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At the Intersection of Sports and Culture

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Celebrating the Red, White, and Blue

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Happy 4th of July weekend everybody! Time to fire up the BBQ and celebrate our independence. Before heading out to the lake, river, or stream, take a few quick moments to peruse our list of the best red, white, and blue uniforms in American sports today. Feel free to offer an opinion on these rankings, it is a free country after all.

Red

#5: Florida State football – There’s a lot of stuff going on in Tallahassee that I could do with out – Chief Osceola and his horse Renegade planting a flaming spear in the ground for one. But, what’s not to love about the Burt Reynolds inspired garnet/gold?*  When watching Seminole games today it’s hard not to remember the halcyon days of Neon Deion, Charlie Ward, and shoplifting at a local Dillard’s.

*I made that part up about the uniform being Burt Reynolds inspired. Although, not hard to imagine seeing as how he has probably donated a ton of money to his alma mater.

#4: Detroit Red Wings – I still don’t understand why the NHL decided to have the home team wear the color sweater. White at home, color on the road – with the major exception being college/professional football. In any case, the Red Wings unis continue to epitomize Detroit automotive ingenuity. Also my first, and only, personalized hockey jersey was a Detroit Red Wings Bob Probert #24, may he rest in peace. I liked Probert for the fact that he was the best fighter in EA Sports NHL ’94 and NOT because of his massive cocaine and alcohol problem.

#3: San Francisco 49ers/Kansas City Chiefs (tie) – If this list included uniforms from Europe, then #3 probably would have been Manchester United. But this is America, and in America we play football none of this namby-pamby soccer stuff. Although I will say that I watched the Gold Cup finals Saturday night and came away incredibly impressed with Mexico. Could someone in the know tell me if El Tri has a legitimate chance to win/place/show in the 2014 World Cup? Also, how does the USMNT go about acquiring a player named Chicharito? The name alone has got to be good for a goal or two.

#2: Chicago Bulls – My first Michael Jordan memory is a box of Wheaties. No really. I was in the 3rd grade and my basketball coach gave me an MJ winning the ’88 dunk contest poster which came from a box of Wheaties. Of course, being the impulsive, stubborn kid that I was, I wanted all of the posters in the entire series therefore my family must have gone through around 20 boxes of cereal in the span of a month.

#1: Tiger Woods on Sunday – Other professional golfers know that when Tiger’s in contention on Sunday, red is off limits. Of course, it has been so long since this happened that many fans have probably already forgotten about Woods affinity for final round red. I use to think that a red golf shirt could help improve my scoring average but after countless rounds and a handicap hovering in the 20’s, I think it’s fair to say that the clothes do not always make the man.

White

#5: Oakland A’s – The A’s probably wouldn’t be on this list if it weren’t for their white spikes, which are technically part of the uniform. In fact, the A’s were wearing white spikes long before they became fashionable a few years back. Also, white cleats really do make baseball players look svelter/faster. I believe Jason Giambi had 20 stolen bases during one season in Oakland, half of which were due to his white spikes.

#4: New York Yankees – Sorry haters, the pinstripes had to be somewhere on this list. Probably would have put them at #2 if it weren’t for Steiner Collectibles already trying to sell me a commemorative cup of batter’s box dirt from Derek Jeter’s eventual 3000 hit.

#3: University of Alabama football – Such a simple, clean look. For a while, college football teams were getting a little carried with the redesign of their uniforms. This was undoubtedly seen as a way to sell more jerseys and increase revenue. But not the Crimson Tide. Bear Bryant would never allow it and he’s been dead for nearly 30 years. I’m also surprised that, like Alabama, more college football teams don’t go with #’s on the side of the helmet which seems to be a much better option than 50% of the decals out there right now.

#2: Boston Celtics – During the mid to late 90’s, the Celtics jersey was unfortunately becoming synonymous with a bad a House of Pain video or a poorly timed punchline from the movie Celtic Pride. But then the “Big Three” united and brought a championship back to Boston. Now, the Celtics jersey has regained its street cred and is currently being worn by the likes of Mark Wahlberg, Dane Cook, and Whitey Bulger.

#1: Dallas Cowboys – Regardless of how you feel about the Cowboys you cannot deny that their home uniform is part of what made them America’s team. Also, how many NFL teams choose to wear white at home? I can think of 3: Redskins, Dolphins (occasionally), and Cowboys. I love it when the NY Giants wear white at the Meadowlands just to mess with the Cowboys who seem to disdain their road blues. Classic NFC East gamesmanship.

