Adam Schefter Doesn’t Believe in Sleep

It’s not too often that I concern myself with the general well being of an ESPN personality what with all their handsome salaries, fancy cars, and deluxe two bedroom condominiums in Simsbury, CT. But man I tell you, ever since the NFL lockout ended, and the free agent frenzy began, I can’t stop worrying that at some point Adam Schefter’s head is going to explode on live television just like that poor degenerate gambler who had his head put in a vice by Joe Pesci in Casino. Schefter has clearly usurped Chris Mortensen as ESPN’s go to NFL brown nose. But the WWL should be careful with how they treat members of the intelligentsia because at this rate Scheftie is on pace for a Michael Douglas in Falling Down type meltdown. Who would clog our twitter feed then?

Speaking of free agent signings, what move has garnered the most attention so far? Santonio – who my brother in law continues to call “San Antonio”- Holmes back to the Jets? Matt Hasselbeck to the Music City Miracles? Al Haynesworth shipping up to Boston? Or perhaps it’s Donovan McNabb to the Minnesota Vikings. I just had to ask Deadspinner, and fellow Colby College alum, Drew Magary where he thinks the Vikings and McNabb are headed in 2011. Understand that right now Drew is considerably busier than most “bloggers-who-use-foul-language-to-make-fun-of-Peter King” what with a massive press tour for his new novel The Postmortal and we thank him for taking the time to respond to our trivial inquiries.

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Now that McNabb is about to officially become a member of your Minnesota Vikings, it’s time you tell us what Twin Cities delicacy is going to cause the most significant weight gain and why: walleye on a stick from Target Field, the Juicy Lucy, or beer boiled bratwurst (via Wisconsin)?

Bratwurst, I guess?

But seriously, wouldn’t you rather just go with Joe Webb or Christian Ponder? And does it really matter who’s playing QB for the Vikings in 2011? Pretty sure they are going to have a tough time keeping up with the rest of the division, even the Lions.

It doesn’t really matter who plays for them this year, which is why I’m okay with the trade.  It’s not like the Favre experiment where they put all their money on the one old QB.  They might even view McNabb as a backup right now.

Have you already purchased a Los Angeles Vikings tshirt? Maybe you would have had a better time trying to publicly finance a new stadium in Minneapolis if the Minnesota state gov’t hadn’t totally shut down.

My guy Rand still says the Vikings aren’t moving, so I’ll stick with him until they end up proving him wrong and we both cry.

How, if at all, do you cover the plight of the Minnesota Vikings in your new book The Postmortal? I hope you reserved a special place in Chapter 4 for the Randall Cunningham era.

No Vikings in the book.  The main character is a Bills fan.

Last one, did you ever put your personal laundry in the Chappy bins and if so, did your clothes come out smelling worse than they did before?

Never.  But not a bad idea.

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There you have it. Move over Schefter! I smell a new football insider. Thanks again to Drew for taking the time to hit send and we wish him the best of luck with his new novel The Postmortal. Here’s hoping the book has more success than the 2011 Donovan McNabb led Minnesota Vikings.

view from Patriots training camp courtesy of @realpatriots

Captain’s Choice: NFL Week 17 Rankings

This week, we are trying out a new format for our NFL rankings post.  We are starting something called Captain’s Choice where VMS and a guest take turns ranking the top ten teams in the NFL. We hope this will turn into a regular feature, even after the NFL season ends.  For the inaugural Captain’s Choice I have enlisted the help of….my Dad.  Now, a few things you should know about him before we start. First off, he grew up in Baltimore and was heartbroken when the Colts moved to Indianapolis in 1983.  He has since adopted the Patriots as his favorite NFL team.  Secondly, he fully supports the comments made by Ed Rendell and will tell you that American’s have been getting “soft” for decades.  I’m not sure how this will affect his rankings but it will definitely come up somewhere.

view courtesy of @justinlesko

1. New England Patriots (13-2) VMS: I can’t understand how Brandon Meriweather made the Pro Bowl.  Nobody bypasses the interception for the 15 yard unecessary roughness penalty like #31.

2. New Orleans Saints (11-4) Dad: I like the championship pedigree plus the potential for a Drew Brees/Tom Brady Superbowl.

3. Baltimore Ravens (11-4) VMS: Call it a hangover from 2009-10 but I give the Ravens the best chance this year of coming into Foxboro and beating the Patriots in the playoffs.

4. Pittsburgh Steelers (11-4) Dad: Experience plus Polamalu make the Steelers a tough out come January. Of even greater concern, what’s the latest on the New Year’s Day weather for the Winter Classic at Heinz Field?

5. Atlanta Falcons (12-3) VMS: I was not impressed with the Falcons on Monday night.  Matt Ryan seemed to miss a lot of open receivers and their offense could not capitalize on a few New Orleans mistakes.

6. Green Bay Packers (9-6) Dad: Love their quarterback and think they will be the most difficult wild card team to knock out of the playoffs.

7. Philadelphia Eagles (10-5) VMS: Maybe Ed Rendell was right, the Chinese probably would have played through Game 3 of the 1989 World Series as well.

8. Chicago Bears (11-4) Dad: Their defense is good and they have the wild card of all wild cards in Devin Hester.  Special teams wins championships.

