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The “I Don’t Know What I’m Talking About” Week 17 NFL Picks

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A couple of quick things before we get into the Week 17 picks. First, why didn’t Wisconsin run the ball on that 2 point conversion?  The undersized/athletic TCU defense could not stop the mammoth Badger offensive line all game. Second, my NFL picks have been getting progressively worse since we started this venture back in Week 11.  Maybe I can’t handle the pressure of public expectations.  Whatever the case, view these Week 17 picks with caution.

view of Rose Bowl Game courtesy of @TheTeditorial

KANSAS CITY (-3.5) over Oakland: “Tailgating and good BBQ.  That’s what Arrowhead Stadium is known for!!!”

NEW ENGLAND (-4) over Miami: I understand the Pats have already locked up the #1 seed. But, what exactly are the Dolphins playing for this week?

INDIANAPOLIS (-9.5) over Tennessee: I could watch the video of Peyton Manning sliding on the 2 yard line over and over and over again.  Perhaps the dorkiest thing he has every done on a football field.

HOUSTON (-3) over Jacksonville: I think I would rather watch a replay of the Beef O’Brady’s Bowl than any game featuring Trent Edwards (as the entire city of Buffalo gives a collective nod of the head).

Pittsburgh (-5.5) over CLEVELAND: When Gov. Ed Rendell caught word of the NHL moving the Winter Classic to a later hour he compared Gary Bettman to Julian Assange.

BALTIMORE (-9.5) over Cincinnati: Ravens are poised to ruin my 2011 playoff experience.

Minnesota (+3) over DETROIT: The abandoned buildings of Detroit.  Apocalypse Now.

NY Giants (-4) over WASHINGTON: This is the only game Fox is giving the NYC metro area.  I would need Direct TV in order to watch the Pack/Bears game. Yuck.

GREEN BAY (-10) over Chicago: Once the Packers win and clinch a playoff spot, I’m predicting that nearly 1/2 of all football “experts” will pick them to reach the Superbowl.

Dallas (+6.5) over PHILADELPHIA: Every American is entitled to their own opinion. However, Tucker Carlson you’re embarrassing yourself. Everyone knows that public stonings are no longer permitted in the United States.

NY JETS (-1.5) over Buffalo: Lost in all the Rex Ryan foot fetish craze is an undeniably profitable marketing opportunity.

Carolina (+14.5) over ATLANTA: For pride Panthers. For pride!

Tampa Bay (+7.5) over NEW ORLEANS: Bucs miss playoffs by a game and make a huge statement in the process.

Arizona (+6) over SAN FRANCISCO: Count me down as one of the many people who will miss the highly erratic, never dull head coaching career of Mike Singletary.

DENVER (+3.5) over San Diego: Tebow mic’d up vs Texans…pretty sweet.

St. Louis (-3) over SEATTLE: Charlie Whitehurst looks like a strange combination of Koy Detmer and Jesus Christ. Total points: 42

Last week: 7-9

Captain’s Choice: NFL Week 17 Rankings

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This week, we are trying out a new format for our NFL rankings post.  We are starting something called Captain’s Choice where VMS and a guest take turns ranking the top ten teams in the NFL. We hope this will turn into a regular feature, even after the NFL season ends.  For the inaugural Captain’s Choice I have enlisted the help of….my Dad.  Now, a few things you should know about him before we start. First off, he grew up in Baltimore and was heartbroken when the Colts moved to Indianapolis in 1983.  He has since adopted the Patriots as his favorite NFL team.  Secondly, he fully supports the comments made by Ed Rendell and will tell you that American’s have been getting “soft” for decades.  I’m not sure how this will affect his rankings but it will definitely come up somewhere.

view courtesy of @justinlesko

1. New England Patriots (13-2) VMS: I can’t understand how Brandon Meriweather made the Pro Bowl.  Nobody bypasses the interception for the 15 yard unecessary roughness penalty like #31.

