View My Seats

At the Intersection of Sports and Culture

Photo Credit for Header: Alex Foucre-Stimes

NBA Hyperbole: The Most Fun, Exciting Finals Ever

by

Thunder in 6. Oklahoma gets its first championship since the Josh Heupel led Sooners won the BCS Championship back in Y2K. Kevin Durant is your finals MVP outplaying a physically exhausted LeBron James who begins to look like Quasimodo after carrying his Heat teammates, including Dwyane Wade, through the Eastern Conference Finals. Basketball is a team sport after all and there is only so much the most physically talented player in the world can do on his own before requiring a little help from his friends. The Thunder Triumvirate of Durant, Russell Westbrook, and James Harden have clearly defined roles and typically lack the sort of conceit that could inspire a hostile takeover and change Loud City from a republic to a dictatorship.

Speaking of an iron fist, OKC fans are lucky Michael Bloomberg is not in charge of their arena.  There’s a reason Thunder fans have gone gaga for their team and it’s a combination of vacant social calendars and the consumption of copious amounts of sugar and caffeine. Enter liberal meanie Mayor Mike and what would Loud City do without their super sized caramel macchiato from Angie’s Bakery or 850 calorie hushpuppy basket from Blue Harbor? It’ll take more than whole grains and green tea to quiet the Chesapeake Energy Arena as the Thunder will be able to ride their boisterous crowd all the way to the victory parade past the stockyards.

But the main event or marquee matchup that everyone is talking about is LeBron vs Durant. A quick glance at the tale of the tape and this showdown could be much closer than we even realize. Both are deadly scorers with LeBron being most lethal in the transition while KD is an absolute assassin coming off a high screen and occasionally stepping back to drain a demoralizing three. James is the superior athlete but Durant fans shouldn’t think this a slight as it is a unsubstantiated rumor that LeBron is in fact an android sent back in time by Cyberdyne as part of an elaborate gambling scheme involving John Connor, Bob Arum, and Top Rank Promotions. If they end up guarding one another then KD’s theater curtain length wingspan could very well block LeBron’s view of the basket but then again both players are such good passers that this series will probably come down to the supporting casts.

And this is where OKC has the advantage. The Thunder’s second unit, led by James Harden and his Karl Marx inspired facial hair, will be able to hold it’s own against even the Miami starting 5 which means LeBron and Wade cannot afford to take their normal rest for fear that the Thunder subs would run all over the Miami bench. By game 3, when the series shifts back to South Beach, the Big Three will need to borrow oxygen masks from the fine folks over at Del Boca Vista just to get through the half.

A lot of coaches and commentators have been arguing that OKC’s clunky bigs like Kendrick Perkins are going to have a time time keeping up with LeBron and Wade and if you can make the Thunder smaller then the matchup favors Miami. Serge Ibaka is not a clunky big and his shot blocking ability should make it harder for the Heat to get to the basket. That is of course if the refs let them play which is such a subjective proposition that even your local bookie isn’t entirely comfortable accepting your bet.

One thing’s for sure, these NBA Finals are bound to be compelling television. And if not, there’s always the Euro 2012.

view from Staples Center courtesy of @lookitskelvin

Old Balls And Sharp Elbows: Making A Case For The Boston Celtics

by

All the arthritis and soft tissue damage in the world couldn’t help the Celtics overcome a virtuoso performance from LeBron James and company as the spry, agile legs of the Heat outlasted the decrepit Celtics 93-79 in game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals Monday night. And while the geriatric wing of the NBA playoffs attempts to recover in time for game 2 Wednesday night, it’s important to note that in the hyper competitive world of pickup basketball, sometimes advanced age is a positive attribute. Of course, the NBA playoffs are a decididly different animal than your average game of shirts v skins but there is still an important case to be made for the veteran Boston Celtics in their series against the Miami Heat.

To begin with, old guys are much more efficient and effective stretchers. They usually manage to hit all the major muscles groups including the elusive yet essential latissimus dorsal. Anyone who has ever pulled a lat will tell you that the pain is absolutely excruciating. It’s as if someone jammed a dull butter knife in the center of your lower back. Old guys know this and will do whatever it takes to avoid such a debilitating injury, even if their warmup routine begins to resemble something out of The Cable Guy.

