• Home
  • Podcast
  • One Inning At A Time

View My Seats

At the Intersection of Sports and Culture

Photo Credit for Header: Alex Foucre-Stimes

Fumblerooski: NFL Week 16

December 22, 2011 by Jon

NFL Week 16

Houston (-7) over INDIANAPOLIS – Now that the Colts have gotten the one win out of the way they can go back to focusing on securing the top pick and Andrew Luck. Now that Matt Barkley will return to USC for his senior year, teams in need of a QB will be lining up to make a deal with the well positioned Colts.

KANSAS CITY (-2.5) over Oakland – Todd Haley would probably still be coaching the Chiefs if he were a little more willing to play Kyle Orton instead of Tyler Palko. Instead, Haley, with scraggly beard and massive ego in tote, is probably busying himself by scouring the Amazon Gold Box for some last minute deals on kitchen appliances.

BUFFALO (+3) over Denver – C’mon Buffalo! How do yo expect to hold onto the Bills when you can’t even sellout a game against Timothy and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat?

TENNESSEE (-7.5) over Jacksonville – I bummed this game isn’t being played in Jacksonville. I always love it when the grounds crew throws a little Santa hat on top of Jaguar logo. Reason enough to prevent the team from moving to Los Angeles.

Arizona (+4) over CINCINNATI – Sneaky great game with both teams still fighting for a spot in the playoffs. Who knew that a game between John Skelton and Andy Dalton could be so compelling.

Miami (+9.5) over NEW ENGLAND – Weird things always seem to happen when these two team play during the final few weeks of the NFL season. Like the time in 2003 when a major snowstorm buried the northeast in over 2 feet of snow, preventing my dad and I from reaching Gillette Stadium. We got as far as Route 1 in Foxboro before having to turn around due to traffic/lack of parking spaces. I’m still waiting for my refund Mr. Kraft.

BALTIMORE (-12.5) over Cleveland – How can anyone still presume that the Ravens are the favorites to win the AFC after the total egg they laid last Sunday in San Diego? You can usually tell within the first couple of snaps whether or not Joe Flacco has taken his medication and clearly, against the Chargers, he had yet to catch his “fix”.

NY Giants (+3) over NY JETS – Head says Jets. Heart says Giants. If anything, I’ll enjoy rooting for Tom Coughlin over Rex Ryan. Class Act > Hot Air.

WASHINGTON (-6.5) over Minnesota – Which coach looks like they have higher blood pressure: Mike Shanahan or Notre Dame’s Brian Kelly? I say Shanahan. He constantly looks like he fell asleep in a tanning bed.

CAROLINA (-7.5) over Tampa Bay – I’d like to thank Ron Rivera, Cam Newton, and maybe even Bum Phillips for inspring me to change the name of my weekly NFL picks column.

PITTSBURGH (-14) San Francisco – Poor Ben Roethlisberger. Even when he is genuinely injured his teammates still don’t believe him. Not that a healthy QB matters here, Steelers could win this game with Tyler Palko under center.

San Diego (+2.5) over DETROIT – I look for the Ford Field scoreboard to self combust by the end of the 3rd quarter when the score is already 45-42.

SEATTLE (+2.5) over San Francisco – Do you think Pete Carroll told Matt Barkley to stay in school for one more year until the Seahawks were in better position to draft the USC QB?

Philadelphia (+1.5) over DALLAS – We’re are only weeks away from the 8-8 Eagles hosting a first round playoff game.

GREEN BAY (-12) over Chicago – Caleb Hanie could probably use a good stiff drink right about now.

NEW ORLEANS (-6.5) over Atlanta – Darren Sproles is an amazing football player especially when you realize that he is roughly the same size as Tom Cruise.

Last Week 7-9 (Overall 115-106)

view from Lucas Oil Stadium courtesy of @TawnyTaylorPB

View My Picks: Week 16

December 23, 2010 by Jon

PITTSBURGH (-14.5) over Carolina: If you’re a Panthers fan, do you want your team to lose the next two weeks to ensure yourselves the #1 pick and Andrew Luck in next year’s NFL draft?

Dallas (-6.5) over ARIZONA: I had no idea that John Skelton, QB for the Cardinals, went to Fordham. I had no idea Fordham even had a football program.

MIAMI (-3.5) over Detroit: It feels like the Dolphins have played at least 15 home games this year, and lost every single one of them.

Minnesota (+14.5) over PHILADELPHIA: I’m going with rookie Joe Webb on the road. I’M GOING WITH ROOKIE JOE WEBB ON THE ROAD.

JACKSONVILLE (-7) over Washington: Reason No. 48 that you know your career as a starting QB in the NFL is over… your head coach believes that Rex Grossman and John Beck give the team a better chance at winning than you do.

ST. LOUIS (-2.5) over San Francisco: I have no problem with a 7-9 team making the playoffs.  I wish the same were true in the MLB. Then my Orioles may finally have a chance of playing October baseball again.

TAMPA BAY (-6) over Seattle: Every year, there’s that one team you just can’t figure out.  The Seahawks are that team for me this season. I swear I have picked each of their games incorrectly this year. Sorry Josh Freeman, looks like you won’t be covering the spread this game.

BUFFALO (+8) over New England: If Buffalo were in the NFC West this year, what would their record have been? 10-6, 9-7, or 8-8?

New York Jets (+1) over CHICAGO: Top to bottom, Jets are a better football team.  Word to the wise Steve Weatherford, don’t punt the ball to Devin Hester.

Baltimore (-3.5) over CLEVELAND: The NFC North will go down to week 17.

KANSAS CITY (-6) over Tennessee: If the Chiefs make the playoffs, are they underdogs at home to either the Ravens/Steelers/Jets?

Indianapolis (-3) over OAKLAND: Let me just say, I feel really bad for Austin Collie. Dude probably shouldn’t have been playing last week anyway.

Houston (-2.5) over DENVER: Allow me to be the 1,000,000,001 sports fan to way in on the Tim Tebow regime in Denver.  Inspirational leader, hard worker who can’t possibly make all the throws he needs to make himself a successful NFL quarterback.

New York Giants (+3) over GREEN BAY: Sunday’s forecast for Aaron Rodgers…cloudy with a chance of double vision.

San Diego (-7.5) over CINCINNATI: I no longer trust Carson Palmer with the back door cover.

ATLANTA (-2.5) over New Orleans: Atlanta > Baltimore + Baltimore > New Orleans = Atlanta > New Orleans

Last week: 7-9

Views courtesy of @jenny1027 and @RyanMcLane1

Contact

[email protected]

Subscribe on iTunes

Passport Play Podcast w/ Jonathan Lord

Copyright © 2022 · Magazine Pro Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in