Blue

#5: Boise State football – The Broncos wouldn’t have even come close to touching this list 5 years ago. But then the Statue of Liberty play happened in the Fiesta Bowl and now Boise State has evolved into a perennial power in college football. I don’t care however for the blue on blue jersey/pant combo especially when they play at home on the smurf turf.

#4: North Carolina basketball – All apologies to their Tobacco Road neighbors in Durham, but Carolina blue is the most recognizable jersey in college basketball. I have no idea why they ever allowed Nike to force them into those butt ugly “UNC” jerseys a few years back. That was a massive failure. Probably thought that with Dean Smith out of the way they could push for change. But if it ain’t broken…

#3 Chicago Bears -At first glance, the Bears jersey probably looks more black than blue and, to be fair, that fits in quite nicely with the persona of the franchise and its city. Hard nosed football going back to the days of George Halas. I wonder what Papa Bear would have thought about Jay Cutler’s knee injury against the Packers?

#2: New York Rangers – For a while the Rangers went with an image of the Statue of Liberty across the front of their blue jersey. Now they are back to the classic block lettering which I’m sure brings back fond memories of ’94 when the city of Vancouver rioted for the first time.

#1: Penn State football – The more things change, the more they stay the same. Since Joe Pa is never going to retire, I think it’s safe to say that these classic uniforms won’t be changing anytime soon either.

view from Citizens Bank Park courtesy of @eliza_peterson

Wednesday Worries: Wrigley Field Edition

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I’m worried that….

my buddy Steve didn’t make it out of Murphy’s in time to catch the first pitch of Cubs/Giants live from Wrigley Field. I asked him to send in a picture from the game and instead got one from the bar. Not a very promising sign. Better check in again with him a little later.

this happens a lot more than we think. Couple of former prep school buddies from Winnekta go out with every intention of making it by first pitch of the Cubs game but end up conversing and carousing until the early innings in one of the many watering holes that surround Wrigley. Although, if you have ever spent 9 innings in the bleachers you understand that it’s pretty much like watching the game from a bar anyway. I once watched a Cubs/Cardinals matinee from the bleachers and after the game was over I ended up taking a 3 hour nap.  I guess that’s what you get when you combine a few too many pints of Old Style and no sun screen.

because of all the drinking that goes on in the bleachers some Cubs fans might not realize that their team lost both games of a doubleheader to the San Francisco Giants yesterday. With a record of 32-48, and a full 12 games behind the Milwaukee Brewers in the NL Central, this could end up being a very long, hot summer on the Northside. Do the Cubs even have any tradable assets? Kerry Wood? Ryan Dempster? Maybe Carlos Pena? None of these players are going to warrant a significant amount of talent in return. It looks like Cubs fans will have to wait for the offseason when the can overpay for either Prince Fielder or Albert Pujols.

when Steve did finally get to his seats, and judging by the look of the setting sun I’ll guess bottom of the 2nd inning, he realized that the adult beverages were a lot cheaper in the bar outside the stadium.

 

 

 

PNC Park says: “Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled massses”

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My buddy Brownie* visited PNC Park over the weekend to watch the Pirates take on the Boston Red Sox. He sent me this view from his seats and told me that yes, those buildings in the background are in fact real and spectacular. He went on to say that the Pittsburgh skyline borders on hypnotic and that when you watch a Pirates game from the upper deck of PNC Park, you can’t help but stare at the Clemente Bridge and the tall buildings behind. He equated it to a Cowboys game at the new stadium in Dallas where fans can’t help but be distracted by the massive jumbotron hovering above the field.

*It’s true what they say, every group of friends has someone called “Brownie” and “Murph”.

I have to admit, I’m starting to develop a bit of a “fan crush” on Pittsburgh and the Pirates. The Steel City has emerged as the hippest port of call between New York and Chicago – sorry Cleveland – for young professionals in their late 20’s/early 30’s. With a strong university system, gobs of entrepreneurial spirit, and affordable housing, Pittsburgh has everything that a wayward soul with latent ambition could possibly ever need. Think about it as grittier version of Portland, Oregon.

The Pirates are quietly becoming my National League team. As a Baltimore Orioles fan, I have empathy for the plight of the Pittsburgh Pirates fan base and share their longing for a winning season. With loads of young talent, Andrew McCutchen as the centerpiece of this youth movement, and a beautiful ballpark, this is a team that should be able to turn things around, if ownership ever becomes willing to invest money in improving the quality of their on the field product.

Hopefully the great migration of “coasties” who have abandoned their studio apartments in Red Hook for a new lease on life in the Steel City will be able to go out to PNC Park and watch a winner sometime in the near future.