When it comes to a younger players approach to stretching perhaps Austin Milbarge said it best when he stated, “We mock what we don’t understand“. When you think about it, young hoopsters are like virgins. They simply do not understand that basketball, like sex, is much more of a marathon than a sprint. The only way to learn this is to first disappoint enough partners until you get to the point where you can’t find anyone else to play with and end up dribbling by yourself for hours. But back to basketball for a second, pull a lat muscle a few times and you’ll realize that proper planning and preparation prevents piss poor performance. The ancient Celtics realize this which is why guys like Ray Allen begin their warmup 4-5 hours before tipoff.

Speaking of Ray Allen, old guys know how to manage their injuries. Boston’s veteran sharpshooter has more spurs in his ankle than the entire San Antonio roster and can get zero lift on his jump shots, even free throws. Yet Ray is still out there playing through the pain, giving his team every opportunity to advance to the NBA FInals. Knee braces, rec specs, fish oil. Old guys will do whatever it takes to keep playing. That’s because time is of the essence and as players get closer to that dreaded expiration date they try to squeeze every last opportunity out of their weathered, atrophied bodies. Conversely, younger players think protective gear is a sign of weakness. You don’t see Chris Bosh out there with a kevlar vest do you?

Also, old guys understand their limitations and have a general disdain for unnecessary hustle.  Dive out of bounds for loose balls? No thanks. Chest bump a teammates after every made free throw? What a waste of energy. (Actually, this last one is not 100% true because if you watch the Boston Celtics during their starting lineup introductions they look like the cast from a Twyla Tharp musical.) In general, old guys like Paul Pierce know how to conserve energy for when it matters most like when taking a fade away 18 footer with a defender in his face or when trying to prevent LeBron from averaging 35 points/12 rebounds/7 assists this series. Weekend warriors are very similar to Pierce with the only exception being that it can be next to impossible to get old guys to play any kind of defense during these pickup games.

Old guys are direct with their feelings and not overtly passive aggressive. Take Kevin Garnett. He’s demanding of his teammates but in a fatherly sort of way where he’ll berate players in a productive almost clandestine fashion so as not to expose them to the ire and scrutiny of the camera. On the exact opposite end of the spectrum is the the Lebron James Mario Chalmers relationship. It’s hard not to feel bad for the young Miami point guard when LeBron is visibly up his you know what just about every time Chalmers makes a mistake. If you were a lip reader what you’d see Chalmers saying to LeBron is, “look I’m so sorry but I promise never to do it again so will you please stop making me feel bad in front of the national television audience“.

Old guys are not afraid to tell you what they want and could give a rats ass what you think about them. From passing them the ball on the outlet to calling for a high screen, weekend warriors have been around the block long enough where they simply no longer fear confrontation. Younger players are by nature too passive agressive. They won’t tell you what they want so much as bitch about you behind your back to your teammates.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, old guys are unaware of their surroundings and rarely unnerved by the spotlight. Veteran basketball players are like champion race horses. You wont see I’ll Have Another staring off into the infield paddock during the Belmont Stakes looking for a nice unattached Long Island bred filly to cozy up to after the race. Vets like Pierce, Garnett, and Allen have seen it all before and will not be bashful in light of intense media scrutiny and pressure.

With LeBron and the Heat we just don’t know. One of the knocks against the best basketball player in the world is that he is just too sensitive and cares too much about what other people think. It’s probably an unfair criticism but take a look at LeBron next time something goes wrong. He always seems to be staring off into the first few rows of the stands, like he’s constantly seeking approval from Pat Riley, Mav Carter, or maybe even Jimmy Buffett. Again, older guys don’t look around cause time if of the essence and they don’t care about what anyone else thinks. During pickup games, do you really think your CPA Frank is distracted by the fact that the health club hasn’t restocked the men’s locker room with fresh towels? Of course not. That’s because Frank is old and old guys don’t care if they have fresh towels because they would just assume drip dry even if it means they’ll have to expose themselves in front of unassuming fellow club members on their way to the racquetball courts.

