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We Came To Remember A Friend

September 3, 2013 by Jon

forsternWe came to remember a friend, a friend who had left us all much too soon. That’s what brought us all to The Big House. Of course when you arrive in Ann Arbor you realize that it isn’t even a house at all but rather a football stadium, but not just any kind of football stadium but a football stadium steeped in tradition and memories, memories of a glorious past full of Big Ten championships and Heisman Trophy winners. Few of us had any direct affiliation to the school or the stadium but none of that mattered, not on this Saturday. We came to remember a friend.

We came to remember a friend, a friend who had already sent in his undergrad deposit to the University of Illinois before realizing at the very last moment that he already bled Maize and Blue. These two colors run deep throughout this college town, creating avenues and arteries full of semi coherent stories that may or may not be complete fabrications of a time long ago. Rather than expose and vilify these novice hucksters for misrepresenting their youth, we accepted these tales out of respect for our friend. A friend whose favorite establishment is this place that specializes in homemade cheese pizza and large mason jars of sangria, the combination of which may lead to diabetic shock. The ice helped, at least enough to ward of the onset of a premature hangover. No complaints, the conversations were appreciated and the tributes tender and glowing. We came to remember a friend.

We came to remember a friend, a friend whose social calendar revolved around football games and the fraternity. His brothers were back in town, leading the charge past a row of social houses surrounded by swarms of scantily clad frosh all looking to be recognized on this the first weekend of the school year. We were much too old and haggard to slow down and mingle, fueled by the devastating realization that our kids are now closer to college than we are. Better to surround ourselves with grad students, who in this town, all seem to mingle in the downstairs of a dimly lit pub where the water pipes are exposed and hang just low enough to engage in a few feats of strength. This was another of our friend’s favorite places although it’s tough to imagine him attempting any kind of calisthenics. Especially when surrounded by several taps worth of local brew. A perfect way to prepare yourself for the following morning’s festivities. The home opener. We came to remember a friend.

We came to remember a friend, a friend so benign that he was able to foster relationships with a wide array of Wolverine fans, including the very kind folks who hosted our tailgate. Breakfast turns to lunch and as we stood amidst a sea of blue and cornfields of maize one starts to wonder how in the world we’re going to pack all these people into a single space. For some, the libations will help grease the skids, serving as a conduit to release all inhibitions. People watching is at a premium. The students are going hard because they’re young and they only know one speed. Grads are here too with strollers in tote as they introduce a whole new generation to Saturday, a day reserved for BBQ and seven layer dip. Locals dominate the parking lots as well, welcomed as equals amongst the euphoria. The opponents from the middle of the state arrive but their maroon proves to be no match for the primary colored protagonists. A football is found and our warmup begins but is cut short by the hordes making their towards the gleaming gates. Time to follow. We came to remember a friend.

We came to remember a friend, a friend who would never miss a game. The stadium has already filled up by the time we made the ascent to our seats. Behind us, The Team The Team The Team prepares to run onto the field serenaded by the marching band. As we take our seats, we Hail the Victors, the first of many reverential salutes on this day. The air is humid and the space limited but that will not prevent the record setting crowd of over 112K from enjoying the onslaught as the Chips prove to be little match while the common fan’s eyes turn towards the following week under the lights against rival Notre Dame. We stay in our seats, partially because there is not enough space to move but also because we didn’t want to miss something. Like the marching band honoring 007 at halftime or the backups coming in and giving us all a glimpse of the near future.  Our friend never liked to leave these games early either, anything to prolong the long walk home. By the 3rd quarter, we really could have used the shade. But, we came to remember a friend.

We came to remember a friend, a friend who enjoyed his post game rest. Win or lose, put the feet up for a few hours before commencing with late night activities. No late night activities for our crew, nice dinner and a few drinks with friends, some old, some new. Our bond is our friend, a person so endearing that his memory has created a tradition. His spirit shines on throughout the steps of Michigan Stadium and the stories we tell our kids. We came to remember a friend, a friend who will be with us always.

