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If Gambling Were Legal: NFL Week 8

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Indianapolis (+8.5) over TENNESSEE – It’s fun to try and think about what the spread of each Colts game this season would have been if Peyton Manning were healthy and playing. Take for example this matchup against the Titans. With Manning, I say the line goes to Colts (-6.5). Also, to whomever suggested this past week that Manning deserves a few MVP votes…you sir are a pot stirring nincompoop.

Jacksonville (+9.5) over Houston – The potential return of Andre Johnson means two things: 1) Texans tease the cover and win game 21-13 and 2) my fantasy team gets back on track after nearly three full weeks of mediocrity. How does the old saying go? You can’t make chicken salad out of chicken____?

CAROLINA (-3.5) over Minnesota – For some strange reason this matchup between two teams who are a combined 3-11 is one of the more appealing of all the 1pm starts. Probably has something to do with the two rookie quarterbacks, Cam Newton and Christian Ponder. I won’t be as excited if this game some how ends up involving Donovan McNabb.

New Orleans (-13.5) over ST. LOUIS – How exactly is a high ankle sprain any different from a regular ankle sprain? Is there such a thing as a low ankle sprain? In high school, I can remember rolling my ankle at least once a varsity basketball game. Today, my ligaments are so stretched out that I sprain an ankle climbing the stairs.

BALTIMORE (-13) over Arizona – What the heck happened last Monday night? Maurice Jones-Drew fumbled the ball four times and the Jaguars STILL managed to beat the Ravens. Is it all on QB Joe Flacco? It certainly seems like a lot of Baltimore fans are piling on the Delaware grad right now. I say give him a break. After all, it wasn’t too long ago that he was still living in his parents basement driving a beat up old Ford Taurus wagon.

NY GIANTS (-10) over Miami – It would be so like the Giants to play down to their competition here. However, since these are the dysfunctional Dolphins, there’s a better chance of Tony Sparano getting fired during halftime than of Miami actually winning this game.

BUFFALO (-6) over Washington – Since Buffalo is allowed to play one game a year in Toronto, then I think it’s only fair for teams like Seattle and Minnesota to schedule a “home” game in Canada as well. Imagine how crazy Edmonton would go for Vikings/Cardinals.

Detroit (-3) over DENVER – I never really got into the whole planking thing. I always thought it was a little unsanitary to lay across the jewelry display at your local Macy’s. But I’ll tell you, this tebowing thing has some real potential.

New England (-3) over PITTSBURGH – At what point Sunday do you think we will be able to tell who Jim Nantz is pulling for? I say second quarter after Simms drops the 8th “Ben” of the day.

SAN FRANCISCO (-8.5) over Cleveland – The Browns are like gambling kryptonite. Doesn’t matter who you take in this game it will most certainly come back to haunt you. Speaking of haunting, really looking froward to my first Halloween as a father. Of course, my son is much to young to enjoy candy himself which means….more Take 5’s for me!!!!!

SEATTLE (+3) over Cincinnati – I hope the Seahawks are the next team to go back to their “old school” uniforms. It would bring back such fond memories of Dave Krieg and Steve Largent.

Dallas (+3.5) over PHILADELPHIA – I watched a few minutes of the Chuck Wepner documentary on ESPN and one thing was made abundantly clear; the Bayonne County Park is just not the same thing as the Philadelphia Art Museum.

San Diego (-3.5) over KANSAS CITY – I for one am a huge proponent of the playoff, or in the case of Chiefs head coach Todd Haley, winning streak beard. It’s a proven fact that unkempt facial hair is good for at least one or two victories a season.

Last Week 6-7 (Overall 56-47)

view from Sun Life Stadium courtesy of @akosnitzky

The Chicago Cubs Hire Eddie Vedder’s Best Friend to Run Baseball Operations

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Some will say that Theo left Boston after it was revealed how dysfunctional the Red Sox clubhouse had become in 2011. And sure, the endless hours of Black Ops in the catacombs of Fenway Park remain a disgrace for the entire Red Sox organization, it was nothing so egregious as to cost Epstein his job. Others will argue that after 10 years, and 2 World Series rings, he was looking for a new challenge in a different city. And while taking over a franchise that hasn’t won a World Series since 1908 presents its fair share of inherent obstacles, I’d like to believe that Epstein to the Cubs happened because of the simple fact that it is what Eddie Vedder wanted.

I’ll never forget my first ever Pearl Jam concert. Back in 2006, a buddy of mine who was a loyal member of the Ten Club managed to get us two floor seats for one of the bands Boston shows. As to be expected, it was a pretty great experience full of the traditional standbys like Even Flow, Corduroy, and Alive, along with enough anti “W” Vedder speak to antagonize the most conservative sect of Pearl Jam concert goers. During the encore, the band brought out a few friends to help them out with Uncle Neil’s Rockin’ In The Free World. Why Theo Epstein decided to take the stage in full disguise I’ll never know. But there he was, the Boston Red Sox GM jamming away next to lead guitarist Mike McCready.