Old guys don’t care which is why the Boston Celtics have a chance against the Miami Heat.

view from Spurs/Thunder game 2 courtesy of @lilmiggs47

Matt Bonner Is The Most Interesting Man In The NBA Playoffs

by

With the Western Conference Finals between the San Antonio Spurs and the Oklahoma City Thunder set to begin this Sunday night now seems like the perfect time to remind NBA fans about the one player that could possibly make the largest impact in this series. Kevin Durant you say? Try again. Tim Duncan? That old coot is still in the league? Russell Westbrook? Tony Parker? No thanks and no chance. Actually, the correct answer to this question was born and raised in the capital of New Hampshire, Concord’s own Matt Bonner. And before you runoff and dismiss this conclusion as a simple case of Granite State “homerism”, please take 5-10 minutes to consider the following analysis.

For starters, if you didn’t already know who Matt Bonner was, something surely no self respecting NBA fan would claim, he was in the news recently when a fellow redhead was suspended from a local San Antonio middle school after showing up for his first period French class with Bonner’s beautiful visage carved into the back of his head like he was some sort of Halloween pumpkin. It’s not just any ordinary NBA player that has the ability to inspire such peaceful civil disobedience. Whatever barber was responsible for such artistry deserves an incredible amount of credit and perhaps a full ride to RISD. This is the sort of follicle craftsmanship unmatched since the “U Can’t Touch This” heyday of MC Hammer.

And speaking of carrot-tops, with all due respect to Brian Scalabrine, Matt Bonner is the best player in the NBA with red hair. In fact, he may be the best basketball player of all time with red hair. (And no, Dennis Rodman does not count.) It’s actually quite difficult to think about another current athlete who has had as successful a professional career as Bonner. Not Andy Dalton and certainly not Greg McElroy.

With Bonner it’s also about the brains beneath the hair. He graduated from the University of Florida with a 3.98 GPA and was a 3 time Academic All-American and twice voted Academic All-American of the Year. Bonner is such a respected intellect/inspirational leader that he was elected by his peers to serve as one of the main reps for the NBA players union during the latest labor dispute. Check the video, Bonner was usually one of the first players seen lurking loyally behind Derek Fisher and Billy Hunter, he of the worst case of nepotism since Bill Belichick hired his son as an assistant coach for the Patriots.

This debate can all but be settled on the basketball court where Matt Bonner is the master craftsman of the 3 pointer, even though his shooting mechanics put him somewhere between the finger flicks of Shawn Marion and the slider spin of Joakim Noah. And so what if it looks like he learned how to shoot a basketball by practicing on one of those Fisher Price $24.99 specials suitable for kids 5 and under. Knock the style all you want but with Bonner the proof is in the porridge and over the last 5 or so years he has been one of the best 3 point shooters in the NBA. He led the league in 2010-11 making roughly 46% of his bombs from behind the arc and during this truncated regular season Bonner finished 15th in the league shooting a measly 42%. Just to give you some perspective, that’s better than both James Harden and Kevin Durant. Not too shabby for a guy from New Hampshire who looks like he learned how to shoot by watching Rade Butcher in Hoosiers.

And while it may be true that Bonner has become somewhat of a defensive liability due to his lack of lateral quickness you can’t really fault the guy. He is after all wearing New Balance basketball sneakers. As we all know New Balance has become the official shoe of antique furniture refurbishers from Brooklyn, Canadians, and fathers over the age of 55. When dads reach the appropriate age they are each sent a pair of white 622’s which they are then required to sport whenever walking through airports or amusement parks. And while Bonner’s NB’s are a bit more stylish than your dads, has there ever been a more perfect pitchman for the New England based shoe behometh than a 6’10” guy with red hair from New Hampshire?

The fact that Matt Bonner is occasionally lost in the San Antonio shuffle of a incredibly deep Spurs rotation is more a testament to the front office’s foresight in scouting out hidden global gems than it is his ability to contribute to the team. Bonner is such a classy team player that he doesn’t mind sharing the stage with valuable role players like Tiago Splitter, Gary Neal, DeJuan Blair, and Captain Jack. He doesn’t need to play more than 15 solid minutes a game to make a difference. For the Spurs, it’s all about running their offensive sets. Bonner is the master of the high pick and pop where Tony Parker rubs his defender off a screen and either takes the ball all the way to the basket or kicks it out to Bonner for a wide open 3 pt attempt. Bonner is also an excellent rebounder who has a nose for the long distance offensive putback. When it comes to understanding angles and geometry he might not be Kevin Love but he’s certainly gives the glass more effort than the always mercurial and mystifyingly talented Andrew Bynum.

