NBA Watchability Index for Parents: January 23, 2015

5 Baby Bottles (Watch Those Little Eyes Glaze Over)

Oklahoma City Thunder @ Atlanta Hawks (7:30 PM)

This is such an interesting game for both teams. The Hawks, riding a 14 game win streak and the second best record in the NBA, are still competing for the respect of basketball fans who doubt the long term legitimacy of this Atlanta team. A win against the Thunder, a perceived Western Conference power, would go a long way towards validating the Hawks already impressive resume. For OKC, this game is a chance to show the league that when healthy they are amongst the NBA’s best. Plus, with LaMarcus Aldridge’s injury for Portland first place in the Northwest division no longer seems like an insurmountable task for the hard charging Thunder.

4 Baby Bottles (Must Keep Head In Upright Position)

Charlotte Hornets @ Cleveland Cavaliers (7:30 PM)

The Hornets and Cavs are the two hottest teams in the Eastern Conference not named the Atlanta Hawks. Also, how long into this game before LeBron starts defending Kemba Walker?

Chicago Bulls @ Dallas Mavericks (8:00 PM)

Houston Rockets @ Phoenix Suns (9:00 PM)

3 Baby Bottles (Just A Quick Swaddle & Rock)

Orlando Magic @ New York Knicks

Great read in today’s New York Times on Knicks journeyman center Lou Amundson. Who knew that he and some guys names Langston Galloway and Lance Thomas would be the saviors of the 2014-15 New York Knicks season?

2 Baby Bottles (Burp It Out)

Toronto Raptors @ Philadelphia 76ers (7:00 PM)

The Raptors have not been playing good basketball for the past few weeks which would normally be a big problem if it weren’t for the general ineptitude and malaise of all the other teams in the Atlantic division. It’s not even February and Toronto is all but assured a top-3 seed in the playoffs.

New Orleans Pelicans @ Minnesota Timberwolves (8:00 PM)

Los Angeles Lakers @ San Antonio Spurs (8:30 PM)

Boston Celtics @ Denver Nuggets (9:00 PM)

Sacramento Kings @ Golden State Warriors (10:30 PM)

1 Baby Bottle (Only During An Emergency Diaper Change)

Indiana Pacers @ Miami Heat (7:30 PM)

The game of the night during either of the previous two seasons.

The NBA Watchability Index for Parents: January 20, 2015

My son has a cold which would only be news if he didn’t have a cold. It is winter after all and my wife and I often lament the fact that we did not buy stock in Kleenex this past fall. At night I must spend 10 solid minutes picking up balled up, snot covered pieces of tissue. I guess I probably shouldn’t complain all that much because as we parents know the alternative to tissue is our clothing and I unfortunately have dress shirts that are starting to resemble art projects.

5 Baby Bottles (Watch Those Little Eyes Glaze Over)

No Games

4 Baby Bottles (Must Keep Head In Upright Position)

No Games

3 Baby Bottles (Just A Quick Swaddle & Rock)

Oklahoma City Thunder @ Miami Heat (7:30)

Light night in the NBA after yesterday’s MLK Day smorgasborg. In case you missed it, here are a few of the highlights from yesterday’s holiday action:

-The Cavs beat the Bulls in Chicago for their third win in a row and now the Bulls are acting like the team suddenly up against the ropes. The normally soft spoken, reserved Derrick Rose came out after the game and said that the Bulls need to give “a better effort” and start “communicating” with one another which could justbe code for ‘I’m frustrated with myself because I shot 5-14 from the field and am no longer my team’s primary option on offense’. Either way, no team grinds/maximizing their talent like Chicago so it is slightly concerning when the starting point guard calls into question the team’s effort.

-The Knicks won a basketball game which means the New York Times can finally bring back their Knicks beat reporter who just finished spending a few relaxing weeks in Manitoba, Canada covering a rousing game of H-O-R-S-E between an Inuit boy named Barry and a three legged moose.

-The Hawks won again. That’s 13 in a row.

-So to did the Warriors, who are 9-1 in their last 10.

-An Atlanta/Dubs NBA Finals won’t knock Main Street America’s socks off but to hardcore basketball aficionados it would border on a motion offense wet dream. I’m already excited thinking about the matchup between Al Horford and Draymond Green.

-The Suns beat the Lakers and refuse to give up any ground to the Thunder in the chase for the 8th seed out West. Heck, at this rate Phoenix has more than a realistic chance of catching the Spurs for the 7th spot.

-And finally, Joel Embiid may or may not be 300 pounds.

