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Just Another Typical, Run of the Mill NFL Preview: NFC South

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From here on out until the start of the NFL regular season on Thursday September, 8th, VMS will be offering quick overviews of each division, one NFC and one AFC per week. First up, the NFC South (*denotes playoff team)

NFC South

Champs: New Orleans Saints* – Mark Ingram stabilizes the running game while Drew Brees and the passing attack continue to throw lots and lots of beads at the Superdome faithful.

On Deck (next up): Atlanta Falcons* – Last years NFC South champs are in now or nothing mode, which explains why they would trade away 5 future draft picks in order to select Julio Jones this year, especially when the Falcons are presumably already loaded at the wide receiver position. Also, can we please come up with a different nickname for Matt Ryan?

Limbo (neither up nor down; stuck in between): Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Tough, veteran centric division for this young, hungry Bucs team to break through against. Really looking forward to Josh Freeman unleashing his soul glow in South Florida again this season.

Chumps: Carolina Panthers – Ron Rivera please do your fans a favor by starting quarterback, and #1 overall draft pick, Cam Newton. Greater Charlotte simply should not be subjected to a single series of either the dour Jimmy Clausen or lethargic Derek Anderson. At least Newton will make exciting mistakes.

Fantasy Sleepers: Harry Douglass (WR-Atlanta), Josh Freeman (QB-Tampa Bay), Greg Olsen (TE – Carolina)

Ready for Primetime Games: 9/8 New Orleans @ Green Bay, 9/18 Philadelphia @ Atlanta, 10/9 Green Bay @ Atlanta, 10/16 New Orleans @ Tampa Bay, 12/26 Atlanta @ New Orleans

view from Bucs training camp courtesy of @stevecarney

Using Twitter to Determine the Best Baseballers in all the Land

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In honor of recently demoted/budding baseball superstar Logan Morrison, and his esteemed twitter alter-ego @LoMoMarlins, we have compiled a list of the MLB players with the highest number of twitter followers by position and then gauged whether or not these totals are commensurate with their personality/on field baseball ability. Big thanks to the aggregators over at Tweeting-Athletes.com for giving our neural-net processors a big timeout.

Starting Pitcher – CC Sabathia (New York Yankees, 137311 followers): Sabathia’s popularity makes sense, he is after all one of the leading contenders for the AL Cy Young award this season. Also, overstuffed athletes always resonate well with fans probably because they remind many Americans of themselves.

Catcher – Russell Martin (New York Yankees, 49560): Here we have a classic case of big market ballot stuffing. Sure, Martin is enjoying somewhat of a career renaissance during his first year in the Bronx but he should not be the most popular catcher on twitter. If Joe Mauer’s parents allowed him to but that cellphone last Christmas we wouldn’t even be having this conversation.

First Baseman – Mark Teixiera (New York Yankees, 80860): Same song and dance as before. I’m starting to wonder whether or not people from outside of NYC even have access to social media. Where’s my coast to coast publicly financed WIFI umbrella President Obama?

Second Baseman – Brandon Phillips (Cincinnati Reds, 135358): DatDudeBP engages his followers like no other, often times asking them where he should go for good Mexican food in Atlanta. If you play your cards right, he may even offer to pick up the tab on your $2 burrito as well.

Third Baseman – Evan Longoria (Tampa Bay Rays, 56224): Would it help or hurt Longoria’s twitter credibility if he talked more openly about being the once proud owner of an AK-47?

Shortstop – Jimmy Rollins (Philadelphia Phillies, 45672): I wonder if it’s going to be super awkward for Rollins when the Phillies sign Jose Reyes to take over at shortstop in 2012. Good luck attracting 40K followers in Seattle next season.

OF – Nick Swisher (New York Yankees, 1365390): What a rascal that Nick Swisher. Always so darn happy to be playing baseball. And talk about post game polish. I can see Kim Jones overheating through my television screen right now. Part of me wishes that Swish never made it to New York, only then would we really know if Billy Beane would allow for an Oakland A to amass over one million followers on twitter. You know those crazy sabermetricians and their numbers.

