The Lord Line: Tom Brady To Spend Bye Week At Trump National

 

Buffalo, October 28 – Tom Brady may not be willing to state publicly if he plans on voting for his friend Donald Trump in the upcoming presidential election but that has not stopped the New England Patriots’ star quarterback from making plans to stay at the Trump National Doral Miami during the teams’ bye week following their game vs. the Buffalo Bills this weekend. When asked about the upcoming vacation the normally tight lipped veteran appeared giddy at the prospects of more time away from football.

“Obviously I won’t comment on my 4 game suspension other than to say it was totally unfair and that Roger Goodell is the bastard spawn of Satan. But my time at home and sun bathing naked in Italy did offer a glimpse of what life is like without football which is why I am very much looking forward to another break.”

When asked specifically about his reasoning for choosing Trump National given the controversy surrounding Brady since being spotted with a “Make America Great Again” hat in his locker, the future Hall of Famer said that it was a business decision.

“Mr. Trump is a friend but Mr. Trump also owes me a substantial amount of money which I lent to him long before he announced his candidacy for president back when he was raising capital for a new line of bathroom fixtures called ‘Trump Toilets: Your Shit Is My Business’. Times being what they are, and with the Russian mafia being so stingy, I accepted a free week long stay in Miami instead.

When asked to comment on the Brady bye week situation, Buffalo Bills’ head coach, and fellow Trump supporter, said that he too had plans to spend his off week at a Trump Resort but then heard that the buffets “sucked” so he changed his plans and now he and his twin brother Rob will be riding a whiskey barrel over Niagara Falls.

Bill Belichick did not wish to comment on Tom Brady’s bromance with Donald Trump other than to say that Republicans are now “On to Paul Ryan’.