2 Baby Bottles (Burp It Out)

San Antonio Spurs @ Denver Nuggets (9:00)

1 Baby Bottle (Only During An Emergency Diaper Change)

No Games

NBA Watchability Index for Parents: January 16, 2015

Waiting for your baby to burp after feeding is a lot like waiting for a volcano to erupt after an earthquake. In both cases, it’s only a matter of time before the vile lava spewed from deep inside the core forces local residents to seek shelter. Your best bet is to be prepared with several layers of protective clothing and hope that the hot magna passes you by without leaving behind third degree burns.

5 Baby Bottles (Watch Those Little Eyes Glaze Over)

Atlanta Hawks @ Toronto Raptors (7:30)

Dare I say a preview of the Eastern Conference Finals? If before the season you had said that on January 16th the Hawks and Raptors would have the two best records in the East people would have looked at you like you just announced that you were closing all Targets in Canada.

4 Baby Bottles (Must Keep Head In Upright Position)

Golden State Warriors @ Oklahoma City Thunder (8:00)

Dare I say a preview of the first round of the Western Conference playoffs? If before the season you had said that on January 16th the Warriors would have the best record in basketball while the Thunder were in serious jeopardy of missing the playoffs people would have looked at you like you might potentially trade for Brook Lopez.

Portland Trail Blazers @ San Antonio Spurs (8:30)

He doesn’t know this yet but when his career is over Matt Bonner and I are going to get to work on a biography titled Live Free or Red Mamba: Ballin Hard in the Granite State.

Cleveland Cavaliers @ Los Angeles Clippers (10:30)

People are making a big deal about Doc Rivers trading for his son Austin but if you were the general manager/head coach of a NBA team wouldn’t you want your kid playing for you? The NBA is a little different than little league baseball but still, it’s going to be nice for Doc and his wife to tuck their son into bed at night.

3 Baby Bottles (Just A Quick Swaddle & Rock)

Memphis Grizzlies @ Orlando Magic (7:00)

Zach Lowe needs to tell us why Victor Oladipo can’t turn into a Jimmy Butler type player?

Detroit Pistons @ Indiana Pacers (7:00)

A mid season battle for the 8th and final Eastern Conference playoff spot.

Denver Nuggets @ Dallas Mavericks (8:30)

2 Baby Bottles (Burp It Out)

New Orleans Pelicans @ Philadelphia 76ers (7:00)

Brooklyn Nets @ Washington Wizards (7:00)

It makes total sense for Mikhail Prokhorov to sell the Nets when the Russian oligarch can probably fetch upwards of 2 billion dollars for his majority stake in the franchise and arena. And judging from the ongoing collapse of the Russian economy the mineral magnate is going to need all the rubles he can get his hands on.

Chicago Bulls @ Boston Celtics (7:30)

Minnesota Timberwolves @ Phoenix Suns (9:00)

What if the Cavs offered Kevin Love back to the Timberwolves in return for Andrew Wiggins? Who blinks first?

1 Baby Bottle (Only During An Emergency Diaper Change)

Los Angeles Lakers @ Utah Jazz (9:00)

Kobe dropped a career high 17 assists last night in the Lakers’ loss to the Cavs. Proof positive to all you haters out there giving him crap for shooting the ball too much that it doesn’t matter what stat Kobe stuffs, the Lakers are not a good basketball team.

Miami Heat @ Sacramento Kings (10:00)

What ever happened to the Kings playing only 4 guys on defense?

Have a happy weekend!!!

NBA Watchability Index for Parents: January 14, 2015

The thought as parents is that when you go from 1 to 2 kids you need to switch from a zone defense to man-to-man, which as anyone who has ever played basketball before knows requires much more physical exerscion. Nearly a month into our version of man-to-man and I can tell you with complete honesty that we have adjusted well to the bathtub pick-n-roll, started calling out all screens by the changing table and have always made sure to help the ball side defender when loading/unloading at the grocery store.

5 Baby Bottles (Watch Those Little Eyes Glaze Over)

Washington Wizards @ Chicago Bulls (8:00 PM)

A rematch of last year’s playoffs when the Wizards surprised us all by knocking out the Bulls in the first round. No surprises this year but it’ll be interesting to see how Chicago responds having dropped 3 of it’s last 4 including one in Washington last week.

Los Angeles Clippers @ Portland Trail Blazers (10:30 PM)

Quite a doubleheader for ESPN. As if they needed the ratings after the bonanza on Monday night when they scored the highest rating ever  on cable television.

4 Baby Bottles (Always Keep The Head Tilted Upright)

New Orleans Pelicans @ Detroit Pistons (7:30 PM)

The Pistons are 9-1 in their last 10 games and this Greg Monroe/Andre Drummond vs Anthony Davis/Omer Asik battle for low post supremacy could play out like one of those superheroes movies where the apocalypse is narrowly avoided but at the expense of entire cities being leveled to the ground. Somebody better go ahead and check the foundation at the Palace of Auburn Hills.