OF – Jose Bautista (Toronto Blue Jays, 11525): These numbers are no doubt inflated due to the use of performance enhancing software and malicious spyware used to pick up the cellphone signals of fans in the Rogers Centre.

OF – Jason Heyward (Atlanta Braves, 85633): Did I hear that Heyward was benched last week? Maybe he should have gone to Harvard for a year or two after all. The Ivy League could have really taught him a thing or two about writing succinct, descriptive 140 character or less prose.

Closer – Brian Wilson (San Francisco Giants, 288505): The beard alone is worth at least 100K followers making it the most valuable facial hair since the LeBron neckbeard. But seriously, have you ever heard Brian Wilson talk? Not stupid. In fact, I would wager to say that he is one of the smartest, most well read players in all of MLB. Strange then that he makes himself look like the zodiac killer on steroids.

Manager – Ozzie Guillen (Chicago White Sox, 165578): I can’t wait for Guillen to manager the Miami Marlins in 2012 when he and Logan Morrison will use twitter to challenge each others machismo on a daily basis. We can only hope that somehow Ozzie’s son, Oney, will be involved in the nightly round table as well.

view from Comerica Park on the night Jim “Country Strong” Thome hit #600 courtesy of @MC_Biebs

 

Monday Musings: Golf, Erectile Dysfunction, and #FreeLoMo

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Before we delve into baseball, here are a few quick strokes from the final round of the PGA Championship. First, neither name may light up the box office but Keegan Bradley and Jason Dufner sure do know how to put on an exciting finish at a major championship. Happy to see the New England native Bradley pull through, most because I had this constant feeling that Dufner was a lukewarm Colt 45 away from the couch. Secondly, CBS must believe that everyone watching the broadcast suffers from erectile dysfunction and low testosterone. There were so many Cialis commercials that I almost felt like watching the coverage from my bathtub. And I’ll tell you another thing, next time I’m watching a PGA tour event in person, I’ll make sure to give a wide berth to my fellow onlookers. Who knows what’s going on down there after all. But, I digress.

A Quick Trip Around the Bases

1B – Too much LoMo for the Florida Marlins? Logan Morrison, the Marlins starting left fielder and outspoken twittaholic, was sent down to Class AAA New Orleans Saturday night after a 3-0 defeat at the hands of Tim Lincecum and the San Francisco Giants. Morrison is having a breakout season for the Marlins, batting .249 with 17 home runs and 60 RBI which is exactly the reason why his demotion was very surprising.  According to a justifiably prickly Morrison, he was told by the Marlins organization that his being sent down had to do with hitting .240 while manager Jack McKeon was equally cryptic, adding that it was a move which should help LoMo “go out and work on his game”. Not exactly inspiring words from the 80 year old Marlins skipper which, along with the timing and overall cloudy nature of the decision, has led many to continue wondering what the heck if going on in South Florida.

Now, as conspiracy theories continue to mount, people are starting to believe that the Marlins sent down Morrison for being too present on twitter, occasionally speaking out against the Florida organization and its has been star shortstop Hanley Ramirez. If this is truly the case, then the Marlins organization is out of touch with the winds of MLB fans/social media and must develop a much firmer backbone when it come to handling honest criticism from players. LoMo is good for the Marlins and the game of baseball because he has figured out a way to connect with and facilitate relationships with fans – not to mention the 17 HR’s and 60 RBI. As the Florida organization prepares to open its new stadium next summer it would be wise for the front office to embrace Morrison and his 50,ooo+ followers on twitter. They do after all represent 50K more people than the average attendance at Sun Life Stadium Marlins this season.

2B – Carlos Zambrano continues to be nothing but a counterproductive influence on the Chicago Cubs, MLB, and hefty starting pitchers worldwide. By this point we shouldn’t really be surprised by anything Big Z does, including threatening to retire from professional baseball mid season. His debilitating petulance was on full stage again over the weekend after he responded to another woeful performance against the Atlanta Braves by throwing at Chipper Jones. He would then later pack up the entire contents of his locker and swear to never return again. The Northside of Chicago probably wishes he was serious about retiring, that way the Cubs wouldn’t be on the hook for his substantial salary in 2012. Is there another MLB team out there dumb enough to trade for the starting pitcher? The Cubs are ready to listen to most offers including, but not limited to: a box of baseballs, Derek Jeter 3K hit memorabilia, or a tub of used pine tar. Nobody needs pitching that badly. Taking it a step further, all unemployed Chicago Cubs fans should be allowed to throw a bucket full of warm lemon-lime Gatorade at Zambrano in hopes that he will wake up and realize how fortunate he is to still have a job.