Only later did I find out that Epstein was in fact a huge Pearl Jam fan and that he and Vedder had become pretty good friends throughout the years. And while a few persnickety Sox fans killed Theo for choosing a concert over Fenway Park, I always thought it was pretty cool that the guy wasn’t afraid to take a break from the daily grind and partake in the kind of seminal, life altering experience that would have made even Peter Gammons jealous.

Now I can’t tell you how Eddie Vedder became a Chicago Cubs fan. Whatever the backstory, the SoCal native’s passion for the Northsiders prompted Wrigley Field officials to invite him on several occasions to sing “Take Me Out To The Ball Game” during the 7th inning stretch. Vedder’s love for the Cubbies runs so deep that he even wrote a song about them.

Connecting the dots, it’s clear from this very simple algebra that one of the primary reasons Theo Epstein became the President of Baseball Operations for the Chicago Cubs was because of Eddie Vedder. And although I can’t guarantee you that Vedder will play an integral role in the pursuit of hotly contested free agent to be Albert Pujols, I can tell you to expect Pearl Jam to be one of the very first musical acts invited to serenade the Wrigley faithful during the 2012 season.

view from Ballpark in Arlington courtesy of @ravedelay

 

Quick Snaps: NFL Week 7

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Before getting into the NFL, here are just a few thoughts on the final drive of that Michigan St./Wisconsin instant classic from Saturday night.  1) When the Badgers couldn’t recover a Kurt Cousins fumble in Spartan terrority you just had to have the sense that this wasn’t going to be Wisconsin’s night. 2) And then head coach Brett Bielema started calling timeouts. I don’t understand why he was so compelled to win the game in regulation, especially considering that CFB has by far the fairest, most equitable overtime rules in all of sports. 3) Thanks to that extra time, MSU was able to launch a prayer towards the goal line…and we all know what happened after that. But what in the world was Wisconsin WR Jared Abbrederis doing in on defense? Why do coaches always think that an offensive player has a better chance of defending against the hail mary than an extra defensive back? I’m not trying to lay all the blame on Abbrederis, just hoping to shed a little light on a common case of overcoaching.

Quick Snaps

Falcons 23 Lions 16 – Matthew Stafford may be seriously hurt and Ndamukong Suh is a bully. So what’s new? Actually, I think we are all hoping that Stafford’s lower leg injury ends up being fairly benign. Without him, that Thanksgiving Day game against the Packers becomes a whole lot less interesting. If the Lions swoon continues, it’s going to be much harder to convince the wife and extended family that I’m unavailable for a last minute ingredient run due to a 1230 start from Ford Field.

Jets 27 Chargers 21 – Something just ain’t right with Philip Rivers. He was trying to squeeze the ball into double coverage all afternoon and that last drive he conducted was so out of tune that I began to wonder if the Chargers ever practiced the two minute drill. And wouldn’t it be just my fantasy football luck for Rivers to continue posting rather pedestrian numbers. On the other hand, Darrelle Revis played well again and we can only hope that Francesa has him back on the show sometime this week.

Chiefs 28 Raiders 0 – Well that didn’t go so well. If you’re the Raiders you have seen better days. If you’re Kyle Boller your days in Oakland may be numbered. And if you’re Carson Palmer, you’ve got a lot of work to do before regaining the confidence of Raider nation. The two Oakland QB’s combined for 6 total interceptions yesterday, 1 more than Cincinnati Benglas rookie signal caller Andy Dalton has thrown all year. Is it possible for a team to win even during their bye week?

Broncos 18 Dolphins 15 – You win Tim Tebow, you win. We’re all mere mortals simply just awaiting your instructions.

view from the Superdome courtesy of @_NatuRAL_Neci 

If Gambling Were Legal: NFL Week 7

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Chicago (-1) over Tampa Bay: The London game use to be a big deal, kind of like the league was showcasing itself just in case they decided to expand overseas. Now all we care about is whether or not Jay Cutler and Kristen Cavallari were spotted together shopping in Piccadilly Circus.

CAROLINA (-2.5) over Washington – Is the Republican Party really prepared to nominate a Mormon for President in 2012? Perhaps we’ll have our answer after we see how the nation’s capital embraces former BYU star, and now Redskins starting QB, John Beck.

San Diego (-2) over NY JETS: It’s safe to say that Mike Francesa will not be having Rex Ryan over for Thanksgiving dinner in Oyster Bay anytime soon. I’m not sure what precipitated such hostility between the irascible sports talk host and the boastful Jets head coach but whatever it was, the stench still lingers today. Just yesterday afternoon, Mike was having a grand old time ripping apart Rex for comments he made regarding Norv Turner and the San Diego Chargers. Jets fans have to be getting close to being fed up with their head coach.

CLEVELAND (-3) over Seattle: Of course LeBron James would be a nasty NFL receiver. All a quarterback would have to do is lob the ball towards the back pylon and let LeBron climb through the air like he was on a breakaway. Think Calvin Johnson with even more hops and the same number of championships.

TENNESSEE (-3) over Houston: Can you believe that the AFC South is going to come down to these two teams? And can you also believe that Matt Hasselbeck is carrying the Titans offense for Chris Johnson? That’s what I thought.