The Oklahoma City Thunder have a very important decision to make other than what monochromatic color pattern they’re going to arm their rabid fans with. Head coach Scotty Brooks needs to figure out how they are going to guard Matt Bonner. Do the Thunder go big or small against the oversized three point assassin? Each strategy has its flaws. If you match up with a bigger more physical post player like a Kendrick Perkins or Serge Ibaka then you provide the “quicker” Bonner with much more room to operate around the 3pt line. You also keep the NBA’s best shot blocker Ibaka away from the front of the rim thus allowing slashers like Parker and Manu Ginobili to glide to the the basket unfettered and unmolested.

So the Thunder could decide to go small on Bonner putting a hybrid like Thabo Sefolosha, James Harden or Durant on him. Again, by matching up a guard on Bonner you have effectively created mismatches across the court. Who then is going to guard Ginobili? Or what about the uber athletic Kawhi Leonard who is becoming a devastating 3 point shooter in his own right?

Matt Bonner’s greatest asset to San Antonio is his ability to create mismatches on the offensive end of the court. Gregg Popovich and the Spurs have had to live with Bonner’s defensive liabilities before and they will not allow themselves to be cut to pieces when he guards the offensively limited Perkins or Nick Collison. With Bonner, the upside far outweighs any inadequacies. What else would you expect from a 6’10” redhead from New Hampshire?

view from the Wells Fargo Center courtesy of @drewtheBARBER

Bandwagon Backlash In The World’s Most Famous Arena

by

Since when did New York Rangers fans become such elitists? All you hear from the 19,000 or so hockey diehards in NYC is how annoyed they have become by all the “new” Rangers fans that have started to emerge from the various high rises and brownstones now that the team has reached the Eastern Conference Finals for the first time since 1994 . It’s like these precious few hardcore Rangers fans are all members of Skull and Bones each with their own Amex black card and a personalized Friars Club jacket. NHL Hockey is really not that hard to understand after all (even without the glow in the dark puck) thanks in large part to the soothing harmonic analysis of Doc Emrick who has a way of explicating even the most convoluted of scrums and line changes.

Furthermore, as a society we need to come together and do a better job of defining the term “bandwagon fan”. What exactly is the etymology of the term “bandwagon fan”? Is it similar to the root/story behind expressions like “dark horse” and “scapegoat”? Whatever the case may be, this phrase conjures way too many negative connotations and late arriving fans are generally underserving of such scrutiny and disdain. Is there really anything wrong with supporting a team only when they are successful? No offense to hockey “hardos” but it is not as if you needed to watch every single New York Rangers regular season game to be able to appreciate and understand the impressive run the team has been on en route to their Eastern Conference Finals series against the New Jersey Devils. There are certain things that even a “bandwagon fan” can decipher.

For instance, it doesn’t take a diehard New York Rangers fan to notice that Henrik Lundqvist isn’t just a pretty face. With all due respect to Bryant Gumbel, there is a whole lot more to the Rangers goalie than his steely blue eyes and perfect pitch strumming on the six string. Lundqvist has kept his team in games with some picturesque “pad stacking” and cat like reflexes obtained during long, cold winters on the fjord. The one knock on Lundqvist is that he can be beat glove side but it easy to overlook the Swedes shortcomings when he’s busy perfecting his newest look.

You don’t need to be a diehard with a Stefan Matteau jersey to tell that the Rangers boast one of the youngest, most talented rosters in the NHL. The strength of their team, beyond Hank, is a quartet of defenders: Dan Girardi, Michael Del Zotto, Ryan McDonagh, and Marc Staal. All of these blueliners are both spry and supremely gifted. Girardi, whose face is slowly beginning to resemble that of Peter Boyle in Young Frankenstein, has come up with several timely goals in the playoffs including an absolute laser beam of a slap shot in Game 1 against the New Jersey Devils.