MLB Deadline Deals That Should Happen

July 31, 2013 by Jon

Chip Camden YardsHere it is, the last day of July, or as baseball fans call it “the final day before the MLB trade deadline when every possible deal under the sun is discussed yet very few teams end up pulling the trigging on a last minute blockbuster because they are either A) afraid to take on too much salary B) fearful of giving up the prospects or C) the Mets”. While the three way involving Peavy, Iglesias and an assortment of others (boy that doesn’t sound right) was a sexy way to get things started, I thought it would be fun to speculate on a few scenarios that, if they in fact came to fruition, could affect the push for the 2013 MLB playoffs and beyond.

1) Alex Rodriguez for Breaking Bad’s Walter White

It almost makes too much sense. Both are nearing the end of award winning careers with each having been embroiled in drug controversies for many many years. If I’m the Yankees I’d even consider throwing in GM Brian Cashman who for some time now has been acting a lot like George Costanza with the whole “if I look surly and pissed off then maybe my bosses won’t ask me to do shit”. Bottom line, a career change is in order and Cash would probably fit right in with the West Coast methamphetamine scene.

2) Cliff Lee to the Cleveland Indians for manager Terry Francona and Browns backup quarterback Jason Campbell

Everyone gets a chance to return to their roots except for Campbell, who under Eagles head coach Brian Kelly would probably have as good a chance to take regular season reps under center as either Nick Foles or the “Artist Formally Known” as Mike Vick.

3) Albert Pujols to the NY Mets for the remainder of Bobby Bonilla’s contract

Only problem is that in the NL it would be hard for Pujols to play the field with his “planting fajitas” or whatever the foot condition that he’s currently afflicted with is called. Well unless he’s like Chicago Bulls center Joakim Noah, which is to say impervious to any and all pain in his lower extremities.

4) Giancarlo Stanton to Marvel Studios for the Wolverine 

Is anyone else getting sick and tired of all these summer comic book movies? At some point Hollywood is going to decide to move on to something more…original, right? Now we’ve got word that Superman and Batman are teaming up together because you know, Nolan’s Dark Knight Trilogy didn’t end things perfectly as is.

Giancarlo Stanton is tops on the list of “MLB players who could make an instant impact in the Avengers sequel”. Joss Whedon should get his tree hugging Wesleyan ass on the phone to the Marlins as soon as possible.

5) Joe Mauer to Texas A&M for quarterback and Heisman Trophy winner Johnny Manziel

Mauer was a highly toted quarterback coming out of high school and probably has a few years of eligibility left before having to return to the Twin Cities. And poor Manziel. I’m starting to feel sorry for the kid I really am. All that scrutiny and media attention at such a young age. And for what? Kid gets tossed from a frat party in Austin? So what? It would have been news if they let him stay.

You know what I’m going to do, because of all the needless rumor mongoring that devours social media today I’m closing all my accounts…after I post this piece on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.

 view from Camden Yards courtesy of Chip

Talking the 2013 Chicago Cubs w/ Uncle Bruce

July 15, 2013 by Jon

https://viewmyseats.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/2013-Chicago-Cubs-w-Uncle-Bruce.mp3 4711966 audio/mpeg

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Since it’s the All Star break, I figured now was as good a time as any to check in on my Uncle Bruce, a lifelong Cubs fans, to hear what he has to say about the season to date and converse a little bit about the past and future of the Northside.

2013 Chicago Cubs w: Uncle Bruce

Those In The Know: Chicago Blackhawks Stanley Cup Champs

June 29, 2013 by Jon

Blackhawks ParadeThose in the know say that hockey players are some of the most down to earth, hard working athletes in professional sports. What does that say about baseball players or bobsledders?

Those in the know say that more than 2 million fans showed up to Grant Park Friday afternoon to celebrate the Chicago Blackhawks winning the Stanley Cup, their second championship in 4 years. Wish Americans cared as much about voting as they do parades.

Those in the know say that the Tuukka Rask and the Bruins were less than 80 seconds from forcing a game 7. Bryan Bickell and Dave Bolland must not be so good at math.

Those in the know say that the Hawks were the best team during the regular season. I guess they forgot to tell the Boston Bruins who proved to be more than adequate sparring partners.

Those in the know say that captain Jonathan Toews is the heart and soul of the team,  a competitor so determined to win a championship that he was willing to play through an upper body injury which kept him off the ice during the 3rd period of game 5. Patrice Bergeron and his punctured lung are not impressed.

Those in the know say that Corey Crawford could be beaten high, glove side. That’s better than directly at him.