3B – No Sunday morning is complete w/out a little Ed Randall’s Talking Baseball on WFAN New York. In between reminders to get your prostate checked, Randall managed to squeeze in a brief discussion on the most sure-fired way to shorten the length of MLB games, which he believes is to simply have umpires call more strikes. Of course, in this the age of entitlement, players have slowly eroded what little confidence umpires once held – well all except for Cowboy Joe West – making it nearly impossible for the men in blue to call a letter high strike. Here’s an idea: replace the plate umpire with one of those pitch tracks boxes they use during the television broadcast. That way, when David Ortiz complains about a knee high strike he has no one to blame but Joe Buck and Tim McCarver.

HR – Arizona has a problem and it has to do with their grass. They can’t grow any. Right now, the outfield at Chase Field looks like a patched up pair of corduroys. They need to install something similar to what the University of Phoenix Stadium uses which is a retractable surface that maintains appropriate amounts of sunshine and moisture. Or they can just keep doing what they’re doing which, if the Diamondbacks make the playoffs, means that we’ll have October baseball from the desert. Literally.

view from Sun Life Stadium courtesy of @ajlovesmegan

Resume Building at the PGA Championship

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Get those resumes ready, Tiger* needs a new caddie. Good friend, and looping novice, Bryon Bell is just not going to cut the mustard. Qualifications for a permanent caddie include but are not limited to: 10+ years experience on the PGA tour, a minimum of 2 major championships, and most importantly, complete discretion/secrecy when it comes to the personal affairs of the world’s former #1 golfer. Regardless of who’s carrying the bag for Tiger, I do not expect him to contend at the PGA Championship this weekend, even though Vegas has him at 10-1 odds, right alongside other favorites like Adam Scott and Rory McIlroy. All of this begs the question, who do I like to hoist the Wanamaker Trophy Sunday night?

Predicting the PGA Championship

Bronze: Jason Day – Why do professional golfers like Day choose to stay in mobile homes the week of major tournaments? I first remember hearing about this strange phenomenon back in John Daly’s rustic heydey, but in his case a Winnebago made perfect sense. Jason Day is a world class golfer with an awesome Australian accent, gorgeous young wife, and millions already in the bank. What’s he doing shacking up in trailer parked at the local Chick-Fil-A?

Silver: David Toms – Had to go with at least one veteran this week in the ATL. Speaking of the South, how swampy is the Atlanta Ahtletic Club going to get this week? I’m guessing we’ll be able to conduct a rorschach test based solely on the different sweat patterns emerging from the bottoms of all the different soaked pairs of dungarees. We should all be thankful that Chicago Bulls forward Carlos Boozer is not a golfer. That man sure does know how to perspire.

Gold: Dustin Johnson – While vacationing in northern Wisconsin last week, I played golf with an older gentleman from the Northwoods whose given name was Sampson but who introduced himself as “Snake”. Snake, as you can imagine, was quite the interesting character. One of his favorite hobbies – alongside fishing for muskie and playing in a polka band – was making his own golf clubs. I first noticed his homemade clubs when he unsheathed a massive driver that looked exactly like the r11 used by Dustin Johnson. When I asked Snake why he choose to make his own clubs his response was: “what’s the difference between a $400 driver and a $100 driver? (Pause) $100”. Simple logic really.

*love this picture from the Atlanta Athletic Club Courtesy of @JamesHaddockSSN. Totally looks like he got up super early and disguised himself as a large oak tree just for this one moment where he could snap a photo of an unsuspecting Tiger Woods. Good journalists know no bounds.