2. New Orleans Saints (11-4) Dad: I like the championship pedigree plus the potential for a Drew Brees/Tom Brady Superbowl.

3. Baltimore Ravens (11-4) VMS: Call it a hangover from 2009-10 but I give the Ravens the best chance this year of coming into Foxboro and beating the Patriots in the playoffs.

4. Pittsburgh Steelers (11-4) Dad: Experience plus Polamalu make the Steelers a tough out come January. Of even greater concern, what’s the latest on the New Year’s Day weather for the Winter Classic at Heinz Field?

5. Atlanta Falcons (12-3) VMS: I was not impressed with the Falcons on Monday night.  Matt Ryan seemed to miss a lot of open receivers and their offense could not capitalize on a few New Orleans mistakes.

6. Green Bay Packers (9-6) Dad: Love their quarterback and think they will be the most difficult wild card team to knock out of the playoffs.

7. Philadelphia Eagles (10-5) VMS: Maybe Ed Rendell was right, the Chinese probably would have played through Game 3 of the 1989 World Series as well.

8. Chicago Bears (11-4) Dad: Their defense is good and they have the wild card of all wild cards in Devin Hester.  Special teams wins championships.

9. Kansas City Chiefs (10-5) VMS: I’m looking forward to watching this team play during Wild Card weekend. Double Dwayne Bowe damn near saved my fantasy season.

10. New York Jets (10-5) Dad: When things are right their defense is pretty good.  They have a world class receiver in Santonio Holmes and a potentially serviceable quarterback in Mark Sanchez.

Honorable Mention: Indianapolis Colts, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, San Diego Chargers, and New York Giants.

Thanks to my Dad for helping me out with the first ever Captain’s Choice post.  Let us know if you want to be a future captain and, as always, share your views.

The Governor of Pennsylvania Wants You to Finish Your Push-Ups

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By far my favorite sports related story of the Blizzard of 2010 was Ed Rendell’s reaction to the NFL postponing the Eagles/Vikings game until tonight.  The Governor of Pennsylvania said, and I am not paraphrasing, “We’ve become a nation a wusses. The Chinese are kicking our butt in everything. If this were China do you think the Chinese would have called off the game?” For starters, I applaud Gov. Rendell for speaking his mind.  We live in a PC/cover your ass world and it’s refreshing anytime someone dare go near that line. However, with all due respect to the Governor, the Chinese would have definitely called off Sunday night’s game.

Now, while I can’t quite comment on the quality of snow removal machines in Sichuan Province, I can tell you that with all the snow and wind falling in Philadelphia Sunday night, it would have been next to impossible to reach Lincoln Financial Field. Not only that, but once you reach the stadium, where would you park your car?  Logistically speaking, unless all 80K ticketholders were traveling to the game on cross country skis, there would have had nowhere to put them.

So Governor Rendell, while the Chinese remain vastly superior in calculus, Americans will sit on their couches tonight and enjoy themselves some Tuesday night football live from Philadelphia, PA.

Share your views.

View courtesy of @TCtourMgmt

View My Picks: Week 16

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PITTSBURGH (-14.5) over Carolina: If you’re a Panthers fan, do you want your team to lose the next two weeks to ensure yourselves the #1 pick and Andrew Luck in next year’s NFL draft?

Dallas (-6.5) over ARIZONA: I had no idea that John Skelton, QB for the Cardinals, went to Fordham. I had no idea Fordham even had a football program.

MIAMI (-3.5) over Detroit: It feels like the Dolphins have played at least 15 home games this year, and lost every single one of them.

Minnesota (+14.5) over PHILADELPHIA: I’m going with rookie Joe Webb on the road. I’M GOING WITH ROOKIE JOE WEBB ON THE ROAD.

JACKSONVILLE (-7) over Washington: Reason No. 48 that you know your career as a starting QB in the NFL is over… your head coach believes that Rex Grossman and John Beck give the team a better chance at winning than you do.

ST. LOUIS (-2.5) over San Francisco: I have no problem with a 7-9 team making the playoffs.  I wish the same were true in the MLB. Then my Orioles may finally have a chance of playing October baseball again.