Then there is McDonagh, the American with an Irish last name from the Twin Cities who played his college hockey in Wisconsin. Quite a memorable journey for such a dual threat who has been called upon to shutdown Alex Ovechkin and now Ilya Kovalchuk. Some people even think that McD has the type of offensive game to remind fans of Ranger great Brian Leetch. Marc Staahl and Michael Del Zotto have both logged a significant amount of time on the ice during this postseason because they play with the type of physical style and controlled aggression that John Tortorella loves and appreciates.

Speaking of the Rangers head coach, you don’t need to be a diehard fan to understand that Torts is an absolute lunatic. If you were to settle on just one adjective to describe  John Tortorella what would it be? Intense? Ornery? Combustable? Passive aggressive? Whatever the term, there are many players, or reporters for that matter, who do not want to end up on his bad side. Torts blood runs hot. Like eruption of Mount Vesuvius lava hot. His players are like the innocent Roman citizens of Pompeii who coexist peacefully until the moment their coach heats up and explodes with anger, burying the team in 10 minutes of volcanic ash and vitriol. Torts is also like that disapproving father that kids spend their whole lives seeking approval from. This phylum of coach works for a young team like the Rangers but the schtick can wear thin when dealing with a much more seasoned group.

Back to the youth movement for a second, you don’t need to be a Ranger diehard to see that Chris Kreider has the potential to be the most explosive player on the ice. When he picks up a full head of steam he looks like Devin Hester returning a punt. His speed is without parallel, perhaps only matched by fellow winger Carl Hagelin who might be just as fast as Kreider but lacks a lot of the same size and physicality and is often pushed off the puck by larger defenders. Again, even a bandwagoner can figure this stuff out.

You don’t need to be a Ranger diehard to notice that with his facial hair Brian Boyle looks like he should be filming Young Guns 3 with Emilio Estevez and Lou Diamond Philips or that Ryan Callahan plays with the same type of will and tenacity as a former Rangers captain who also happened to date Madonna. Just about any fan can tell that Brad Richards get super pissed off when the referees tells him to get out of the faceoff circle for premature “faceoffing” or that Mike Rupp is a high stick away from enciting a riot across the Holland Tunnel the scale by which we haven’t seen since the time Sylvester Stallone saved Judging Amy from the rising waters of the mighty Hudson.

And finally, you don’t have to be a Ranger or hockey diehard to realize that the Los Angeles Kings have gone 10-1 in the playoffs thanks largely to the play of their goaltender Jonathan Quick. The Milford, CT native, and Avon Old Farms alum, has stacked the City of Angels on his pads and led them to within 2 games of the Stanley Cup Finals. A Western Conference Championship would be the Kings first since 1993 when the team was led by the Great One and this great mullet. Not that the Rangers are already looking past the Devils but you don’t need to be a diehard fan to understand that in hockey the only thing that matters is the Stanley Cup. Even a bandwagon fan knows that.

view from Kings/Coyotes Game 2 courtesy of @tsontakislaw

A Tip Of The Cap To Josh Hamilton

by

After Josh Hamilton hit his 4th and final home run Tuesday night I couldn’t help but feel a deep sense of despair and foreboding. As an Orioles fan Tuesday night was all about reality setting in after what has been an alarmingly hot start for the Birds. Over the first two games of the series, Hamilton and the Rangers brought Baltimore to their knees, completely exposing the team’s young, overachieving pitching staff. Tuesday night sadly, and somewhat temporarily, wiped away much of the momentum and enthusiasm gained after a great 5-1 road trip over the Yankees and Red Sox. Now it feels like the Orioles must clean out the cobwebs before spiraling into an all too familiar descent towards another sub .500 season.

As time passed, and Tuesday night turned into Wednesday morning, I realized that by wallowing in my Oriole sadness I was effectively minimizing the historic accomplishment of Josh Hamilton. Whatever you may think about Hamilton the person as he continues to wage a very public battle against the relentless demons of addiction, Hamilton the baseball player deserves a heaping pile of praise and platitudes for becoming the 16th major leaguer ever to hit 4 HRs in a game, the last being Carlos Delgado in 2003. Just to give you a sense of what a rarity 4 HRs in a MLB game is, there have been 20 no-hitters and 3 perfect games thrown over that same span of time. Of the 16 players to hit 4 in one game only 5 (Delahanty, Gehrig, Klein, Mays, Schmidt) have been elected to the Hall of Fame. Hamilton has his fair share of scars but you do not need to understand the person to respect the talent.