Plodding Through the Previews: Transformers: Dark of the Moon

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Some folks boast a photographic memory while others claim to count cards. Me, I have a strange telekinetic ability to predict the plot of a movie based solely on the coming attraction. I will channel these talents every week in an effort to breakdown the latest summer blockbuster. With a little luck, and patience, I’ll also connect the preview to a current sports story however, this final pursuit may result in complete and abject failure.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Momentum was slow for this the 3rd installment of the Transformers franchise until word leaked about the reasons behind the Megan Fox firing from Dark of the Moon. Apparently, executive producer Steven Spielberg was less than pleased with how Fox compared Transformers director Michael Bay to Adolf Hitler.* Ignorant? Absolutely. A fireable offense? Sure, why not. Especially when you have Victoria’s Secret model Rosie Huntington-Whitely waiting in the wings. But by far the most objectionable aspect of Fox’s comments were that they historically inaccurate. Every student of history knows that Adolf Hitler was many things – epitome of evil, mass-murderer, narcissist, world renowned cross dresser – but not a filmmaker. Now, if she had compared Bay to say, Nazi propagandist Joseph Goebbels, at least she would have been comparing directors. Then again, the more you think about, that comparison doesn’t really fit either. Let’s just call her comments ignorant and move on.

*After reading this article from foxnews.com it’s 100% impossible to like anyone involved in the making of this film. From the hyperactive Bay to the overly entitled Shia LaBeouf, this had to be one of the least pleasant movie sets to work on.

By the way, why is this movie called Dark of the Moon instead of Dark Side of the Moon? Did the remaining members of Pink Floyd see a rough cut of the film and say no way are we allowing ourselves to be connected to this movie?

A second by second breakdown of the preview

:10 – For the record, Carl Everett does not believe in this preview or dinosaurs.

:28 – Many of you know that my general apathy towards Colorado Rockies shortstop Troy Tulowitzki stems from the fact that he is a dead ringer for Shia LaBeouf.

:30 – C’mon Frances McDormand! Remember who you are. Your Marge Gunderson. Fargo? Almost Famous? Now your selling out to a multi-billion dollar franchise just so you can have your face tattooed across lunchboxes worldwide. I never thought the day would come.

:40 – I would like to hire whoever does the voice over work for Optimus Prime to narrate an entire day in my life. Talk about a sweeping epic. Something dramatic would be bound to happen. “In a world, where Jon washes the dishes better than any other human on the planet, something strange was about to happen.”

1:00 – Usually I can be be fairly cynical regarding the quality of these coming attractions but, as far as previews go, this one is kinda kick-ass.

1:15 – Why must you pick on Chicago evil transformers? Also, Pittsburgh is the new Boston which was the new Chicago which replaced New York. Got it?

1:24 – What’s the current over/under for Rosie Huntington-Whitely lines of dialogue in this movie? 0, 10, or 25? Give me 10 and I’ll take the under.

2:05 – After about 30 seconds strait of robot carnage with some melodramatic dialogue sprinkled on top, we have by far our coolest shot of the preview. Tell me, does anyone else think that the centipede transformer looks an awful lot like some of the sentry robots in the Matrix?

The Plod (where I guess the plot of the movie based on the preview)

We begin with a heartbroken Shia who just can’t believe Megan Fox dumped him so that she could take her Rhodes Scholarship to Oxford where she intends to study molecular engineering. And then, all of a sudden, just when you thought all of the bad transformers had been destroyed in the 2nd film, it turns out that a whole bunch of them were actually hiding on…the dark of the Moon! And now they’re ready to destroy the earth starting with Chicago and the entire state of Illinois. But get this, Shia and his merry band of transformer pals, with the additional help of Fergie’s husband and Tyrese, are there to save the day. A few good transformers are lost in the process, sayonara Bumblebee, but in the end, good out duels bad and we’re poised for Transformers 4 sometime during the summer of 2013. Except in this one, the bad transformers target Detroit because, as you know, that city hasn’t experienced enough devastation in recent years.

Connection to a Current Sports Story

The spontaneous combustion of the Williams sisters who both lost in the 4th round of Wimbledon yesterday. This morning, Venus and Serena may look to hide on the dark of the moon until the U.S. Open commences in late August.** To be fair, both players, especially Serena, were battling some serious injuries heading into play at the All England Club. I watched portions of their 4th round matches yesterday morning and neither sister played with any sort of joy or passion whatsoever. It was very hard to watch. Part injury, but I am also starting to wonder if maybe competing has become a little too routine for these aging stars. It begs the question, will Venus or Serena ever win another Wimbledon?