9. Kansas City Chiefs (10-5) VMS: I’m looking forward to watching this team play during Wild Card weekend. Double Dwayne Bowe damn near saved my fantasy season.

10. New York Jets (10-5) Dad: When things are right their defense is pretty good.  They have a world class receiver in Santonio Holmes and a potentially serviceable quarterback in Mark Sanchez.

Honorable Mention: Indianapolis Colts, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, San Diego Chargers, and New York Giants.

Thanks to my Dad for helping me out with the first ever Captain’s Choice post.  Let us know if you want to be a future captain and, as always, share your views.

The “Bad Weather is Good For TV Ratings” Week 16 NFL Power Poll

The Minnesota Vikings should play all of their home games outdoors. An outdoor NFL stadium in the Twin Cities would have provide serious home field advantages.  I bet if you polled Viking fans they would tell you the same thing.  The problem for Minnesota is, who’s going to pay for the new stadium? The state is facing an enormous amount of debt, which makes public financing basically out of the question.  This is why I have said that the Vikings are a prime candidate to relocate.  Sorry Minnesota, if a new stadium isn’t built I fear that your team could be headed out to the West Coast. Other potential candidates for relocation include Jacksonville, Oakland, and San Diego.

For now, here’s my Week 16 NFL Power Poll

1. New England Patriots (12-2): John Kuhn is going to give me nightmares for weeks.

2. Atlanta Falcons (12-2): What are the chances that Atlanta ends up hosting Michael Vick and the Philadelphia Eagles in the NFC Championship Game?

3. Baltimore Ravens (10-4): My wife’s new favorite movie is The Blindside, which means she is now obligated to now root for Michael Oher and the Ravens.

4. Philadelphia Eagles (10-4): Think the City of Brotherly Love has yet to fully embrace Vick? Check out this video from the Sixers/Lakers game last week.

5. Pittsburgh Steelers (10-4): Their chance are totally contingent on the health of Troy Polamalu. Without him, I wouldn’t be surprised to see them exit the playoffs early.

6. New Orleans Saints (10-4): Feel like I haven’t heard/seen much of this team since their Thanksgiving Day victory in Dallas.  I’m picking them to beat the Falcons next weekend in Atlanta.

7. San Diego Chargers (8-6): Chargers should be forced by league rule to wear their powder blue uniforms at home AND on the road.

8. Chicago Bears (10-4): Game on the line. Who would you rather punt to? DeSean Jackson or Devin Hester?

9. New York Jets (10-4): New York sports radio has a quintessential love/hate relationship with Rex Ryan and the Jets. All except for Mike Francesa who pretty much just dislikes everything about the J-E-T-S.

10. Green Bay Packers (8-6): Tell me again why the Packers didn’t feature John Kuhn on their last drive of the game?  Patriots had no answer for him.

Share your views.

The “Good Thing the Metrodome Wasn’t Full” Week 15 NFL Rankings

My favorite part about the setup in Ford Field tonight is the “smudging” left behind when stadium operators erased the Detroit Lions logo and replaced it with the Minnesota Vikings. Looks like they were trying to change an answer on the SAT.

1. New England Patriots (11-2): I really wish people would stop comparing this team to the 2007 Patriots.  Every time I hear this I picture David Tyree with velcro on his helmet. Were you aware that Tyree wasn’t even in the league anymore?

2. Atlanta Falcons (11-2): Best team I know next to nothing about.

3. New Orleans Saints (10-3): Saints might be on the road in the first round of the playoffs to face the NFC West champ. Good chance they are favored by over a touchdown in that game.

4. Pittsburgh Steelers (10-3): Are we really sure Carson Palmer hasn’t been replaced by his younger brother Jordan? Bengals made it too easy for the Steelers yesterday.

5. Baltimore Ravens (8-4): C’mon Joe Flacco. The Fighting Blue Hens are counting on you!

6. Philadelphia Eagles (9-4): Forget about Michael Vick for a second. DeSean Jackson! Dude is fast.

7. Chicago Bears (9-4): Yesterday’s result against the Patriots was payback for Super Bowl XX. Still can’t believe Ditka stole that TD away from Walter Payton and gave it to William “The Refrigerator” Perry instead.

8. San Diego Chargers (7-6): Warning. Kansas City Chiefs and New York Jets. Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.

9. Green Bay Packers (8-5): It’s a strong possibility that the best offense in the NFC doesn’t even make it to the playoffs.

10. New York Giants (8-4): 1pm start vs the Eagles begins a tremendous day of NFL football next Sunday. NYJ/Pitt at 4:15 followed by Packers/Pats on Sunday Night.

Sunday Night Football Recap: Brett Favre Looks/Is Old

Last night, Brett Favre played like a 41 year old man.  His 3 interecpetions, one returned for a GB touchdown, were the main reason the Vikings lost to the Packers 28-24. In classic Favre fashion, he gave his team a chance to win the game in its final moments, which included an apparent touchdown pass to Percy Harvin that would later be overturned.

So where do the Vikings go from here?  Favre appeared injured, perhaps a relapse of the ankle injury that has plagued him for years, and the Minnesota schedule doesn’t get an easier with an upcoming trip to the 5-1 Patriots on Halloween.  Can they still win the NFC North or will Tarvaris Jackson be their starting QB by seasons end?

For anyone who’s ever been to Lambeau Field, is the entire stadium made up of bleachers or are there individual seats as well?