“Drop and give me ten!” yells the misanthropic football coach with tobacco juice dribbling down the side of his mouth like a rabid dog.

“No, no I don’t believe I will,” replies Ralph the team’s requisite conscientious objector.

“What do you mean?” asks the increasingly befuddled coach who on the surface appears about as comfortable wrestling with logic as he would a greased pig at the county fair.

“It’s too hot for unnecessary and purely punitive calisthenics,” begins the sturdy as ever school boy. “If I were to continue exerting myself in these conditions I simply do not believe that my body would be able to regulate its core temperature satisfactorily enough as to avoid such cataclysmic health events like heat stroke or a heart attack.” [Read more…]