Those in the know say that Bruins’ giant defenseman Zdeno Chara needed to be physically challenge by pushing the puck into his corner. Now that KG and Paul Pierce are off to Brooklyn the Celtics could use a power forward.

Those in the know say that Patrick Kane remains a wizard with the puck and an opportunistic goal scorer who came through when it counted most. Too bad he can’t grow a mustache.

Those in the know say that playoff beards starts to smell after about the second round of the postseason. Johnny Oduya could really use a bath.

Those in the know say that the “H” in Hjalmarsson is silent. No wonder the Swedes are so happy, they don’t have to waste valuable time and energy pronouncing unnecessary consonants.

Those in the know say that in hockey the post series handshake is the best example of sportsmanship. What then about the slashing, tripping, fighting, eye gauging, and fish hooking?

Those in the know say that this Blackhawks win has no karmic effect on other Chicago sports teams. Which means of course that it’s going to take more than a few Wrigley Field renovations to bring the Cubs their first World Series championship since 1908. Then again, you’re Cubs fans, you already knew that.

view from Grant Park courtesy of @TheHockeyProbs

Merion My Merion

June 17, 2013 by Jon

Merion #7The traffic wasn’t nearly as bad as advertised. In fact, I can’t recall a more enjoyable journey down the New Jersey Turnpike. Even the full service gas station attendants were exceedingly accommodating, except for that guy on the motorcycle at the adjacent pump. And buddy just in case you were still wondering no one enjoys Christian rock as much as you.

The directions read simple enough: corner of Darby and Golf View. But what about the police barricade at the end of Ardmore? Surely the uniformed policer officer will understand our predicament. No, ok, we will find another way. Ellis looks good. Can’t stop us now. Uh-oh, another checkpoint. Time to call the man, have him explain who we are. No time for pleasantries, we will see you on the inside. Park down the street and look for the white tents.

Leave your cellphone in this ziplock bag but before you do tell us who you are. What was that? Not on the list? Surely you’re mistaken. No? Take a step back, the man is still within view, talking to clients. Perhaps if we wave our arms and explain who we are. No need, names were on the list after all. What company do we work for? What company do you work for? It seems we’re stepping into a corporate event. Should have worn different shoes.

Lanyards on. Blue bracelet fastened. Getting thirsty. It’s 10:30 in the morning after all. Tip jar optional. Time to check out the viewing area. Two-tiered, high enough to see the top of the wicker basket but discrete enough not to distract the players. This will work nicely. Stomach grumbling. Where was that omelet bar again? Thanks again for the tickets man. Who are we? You know, friends of a friend.

Golfers won’t come through for another two hours, plenty of time for another drink. But not tonic, don’t enjoy the taste. What’s that you say? There’s another tent down the road adjacent to 8 fairway? Good idea, better bathroom. Running water. And trail mix, but not in the bathroom. This is a corporate event after all.

Who are we? Friends of a friend. Who are you? A player agent. Yes, Jim Furyk. Heard of him. Sorry he missed the cut. Is he still in his rental house? What’s Robinson Cano got to do with it? I’m starting not to believe this guy’s story. Lunch is served.

Turkey without gravy. And potato salad. But get to it before the heat does. And grab a napkin, we’re guests after all. Maybe we should try to get on the course? Should be easy enough, we’ll just ask a patron as they’re walking off the course. Or maybe that nice woman under the tent representing some security software for this corporate event. Who are we? Friends of a friend. But we know the man? Well in that case I’ll see what I can do.

Golfers nearing our position. Time to scope out a spot. Sun beating down on our foreheads. Good thing I borrowed a stranger’s sunscreen. SPF 30 should suffice. What’s that noise up above? Is it Rupunzel? No. It’s our friend of a friend, here to cast down her hair. Swing around to the front door? But what about these other people standing on the two-tiered temporary stands? Leave ’em. Corporate commoners. They don’t know the man.

So great to you. And what a surprise to see you. Is this ok? Should be, it’s a bedroom but no time to sleep now. Where’s the porch? Directly above the 7th green. Oh look, the wicker basket. And the bottom of the hole. And off in the distance, that’s 3 green and 6 fairway. Drinks and food still included? This will really work. Who are we? Friends of a friend.