TAMPA BAY (-6) over Seattle: Every year, there’s that one team you just can’t figure out.  The Seahawks are that team for me this season. I swear I have picked each of their games incorrectly this year. Sorry Josh Freeman, looks like you won’t be covering the spread this game.

BUFFALO (+8) over New England: If Buffalo were in the NFC West this year, what would their record have been? 10-6, 9-7, or 8-8?

New York Jets (+1) over CHICAGO: Top to bottom, Jets are a better football team.  Word to the wise Steve Weatherford, don’t punt the ball to Devin Hester.

Baltimore (-3.5) over CLEVELAND: The NFC North will go down to week 17.

KANSAS CITY (-6) over Tennessee: If the Chiefs make the playoffs, are they underdogs at home to either the Ravens/Steelers/Jets?

Indianapolis (-3) over OAKLAND: Let me just say, I feel really bad for Austin Collie. Dude probably shouldn’t have been playing last week anyway.

Houston (-2.5) over DENVER: Allow me to be the 1,000,000,001 sports fan to way in on the Tim Tebow regime in Denver.  Inspirational leader, hard worker who can’t possibly make all the throws he needs to make himself a successful NFL quarterback.

New York Giants (+3) over GREEN BAY: Sunday’s forecast for Aaron Rodgers…cloudy with a chance of double vision.

San Diego (-7.5) over CINCINNATI: I no longer trust Carson Palmer with the back door cover.

ATLANTA (-2.5) over New Orleans: Atlanta > Baltimore + Baltimore > New Orleans = Atlanta > New Orleans

Last week: 7-9

Views courtesy of @jenny1027 and @RyanMcLane1

The “Bad Weather is Good For TV Ratings” Week 16 NFL Power Poll

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The Minnesota Vikings should play all of their home games outdoors. An outdoor NFL stadium in the Twin Cities would have provide serious home field advantages.  I bet if you polled Viking fans they would tell you the same thing.  The problem for Minnesota is, who’s going to pay for the new stadium? The state is facing an enormous amount of debt, which makes public financing basically out of the question.  This is why I have said that the Vikings are a prime candidate to relocate.  Sorry Minnesota, if a new stadium isn’t built I fear that your team could be headed out to the West Coast. Other potential candidates for relocation include Jacksonville, Oakland, and San Diego.

For now, here’s my Week 16 NFL Power Poll

1. New England Patriots (12-2): John Kuhn is going to give me nightmares for weeks.

2. Atlanta Falcons (12-2): What are the chances that Atlanta ends up hosting Michael Vick and the Philadelphia Eagles in the NFC Championship Game?

3. Baltimore Ravens (10-4): My wife’s new favorite movie is The Blindside, which means she is now obligated to now root for Michael Oher and the Ravens.

4. Philadelphia Eagles (10-4): Think the City of Brotherly Love has yet to fully embrace Vick? Check out this video from the Sixers/Lakers game last week.

5. Pittsburgh Steelers (10-4): Their chance are totally contingent on the health of Troy Polamalu. Without him, I wouldn’t be surprised to see them exit the playoffs early.

6. New Orleans Saints (10-4): Feel like I haven’t heard/seen much of this team since their Thanksgiving Day victory in Dallas.  I’m picking them to beat the Falcons next weekend in Atlanta.

7. San Diego Chargers (8-6): Chargers should be forced by league rule to wear their powder blue uniforms at home AND on the road.

8. Chicago Bears (10-4): Game on the line. Who would you rather punt to? DeSean Jackson or Devin Hester?

9. New York Jets (10-4): New York sports radio has a quintessential love/hate relationship with Rex Ryan and the Jets. All except for Mike Francesa who pretty much just dislikes everything about the J-E-T-S.

10. Green Bay Packers (8-6): Tell me again why the Packers didn’t feature John Kuhn on their last drive of the game?  Patriots had no answer for him.

Share your views.