Top Ten Things Overheard In Luol Deng’s Hospital Room

Last night the Chicago Bulls opened their series vs the heavily favored Miami Heat with a surprising road victory. Their game 1 vanquishing of LeBron and co was even more improbable considering they were playing without starters Derrick Rose (ACL), Kirk Hinrich (calf) and Luol Deng (leaking spinal fluid). Speaking of Deng, here’s a sampling of things overheard in his Chicago area hospital room last night as the star small forward cheered his team on to victory.

“Lucky me, now Jimmy Butler has to spend 48 minutes chasing around LeBron.”

“Sometimes I like to sneak up behind coach Tom Thibodeau during timeouts and tickle him until he cracks a smile.”

“Joakim Noah plays with so much heart and is such a great teammate that it doesn’t even matter how he pronounces ‘plantar fasciitis’.”

“Yes, Carlos Boozer really did sweat this much at Duke too.”

“If Ellen ever has me on her show I’ll show her how the Harlem Shake is suppose to be done.”

“The nightlife in South Beach has nothing on the 6th floor ICU at Rush University Medical Center.”

“Hospital food really is as bad as they say.”

“Nate Robinson is actually one of those alien Nerdlucks from ‘Space Jam’.”

“What channel is Duck Dynasty on?”

“If Derrick Rose had a spinal tap he’d be out for an entire season.”