Denver (+1.5) over MIAMI: The Dolphins are really bad and should seriously consider, if they haven’t already, tanking games for Andrew Luck. Serious question, will there be more fans in Sun Life Stadium rooting for the Tim Tebow or the Miami Dolphins?

DETROIT (-3.5) over Atlanta: Why is Chrysler the only American car company to capitalize on the recent Detroit Rock City renaissance? Those ads featuring Eminem and Ndamukong Suh are incredibly effective. I was this close to leasing a LeBaron for my grandmother.

Kansas City (+4.5) over Oakland: Does this mean Jordan Palmer is coming to Oakland as well?

Pittsburgh (-3.5) over ARIZONA: Wasn’t it just two seasons ago that these teams faced one another in the Super Bowl? A lot has changed since then. Ben Roethlisberger got married and Kurt Warner left the Cardinals for the NFL Network. And here we were thinking Warner was the consumate. committed family man.

St. Louis (+12) over Dallas: When’s the last time that the World Series featured teams from cities that were also playing against one another in football at the same time? Seriously, somebody look this up for me.

Green Bay (-9) over MINNESOTA: Why does FOX continue to insist that this is the NFC game of the week? It’s going to be sometime before this rivalry regains the juice it had just a few years back when Benedict Favre was playing for the Vikings against former Packers protege Aaron Rodgers. Now innocent, naive rookie Christian Ponder gets thrown to wolves in his first ever NFL start. “Thanks a lot DONOVAN!!!”

NEW ORLEANS (-14) over Indianapolis: I’m really amazed more NFL coaches don’t get injured during a game. How is it possible that Andy Reid has made it through well over a decade on the sidelines for the Philadelphia Eagles without some special teamer taking out both ACL’s, MCL’s, and an appendix?  Poor Sean Payton. Now he knows what life is like for Joe Paterno.

Baltimore (-7.5) over JACKSONVILLE: What”s with these Harbaugh’s anyway? First John chest bumps a sideline official then brother Jim nearly starts a post game riot in Detroit. What’s next? Sister Joani, who is married to Indiana basketball coach Tom Crean, threatening to trim Bob Knight’s thick, lustrous eyebrows? Also, this is the worst MNF game since last week’s Miami/NY Jets instant classic.

Last Week 7-6 (Overall 50-40)

view from Arizona/UCLA courtesy of @craigjames32 

 

 

 

World Series Preview: Bush vs Busch

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Even though it’s not the Hatfield’s vs. the McCoy’s, this 2011 World Series between the St. Louis Cardinals and Texas Rangers does promise to be really really exciting for at least two isolated parts of the United States. For those living on either coast, I’m hearing really good things about Homeland on Showtime.

But seriously, all jokes aside, just because this Cardinals/Rangers series threatens to be the lowest rated World Series in television history does not mean that some people aren’t super jazzed up for this epic clash in America’s heartland. Take for example my friend Connor from St. Louis. Connor was 7 in 1982 when his Redbirds beat the Brewers to win the World Series. Flash forward 19 years and a liter of kids later and he’s sitting on the couch Sunday night with his 7 year old son watching as STL disposed of Milwaukee again, this time clinching the NL pennant.

Here’s where the story gets interesting. Connor has a good friend who in early September, when the Cardinals were 9 games out in the Wild Card, travelled down to Las Vegas and laid $250 on St. Louis to win the NL Championship at 500:1 odds. He won $125K Sunday night. While in Sin City, he also put another $250 on the Cards to win the World Series at 1000:1. Amazingly, he now sits 4 wins away from another $250K. There must be countless other stories out there similar to this, and maybe even a few that don’t involve high stakes sports betting.

And just to show you that there are multiple people who care about this World Series, I asked my buddy Dan, a diehard Cardinals fan, if he would rather win a World Series this season or re-sign Albert Pujols to a longterm deal in the offseason. Being the loyal fan that he is, and perhaps also afraid to anger the benevolent spirit of Jack Buck, Dan flat out refused to answer my question. So… let me do the dirty work for Cardinals fans. In the spirit of my hypothetical question, if you take Pujols long term what you are basically saying is that the Cardinals will win multiple championships after this season which seems highly unlikely considering the age of your hall of fame first baseman as well as the contract status of resident svengali Tony La Russa. Even though Dan can’t say it, I’m willing to bet that most Cardinals fans would rather win the World Series this year and take their chances with Carlos Pena for the next 4 seasons after that. Come to think about it…

And finally, a very quick scouting report. On paper these are two very equal teams each with deep lineups, adequate starting pitching, and stellar bullpens. Both managers, Ron Washington and Tony La Russa command the respect of their players even though Washington has been prone to partake in some recent involuntary breakdancing.

I predict the Cardinals win in 7, Lance Berkman is your World Series MVP, and Pujols takes a massive pay cut to sign with the Baltimore Orioles this offseason. How does that sound to you Dan?

view from Miller Park courtesy of @BIGCATWOOWOO