First group through, KJ Choi. Birdie good. From our vantage point we could have picked the ball out of the bottom of the cup for him. But the signs say be quiet. Better put cellphones away. But only after taking a panoramic. Too surreal to pass up. Quick, before the USGA confiscates your device. Ringers on vibrate. Jalapeño poppers on a warm day. Where was that private bathroom? Down by the 8th fairway. Can’t leave these spots now. Other people wondering what we’re doing up atop the castle. We know the man. Who are we? Friends of a friend.

TV now on behind us. Leaders approaching our perch. Make sure our cups are full. Stay hydrated, sun is hot. You look tired. Light beer was a bad choice. Where should I put the empty cup? Can’t leave on the dresser, it’s not my bedroom. I’ll just gently place in flower boxes on porch. I won’t forget about em. Here comes the man. Thanks for the porch. Do we have some space for your clients? Sure, you’re the man, you tell us what to do. Who are we? Friends of a friend.

Tiger coming. Time to get serious. Strike a pose, who knows we might end up in the paper. You look tired, put your sunglasses on. It’ll help block the sun. Everyone quiet. Good for par. Can’t get it going, lost weekend for the world’s #1. Rory made a birdie. But he still doesn’t look happy with Nike. Where’s that player agent we met earlier? Is he looking up at us with envy? Yes we know who Jim Furyk is.

There’s Rosie, the eventual champ. Blue on blue? Or is that black on black? Can’t tell. Sun still in our eyes. More clients. Yes we’ll move over. You have a lovely home sir. Is that your bed. No that’s not our roast beef sandwich on the carpet. We know better than that. Shhhhhh! Sorry, we thought we were being quiet. Corporate event.

Last group. Phil, everyone’s favorite. “Philly loves Phil.” Or something like that. Tips his cap, probably knows the man. Time to move on, sun too hot. Where are you going? Heading up to the big city. Well thanks for your generosity, didn’t expect to be invited into the bedroom. We’ll make sure to thank the man again. But first, time to get on the course. Should ask that guy over there. Well you didn’t have to swear at us sir. What about you fella? Thanks, we wished we lived in the area too. How about you nice looking pregnant lady with doting husband? Yes one ticket would be great. Two would be even better. Time to check those cellphones again. But be quick, lead groups are heading to 9. Can’t forget to thank the man.

On the course now. Pathways are muddy and fairways narrow. They said it was going to be easy but why are there no red numbers? Must have something to do with the rough. US Open rough they say. Deep enough to lose a shoe. Fairway crossing. Feels like carpet. Much different than back home. Should look at becoming a member. Later, that’s a tough looking par 3. Careful of the water. And empty beer cups. Lots of thirsty patrons. Good thing the economy is recovering. Need to get ahead of that group right there. But so does everyone else. Quick! A diversion. There’s Tiger. Now run the other way. Too late. Fairway closed. Wait with the rest of the cattle. But we know the man.

Now we’re towards the finishing holes. Between 15 and 16. Must grab a bite. Been a while since that jalapeño popper. Roast pork and coleslaw. Philly cheesesteak. When in Rome. Bottled water isn’t cheap. Well the economy is doing better. No beer thank you. Don’t want to end up looking like that guy with the pink shirt and popped collar. What foul language. Careful man there are children. No you can’t borrow any sunscreen. Cause I don’t have any. Took it from the man’s place. Starting to miss the man.

Back to grass between 15 and 16. You the man Strick. Love the Badger. Reminds me of my dad. Must be the way he wears his khakis. Hey, Rick Reilly. What’s the story this week? Phil second place again? How’s that orange gatorade? Careful of the beer or else you’ll end up looking like that guy. He could really use some sunscreen.

Phil playing 16, hidden green so we’re left guessing. Patrons all gathering now around the quarry. 17 and 18 jammed. Why not head back to the man’s place. Beautiful walk across Ardmore. Empty fairways now. Take a few practice swings down 4. Sprinkler head says 174 but I’m guessing it’s longer than that. Maybe an 8 iron. For them wedge. I gotta look at becoming a member.

Back at the man’s place. Thanks for holding our cellphones. Need to use that bathroom one more time. What’s that? You want your parking pass back. Yes, but of course. You’re the man after all. Here you go. And thanks for the memories.

Police barricade is down but the New Jersey Turnpike is still wide open. Turn on the hockey game, going to go all 7. Start talking about the day. Merion my Merion. Who are we? Friends of a friend.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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