**Give me a break, it’s the best I could do.

view from Wimbledon courtesy of @AlsTheGreat

Monday Morning Musings

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Pop quiz hotshot. – Dennis Hopper from Speed

Bottom 11, tie score, and nobody out. Leadoff hitter doubles to deep left center. Now, runner on 2nd, still nobody out, and your two hitter coming to the plate. Perfect opportunity to sacrifice bunt the runner over to 3rd base and take your chances 1 out, number 3 & 4 hitters coming to the plate. Tie ballgame and remember you’re the home team needing only that 1 run to score to win. So what do you do?

What you shouldn’t do is have the 2 hitter swing at the first pitch and ground out sharply  to 3rd base leaving the baserunner stranded at 2nd base with 1 out. What happens next is just as ugly. 3 hitter, your hottest bat in the lineup, flies out to right field, deep enough so that if the runner were on 3rd base instead of 2nd, he would have been able to tag up and score fairly easily. But remember, the runner is still at 2nd base because the 2 batter didn’t bunt them over to 3rd with nobody out. With 1st base open, opposing team intentionally walks cleanup hitter and gets the next batter to hit into a fielder’s choice. Inning over. Tie ballgame, heading now to the top of the 12th.

The hubris of some of these American League teams. What ever happened to small ball or simply just understanding a situation. The Baltimore Orioles are not in the position – last place in the AL East for what feels like over a decade straight – where they can just potentially throw a game away because they fail to adhere to basic baseball strategy. (Editors note: the Birds would go on to win this game 5-4 over the Cincinnati Reds in the bottom of the 12th on a Derrek Lee solo jack to left field.) The only satisfactory explanation Buck Showalter could have given – and I’m sorry but I didn’t listen to his press conference after the game – was that with nobody out and Nick Markakis at the plate, he wanted to give a good hitter a chance with no strikes to move JJ Hardy, the runner on 2nd base, over to 3rd on his own. Since Markakis is a lefty, look for something low and in to drive to right field. Or take a strike after which the bunt sign is on. But to ground out to 3rd base on a first pitch with nobody out and a runner on 2nd in a tie ballgame in extra innings is inexcusable. Markakis, Showalter or whomever was responsible for this oversight can thank D Lee – he of the slider speed bat – for bailing them out in the 12th.

A Quick Trip Around the Bases (no more Orioles business I swear)

1B – You can imagine my amazement when I tuned into ESPN for Sunday Night Baseball only to find the Cleveland Indians taking on the San Francisco Giants. I could have sworn that the programmers up in Bristol would have gone at least one more week with only showing MLB games featuring either the Boston Red Sox, New York Yankees, Philadelphia Phillies, Chicago Cubs, or St. Louis Cardinals. But apparently they must have realized that there are in fact other baseball teams playing this season and wanted to throw a small bone to us, the disenfranchised, silent minority of fans. I’m sure we’ll be back in the Bronx for Yankees vs somebody later this week. (Bitterness over starting now. NOW.)

2B – Is it possible, I repeat possible, that Prince Fielder will be a higher valued free agent this coming winter than Albert Pujols? I know, I know, who thought the day would ever come but just think about for a second. Fielder is 4 years younger than Pujols, 27 to 31, and is putting together a MVP type season – if not for Jose Reyes – for the Milwaukee Brewers while King Albert toils on the DL for the next two months recovering from a broken wrist.*  Even if the prodigious Pujols still commands a larger contract than Fielder this offseason, he is most likely going to have to settle for a 6-7 year contract instead of the ARodesque ten year deal he was maybe hoping for during spring training.

*Wrist injuries aren’t exactly the type of injuries that baseball players typically have an easy time recover from, just ask Nomar Garciaparra.

3B – Too bad Washington, just when the Nationals were starting to play some pretty good baseball your manager Jim Riggleman decides to suddenly get up and vacate his post. Now 68 year old Davey Johnson takes over, he of ’86 Mets lore, and we are all left wondering if the Nats can leave the soap opera behind and keep their momentum rolling through the All Star break. I for one am rooting for this group because I hate to see a manager, or front office for that matter, determining the fate of a team midseason.

HR – And finally, what are the chances that the Pittsburgh Pirates can finish the season above .500? Currently the team sits at 39-38 and for a franchise that hasn’t had a winning season since 1992, this is a remarkable achievement. Good luck Bucs! May the power of Batman be with you!