Josh Hamilton also has the sweetest swing in baseball, maybe even the best since Ken Griffey Jr was lighting up the Kingdome in the 90s. Hamilton’s swing doesn’t just look easy and effortless, it IS easy and effortless. Turn on a game and notice all of the current players whose overly mechanized swings amount to the total antithesis of any approach Ted Williams advocated for in The Science of Hitting. Watch Hamilton swing and notice how quiet his lower half remains through contact. He has the innate ability to stay balanced and maintain a significant amount of power behind the ball. His path to contact avoids any major parabolic detours while traveling in a straight line from point A to point B.

Because 4 HRs in a MLB game is such a rare occurrence, think Haley’s Comet or Tiger Woods contending in a major, it is important to break down each of Hamilton’s at bats Tuesday night to see if we can figure out just what makes the Rangers five tool superstar so good.

1st inning: Runner on first base and one out. Clean count and Orioles “ace” Jake Arrieta loops a hanging curveball over the heart of the plate which Hamilton summarily dismisses over the outstretched arms of Adam Jones as if he were sending back an undercooked ribeye . If there is such a thing as a book on Hamilton it’s that he’s a well known connoisseur of first pitch fastballs which is why more and more pitchers are starting him off with something offspeed. Problem is, when you leave your curveball up in the hitting zone instead of burying it below the knees you allow a slugger of Hamilton’s ilk, or really any professional hitter worth their salt for that matter, to extend his arms and drive the ball deep into the outfield. 8 times out of 10 he hits that spinner from Arrieta out onto Eutaw Street.

3rd inning: With two outs and a runner on first base, Arrieta falls behind in the count 2-0 before unleashing a really tidy 93 mph two seamer which tails away from the left handed hitting Hamilton. Most batters either take the strike over the black and wait for a better pitch to hit or drop the barrel of the bat and pop the ball up to the shortstop. Unfortunately for Arrieta, Hamilton is not most batters and on this particular pitch he is able to keep his hands inside the baseball making contact deep in the zone and driving the pitch into the left field seats for an opposite field homerun. His second of the evening. Unbelievable patience and balance.

7th inning: Zach Phillips is brought in from the bullpen for the statistically favorable lefty on lefty matchup. But Josh Hamilton is not your average left handed hitting platoon player. What makes him so successful against lefty pitching is his ability to keep his front side closed and head on the ball. That and an inordinate amount of natural ability and baseball instinct. Hit it where it’s pitched.  Phillips must not have been watching the first inning as he serves a 0-1 curveball that Hamilton crushes into the right/center bleachers. 3rd homer of the night for Hamilton and he is now one away from tying the record. Question is, if you’re the Baltimore Orioles, how do you even let it come to that?

The Big Leagues are full of player codes and unwritten do’s and don’t. Don’t bunt to break up a no hitter. Don’t steal the catchers signs. Don’t scream “I got it” to a third baseman when rounding the bases on a routine pop up. (see: ARod). Another of those unwritten rules could very well be that when opposing a player who has already hit 3 HRs in a game you must challenge them with strikes and not simply throw an unintentional intentional walk simply to avoid going down in the history books.

8th inning: So much for pitching around history.  Clearly Darren O’Day was undeterred by the record books as Hamilton drives an 83 MPH submarine ball into the center field ivy for his 4th home run of the game. O’Day was up 0-2 on Hamilton before leaving some sort of softball style changeup out over the plate. Why he even threw a strike in that situation is beyond me but poor location should not obscure what was a seminal performance by one of baseballs best. And to recap, Hamilton finishes the night 5-5 with 4 HRs, a double, and 8 RBI. Not too shabby for a player whose contract expires at the end of the 2012 season.

Speaking of Hamilton’s contract status, it’s really hard to imagine that the 31 year old won’t be able to command the same type of payday as Prince Fielder and Albert Pujols this coming offseason. Of course, with any Hamilton contract discussion comes questions about his health and past issues with substance abuse. The Texas Rangers have continued to do right by Hamilton but I’m sure there are more than a handful of teams with the resources and support system to lure Hamilton away from Arlington. Until then, let us all just enjoy the performance of one of baseball’s best.

view from Camden Yards courtesy of @backseatboombox