newsbreaker Adrian Wojnarowski has a complicated history with LeBron James. Therefore it may not be all that surprising that the picture painted in Woj’s latest column on the Cavs does not portray James, or his camp of close friends and advisors, in the most positive of lights. The basic gist of the column is reasonable enough which is that LeBron needs to start acting like the leader he sold himself as upon returning to Cleveland. Fair point. We all saw with Miami what kind of transcendent leader LeBron can be and he clearly looks disenchanted with what is going on with this Cavs team right now. However, 1) body language is not always an accurate indicator of team chemistry and 2) the rest of this Cavs team might not be all that good. Wojnarowski touches on this second point writing that the roster has improved with the additions of Mozgov, Smith and Shumpert. Still, as Kevin Love and Kyrie Irving demonstrated when LeBron was off chillaxing in South Beach and JerryWorld, the promise of another Big Three might be more hype than substance and it all starts on the defensive end where unless the Cavs can’t start playing as a cohesive unit (LeBron deserves much of the blame here too) then it really doesn’t matter how many points they score.
3 Baby Bottles (Just A Quick Swaddle & Rock)
New York Knicks @ Milwaukee Bucks (3:00 PM)
Do we know why this game is being played at 3 o’clock in the afternoon? Is there some kind of rally for the Packers before they catch their flight to Seattle that we don’t know about? (London!!!! That makes total sense seeing as the NBA’s expansion into Europe has always been much more plausible than the NFL’s given basketball’s European roots.)
2 Baby Bottles (Burp It Out)
No Games
1 Baby Bottle (Only During An Emergency Diaper Change)
No Games
Bonus Baby Bottle (Because You’re A Generous, Benevalent Soul)
College Basketball: Nebraska @ Wisconsin (9:00 PM)
The Badgers will be without starting point guard Traevon Jackson until March but should still have enough depth to win the BIgTen and garner a top seed come tourney time. Plus with Frank “The Big Sleepy” Kaminsky back tonight from an apparent concussion this game is bound to feature boatloads of 3 point attempts from gangly looking yet incredibly skilled tall white guys. In other words, just your typical night of college basketball in Madtown.
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