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View My Picks: NFL Week 2

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After missing the deadline for week 1, I’m now ready to start up another season of NFL picks. As usual, if your looking for deep insight and meticulous handicapping, this is not your column.

Week 2

Chicago (+5.5) over GREEN BAY

Of course Jay Cutler got pissed when he had to burn a timeout at the goal line because the home Chicago crowd being too loud. This behavior is not the sort of long term solution to help promote loyalty and support from the Windy City faithful. At this point we shouldn’t be expecting anything less from Mr. Sourpuss. (Although, today people are bringing up the fair point that when Cutler reams out an offense lineman he’s acting childish but when Tom Brady spouts off at his o-coordinator he’s being a competitor. Total double standard?)

Tampa Bay (+7.5) over NY GIANTS

Eli Manning and the Giants have a history of winning these games against inferior opponents by 3 points. Factor in Eric LeGrand coming out for the coin toss and you have the recipe for an early season barnburner.

NEW ENGLAND (-13.5) over Arizona

I bet the Patriots wish they had both Dont’a Hightower and Chandler Jones in uniform last February 5th.

Minnesota (-1.5) over INDIANAPOLIS

How in the name of popular mechanics was Adrian Peterson able to come back and perform so well only 9 months after tearing his ACL to smithereens?

New Orleans (-2.5) over CAROLINA

Sure it’s only week 2 but with the high-powered Falcons and rejuvenated Bucs, this could be the make or break game that determines both teams chances in the NFC South.

Chiefs (+3.5) over BILLS

The only excuse for why Ryan Fitzpatrick performed so poorly week 1 vs Jets is that he was distracted by the emerging cheating scandal at Harvard. If Tarvaris Jackson ever gets a chance to replace Fitzy someone should look into the current state of the political science dept at Alabama State.

Baltimore (+2.5) over PHILADELPHIA

The Ravens looked really good in their week 1 disposing of the Bengals while the Eagles got off to their traditional lackluster start agains the really woeful Cleveland Browns. Not sure why the Iggles are even favored in this game other than for the fact that it is in Philadelphia and rumor has it that Baltimore fans will be asked to show some sort of photo ID in order to enter “the Linc”.

Oakland (-2.5) over MIAMI

How in the world are the Raiders only favored by 2.5? Were Vegas sportsbooks even watching Ryan Tannehill against the Texans? A few more performances like that and the Dolphins are going to move him back to WR.

CINCINNATI (-9.5) over Cleveland

The Browns are not a fun team to watch play football even when Trent Richardson lowers the boom on opposing safeties, knocking their helmet off in the process.

Houston (-7.5) over JACKSONVILLE

I once had a football coach who told us that the largest room in the world is the room for improvement. I don’t know what made me think of this other than I have a hard time believing Blaine Gabbert is even a serviceable NFL quarterback.

SEATTLE (+2.5) over DALLAS

Sonics fans will be super energized for this game now that there is a definite possibility of the NBA returning to Puget Sound.

Washington (-2.5) over ST. LOUIS

Besides Sam Bradford, Chris Long, and James Laurinaitas, I can’t name a single player on the Rams. Henry Ellard? Flipper Anderson? Merlin Olson?

NY Jets (+6.5) over PITTSBURGH

I am a subscriber to the theory that this Steelers defense is past its prime. I do however hope this has no bearing on the Pittsburgh Pirates playoff chances. Imagine a postseason that includes both the Baltimore Orioles and Pirates? Your move Kansas City.

SAN DIEGO (-4.5) over Tennessee

I didn’t watch much of Monday night’s Chargers/Raiders game. Check that. I didn’t watch ANY of the Chargers/Raiders game. Can’t imagine I missed all that much except for Berman bloviating about Philip “A Rivers Run Through It”.

SAN FRANCISCO (-6.5) over Detroit

Come for the football, stay for the hardo post game handshake.

DENVER (+2.5) over Atlanta

I still can’t get use to seeing Peyton Manning in a Denver Broncos uniform. He seems so out of place. Like Joe Biden in a diner.

view from Lambeau Field courtesy of @shawnie_rae

 

 

 

If Gambling Were Legal: NFL Divisional Playoffs

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Saturday

New Orleans (-3.5) over SAN FRANCISCO – What if, as the San Francisco 49ers suggest, Saints running back Darren Spoles is so good, it’s unfair? Is this something Roger Goodell can look into? Can the NFL add a special section of guidelines just for Sproles? Is there any precedent? The Detroit Pistons did after all all come up with the Jordan Rules to help put a stop to the Chicago Bulls. But Darren Sproles is no Michael Jordan. Maybe BJ Armstrong but definitely not Jordan. I think we should have Jon Gruden and Mike Pereira debate the issue on live tv, preferably during one of the CBS/Fox pregame laugh fests.

Speaking of pregame shows that have descended into the ludicrous, the addition of Shaq to the Inside the NBA crew on TNT has not helped to improve the overall quality. Talk about ruining a good thing. Not only does Shaq add very little value, it seems that he has taken to cursing on the air. I see Ted Turner reassigning the Diesel to TNT’s Nascar coverage by mid February.

Denver (+13.5) over NEW ENGLAND – My dad is trying to convince me that we should go to this game . We have yet to procure any tickets and normally I wouldn’t even entertain the idea of spending hundreds of dollars to be there in person especially when the overall quality of the experience is much much better at home when sitting between a bowl full of Mint M&M’s and a 6 pack of Smuttynose IPA. But, Saturday night could be special and when I say special what I really mean to say is biblical. The forecast is calling for frigid temps with the occasional snow shower. If there is any accumulation on the Gillette Stadium turf then it could be nice to be there in person for when the Ark shows up.

Sunday

Houston (+7.5) over BALTIMORE – I like that Joe Flacco is getting a little sassy with reporters who are claiming that he’s the weak link in the otherwise impenetrable Ravens armor. Good for Flacco, a little pith and vinegar out of your young quarterback is a good thing. Now, if Flacco starts doing the Ray Lewis “Gladiator” introduction dance we will probably have to revisit this conversation.

New York (+7.5) over GREEN BAY – If spite were a determining factor then I would have taken the Packers to cover and win by at least three touchdowns. As a Patriots fan, any and all comparisons between this Giants team and 2007 sends me into a hypnotic trance. I kinda hope New York loses a close game just to avoid any future David Tyree where is he now stories.

view from the Frozen Tundra courtesy of @packers

Sunday Night Football Recap: Brett Favre Looks/Is Old

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Last night, Brett Favre played like a 41 year old man.  His 3 interecpetions, one returned for a GB touchdown, were the main reason the Vikings lost to the Packers 28-24. In classic Favre fashion, he gave his team a chance to win the game in its final moments, which included an apparent touchdown pass to Percy Harvin that would later be overturned.

So where do the Vikings go from here?  Favre appeared injured, perhaps a relapse of the ankle injury that has plagued him for years, and the Minnesota schedule doesn’t get an easier with an upcoming trip to the 5-1 Patriots on Halloween.  Can they still win the NFC North or will Tarvaris Jackson be their starting QB by seasons end?

For anyone who’s ever been to Lambeau Field, is the entire stadium made up of bleachers or are there individual seats as well?