3 Baby Bottles (A Quick Swaddle & Rock Will Do The Trick)

Houston Rockets @ Orlando Magic (7:30 PM)

Nikola Vucevic is playing like an all-star.

Atlanta Hawks @ Boston Celtics (8:00 PM)

So is Al “messed around and dropped a triple-double” Horford

Dallas Mavericks @ Denver Nuggets (9:00 PM)

Allen Iverson was right after all. Morning shootarounds are overrated.

2 Baby Bottles (In Between Burps)

San Antonio Spurs @ Charlotte Hornets (7:00 PM)

The Hornets have won 5 games in a row since Lance Stephenson started sitting out with an injured pelvis. If the Hornets lose tonight with Stephenson back in the lineup then it’s officially time for Michael Jordan to call up his buddy Larry Bird.

Memphis Grizzlies @ Brooklyn Nets (7:30 PM)

We get it, Kevin Garnett, other players don’t like Dwight Howard. But the head butting. What is this, soccer?

Philadelphia 76ers @ Toronto Raptors (7:30 PM)

Philly has done that thing where they lower the lights in the arena to give it that edgier look like the Lakers started doing a long time ago. I like it. Gives games a cool theatre vibe.

1 Baby Bottle (Only During An Emergency Diaper Change)

Miami Heat @ Golden State Warriors (10:30 PM)

Dwyane Wade is hurt again and the Heat only scored 78 points last night against the Lakers (albeit a win) in his absence. Needless to say I don’t like their chances tonight in the Bay.

 

NBA Watchability Index for Parents: January 12 2015

Trying to warm a bottle before the baby begins crying is a lot like what it must feel like to diffuse a bomb. All that’s missing from my kitchen is a ticking clock and Jeremy Renner. Speaking of Renner, I didn’t watch the Golden Globes last night but twitter told me that Jennifer Lopez almost kicked Renner’s ass after he made a sexist remark about her dress which is just one more reason why Matt Damon will always be the one and only Jason Bourne.

The NBA Watchability Index for Parents: January 12, 2015

5 Baby Bottles (until those little eyes glaze over)

No games

4 Baby Bottles (make sure to tilt the head upright)

Detroit Pistons @ Toronto Raptors (7:30 PM)

Pretty light Monday night in the Association which is fine seeing as most of our attention will be directed at the college football national championship between Oregon and Ohio State. I’ve got no skin in the game but would like to see Oregon win if only because Marcus Mariota is a fun quarterback to watch play football and the Ducks have come close before. But my sense is that the Buckeyes have turned into a trendy pick to win after their somewhat unexpected, albeit impressive, win over Alabama in the semifinals. It helps when you have a third string quarterback as talented and big as Cardale Jones. Most college programs can’t count on that kind of depth, heck, most NFL teams would love to have a solid starter let alone two equally capable backups. Either way, it should be a good game and hopefully Jerry Jones and Gov. Christie are able to make it back to Dallas in time for kickoff.

If college football’s not your thing, Canada, then this Pistons/Raptors game is the best of the bunch tonight, which, you would not have been able to say two weeks ago before this remarkable run the Pistons have gone on since the Josh Smith trade.

3 Baby Bottles (a quick swaddle and rock)

New Orleans Pelicans @ Boston Celtics (7:30 PM)

These two teams were involved in a fairly major three team trade over the weekend as the Celtics continued to clear cap by sending Jeff Green to the Memphis Grizzlies in exchange for Austin Rivers amongst others. Rivers, who is apparently not dead or in the NBDL, has yet to live up to the promise while Green will help the Grizz as they attempt to outwit and outlast the loaded West.

2 Baby Bottles (in between burps)

Orlando Magic @ Chicago Bulls (8:00 PM)

The Magic have lost 6 games in a row but still have a good chance of making the playoffs because the bottom of the Eastern Conference is that bad. The Victor Oladipo/Jimmy Butler matchup is worth at least a cursory glance as you’d be hard pressed to find two more athletic guards in the NBA.

Houston Rockets @ Brooklyn Nets (7:30 PM)

Speaking of losing streaks, the Nets have lost 5 games as the Barclays Center anxiously awaits the arrival next year of the first place New York Islanders. (Note: for you basketball only folks the Islanders are a hockey team who haven’t had much success in the NHL since the late 70s/early 80s making their season to date both a surprise and good story.)

1 Baby Bottle (only during an emergency diaper change)

No games