The San Francisco Giants Rotation Solves Serious Problems

Last night during San Francisco’s NLDS clinching victory over the Washington Nationals Giants veteran Tim Hudson gave an interview where amongst other things he described the corner of the locker room he shares with fellow pitchers and men of the South Jake Peavy and Madison Bumgarner as being “pretty country”. Using as many readily available stereotypes as possible we were able to obtain a transcript of a recent conversation between the NLCS bound San Francisco Giants rotation.

Peavy: Way to make that curveball work for you the other night against the Nationals.

Hudson: Thanks, man. Same to you with that splitter. Pretty nasty stuff.

Bumgarner: So what do you fellas want to listen to: Jason Aldean or Blake Shelton?

Peavy: You got any Kenny Chesney on that there iPod?

Hudson: How about something a little different like Creedence Clearwater Revival?

Bumgarner: Who?

Hudson: Miranda Lambert’s good.

Peavy: Hey, you think the Cardinals will put up more of a fight than Washington?

Hudson: I would assume so. St. Louis has been there before just like us.

Bumgarner: Yeah, but what’s up with their fans man? Why so much anger directed at black folks?

Hudson: That is pretty unsettling what transpired outside Busch Stadium the other day.

Bumgarner: And yet we’re still the ones labeled as ignorant, why is that?

Hudson: Probably has something to do with history, you know like the Civil War.

Peavy: Yeah but I’ve played in cities like Boston and those people can be just as intolerant as folks down South.

Hudson: So you’re saying racism is a national issue?

Bumgarner: Like guns and tax reform?

Peavy: Alls I’m saying is that the vast majority of people, most of them from the North and Midwest, think that race is only an issue in the South when in reality the majority of ‘merica is still trying to overcome deep socio-economic and cultural issues that keep communities divided across the country.

Bumgarner: Have you guys seen my camouflage under shirt?

Hudson: Well, it’s not like we can do anything about it.

Peavy: But see that mentality perpetuates the problem.

Bumgarner: Seriously, where’s my camo?

Hudson: What do you mean exactly?

Peavy: For instance, what the one thing that all people in St. Louis black and white can agree on?

Bumgarner: Found it. Right next to my cowboy boots.

Hudson: I don’t know, the Cardinals?

Peavy: Exactly.

Hudson: What’s the point?

Bumgarner: Do you guys want to see me shotgun 5 beers at once?

Hudson: Not right now Madison.

Peavy: The point is, if Cardinals players were to take more of a public stand against those fans preaching hate outside the stadium and for what went down in Ferguson a few months back things might change for the better.

Bumgarner: Did you know Matt Holliday had a scholarship to play football at Oklahoma State?

Hudson: Isn’t that kind of a major oversimplification.

Peavy: It is. There are a lot more isssues at play in St. Louis and urban areas across the country than can be solved by a group of baseball players. Things like violence, crumbling of public education, etc… But their voices could help galvanize the community in a common cause.

Hudson: That’s a lot of pressure being heaped on those fellas.

Peavy: It is, but with fame comes responsibility and influence. Just look at what a differences athletes have made in the past. Jackie Robinson. Muhammad Ali.

Hudson: Yeah but those guys weren’t making as much money as players today and there’s just too much on the line sometimes to stick your neck out for a cause.

Peavy: True, but our ridiculous contract today are because 40 years ago a guy like Curt Flood was willing to challenge a system which perpetuated and inequality .

Bumgarner: Justice.

Peavy: That’s right. So athletes can make a difference when it comes to improving society.

Hudson: Maybe the three of us should organize something when we travel to St. Louis this weekend for the opening of the NLCS?

Bumgarner: Like a gun buyback program with the Ferguson Police Department?

Hudson: Something like that.

Bumgarner: Cool, cause in my home state of Texas they got these ginormous wildlife preserves you can hunt big game on the verge of extinction.

Peavy: Did you guys see that Bama game last weekend?

Hudson: Tough one. How about my Auburn Tigers?

Bumgarner: War Eagle!

Peavy: Roll Tide!