 

 

Monday Musings: Back from Vacation Edition

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How come you never feel well rested when returning from a vacation? Here it is the Monday morning, after a wonderful week away from the hustle and bustle of the Northeast, and all I find myself asking for is another week away where I can focus on three things: sleep, food, and sun. Of course with a 6 month old son, consistent sleep is not really an option plus you have to be careful exposing babies to too much sunlight. I guess the only thing I will really miss is the food, which when traveling through the northern Midwest means lots of bratwurst, cheese curds, and craft brews. Come to think of it, maybe it isn’t such a bad thing for my overall health that I’m back to a steady diet which includes at least one helping of vegetables a day.

Furthermore, because I’ve been semi “unplugged” for the last week or so, let me caution this tale by saying that I have kept up with the goings on in Major League Baseball primarily through my iPhone and a stealthy combination of the MLB app and twitter. To those curmudgeons out there who still believe that twitter is simply a fad or perhaps the narcissistic manifestation of youthful hyperactivity, let me tell you that people can tweet faster than the internet can refresh. And it’s good useful information too not just status updates and cyber-voyeurism. For instance, because of twitter I could tell that Adam Scott winning the Bridgestone Invitational Sunday afternoon was the biggest win of caddie Stevie Williams career long before the embittered looper launched into a suspiciously subversive diatribe directed at his previous employer Tiger Woods. The precognitive power of the “twittersphere” knows no bounds. Now if we can only use it to predict just how low the stock market is going to drop this week.

Finally, as a Baltimore Orioles fan, if being unplugged for a week has taught me anything about my team it’s that the more things change, the more they stay the same. When I left, the Orioles were barely treading water in the AL East basement and now, a week later, the Birds continue to sink lower and lower into the relative obscurity of professional baseball. And the saddest part about it all, much like with twitter, I knew it before it even happened.

A Quick Trip Around the Bases

1B – And speaking of the Orioles, if the Pittsburgh Pirates would like to blame anyone for their latest 10 game losing streak, which has essentially taken them completely out of the race in the NL Central, they should feel free to direct any and all animosity for their current plight towards the Baltimore Orioles. It was the Orioles after all that traded away Derrek Lee to the Pirates and since the first baseman has been in Pittsburgh the team hasn’t won a single game. Apparently the “stank” emanating from the warehouse on Eutaw Street can infect other teams as well. Too bad to as I had just pledged my NL allegiance this season to the Pirates.

2B – Staying in the NL Central for a second, the Chicago Cubs, winners of 7 of their last 10, are now only 6 games behind the Pirates for 4th place in the division. Amazing really considering how bad Chicago has been this season and how promising the Pirates play had been up until the trading deadline. Speaking of trades, if you’re in a MLB front office, why would you ever even consider giving a free agent a no trade clause? Look at the trouble it has gotten the Cubs in. Both Aramis Ramirez and Kerry Wood, two valuable trade chips for a team in desperate need of rebuilding, told the team that they would block any deal that sends them away from the Northside. Credit the Cubs organization for making their players feel so comfortable but shame on the front office for continuing to structure contracts that include no trade clauses.

3B – Move over Pittsburgh, hello Arizona. The Diamondbacks, now only a half game behind the NL West leading San Francisco Giants, have slowly emerged as the underdog darlings of 2011. It’s highly improbable, what with the arsenal of arms in the Bay Area, that the Snakes remain in this race to the very end but it’s a nice story nevertheless. And go ahead, name 3 players on the Diamondbacks roster? After Justin Upton things start to a get a little cloudy. Perhaps more folks are familiar with Arizona manager Kirk Gibson, he of “I don’t believe what i just saw” fame.

HR – Shifting away from the small market, can you believe that heading into last night’s Red Sox/Yankees game that both teams held a 7.5 game lead over the Los Angeles Angles in the AL Wild Card race? I understand that MLB teams are not in the habit of resting players for the playoffs, sort of like what happens in the NFL, but if there were ever a year where a baseball team could get away with it, this is that year. At this current pace the Yankees may tell Alex Rodriguez to spend a little more time rehabbing his surgically repaired knee. Well, so long as he stays away from any high stakes poker ring that also involves Tobey Maguire.

view from Chase Field courtesy of @jbroussard65