Fumblerooski: NFL Week 17

Week 17

Packers 45 Lions 41 – Lots at stake in this game as Detroit needed a win to avoid playing the Saints in round 1 of the NFC playoffs while Packers backup QB Matt Flynn needed a big game to cash in as a free agent this summer. I guess you could say 480 yards and 6 TDs qualifies as a big game.

49ers 34 Rams 27 – San Fran locked up the #2 seed in the NFC playoffs and a very likely date with New Orleans in round 2. At this point, it’s pure speculation however I would imagine the Niners will be penciled in as +3.5 point underdogs at home to the Saints would should lead to all sorts of “We Get No Respect” t-shirts and signs in the Bay Area.

Dolphins 19 Jets 17 – Murphy’s Law. Jets OC Brian Schottenheimer called a less than inspired game. QB Mark Sanchez looked like a lost puppy. WR Santonio Holmes stomped his feet a little bit while head coach Rex Ryan sounded a little defensive in his post game press conference. Tune into WFAN tomorrow at around 1:02 for a little NY Jets spit roast courtesy of his excellency Mike Francesa.

Bears 17 Vikings 13 – Vikings DE Jared Allen ends the season with 22 sacks, .5 behind the all time leader Michael Strahan. As Peter King pointed out, this is just one more way for Kiln, Mississippi’s most recognizable wearer of Wrangler’s to mess with the hearts of Vikings nation.

Patriots 49 Bills 21 – This Patriots defense reminds me of one of the funniest moments from Woody Allen’s Crimes and Misdemeanors. Speaking of Woody Allen, finally watched Midnight in Paris over the holidays and I believe the entire film falls under the category of what Adam Carolla calls, “rich white guy problems”.

Saints 45 Panthers 17 – I’ll bet you any amount of money that when Dan Marino watches the Saints play he can’t help but imagine how many yards/touchdowns he would have thrown for had he played in era that does not allow defenders to lay a finger on receivers or come within breathing distance of a QB. In this era, the combination of Marino and the Marks (Duper/Clayton) would have gone for over 6,000 yards with 50 TDs.

Eagles 34 Redskins 10 – They should have played this game on ice. What’s that you say? The ice in Philadelphia is melting?

Jaguars 19 Colts 13 – Tony Dungy says the Colts will take a good, hard look at drafting Baylor QB Robert Griffin III with the first pick in the 2012 NFL Draft. The horror!!! Doesn’t Dungy understand that has been Andrew Luck’s birthright to one day replace an aging, decrepit Peyton Manning?

Titans 23 Texans 22 – The Houston/Cincinnati playoff game could very well be the lowest rated playoff game in NFL history.

Falcons 45 Buccaneers 24 – The Bucs might as well have forfeited the game allowing Fox to air old punt/pass/kick contests starring Andy Reid.

Ravens 24 Bengals 16 – Ray Rice is probably the most under-appreciated player in the NFL. Well, either Rice or Chiefs onside kickers extraordinaire Ryan Succop.

Steelers 13 Browns 9 – With Pittsburgh RB Rashard Mendenhall now missing next weeks playoff game in Denver, maybe head coach Mike Tomlin will finally suit up and relive some of his glory years with the ESU Timberwolves.

Chiefs 7 Broncos 3 – I can’t wait for the John Elway/John Fox combo to issue their latest passive aggressive vote of non confidence to Denver QB Tim Tebow.

Chargers 38 Raiders 26 – I for one am extremely pleased that San Diego will not be invited to this years playoffs. I smell a 45-42 second round upset over the Patriots.

Cardinals 23 Seahawks 20 – Arizona finishes the season 8-8. Back when Mike Singletary was coaching the 49ers, .500 was good enough to win the NFC West.

view from MetLife Stadium courtesy of @rickypalomino

Quick Snaps: NFL Week 11


Browns 14 Jaguars 10 – The good news is that, unless you have Direct TV, this game was probably only on in two markets and I’m still not even sure if Jacksonville is aware that they have a professional football team.

Lions 49 Panthers 35 – Matthew Stafford threw for 5 TD’s as the Lions took care of business against the Panthers as they now prepare for their biggest Thanksgiving Day Game perhaps ever. With the undefeated Packers coming to town this Thursday, Detroit has a chance to show the national television audience that they are for real for the first time since the retirement of #20.

Packers 35 Buccaneers 26 – Speaking of Green Bay, the Bucs made this game on the Frozen Tundra much closer than most of us anticipated. But in the end, Aaron Rodgers played like Aaron Rodgers and the 10-0 Pack now prepare to feast on a little Turducken.

Dolphins 35 Bills 8 – Maybe Matt Moore is the long term answer at quarterback for the suddenly 3-7 Miami Dolphins. For Buffalo, 4-1 feels like eons ago and if things keep trending downward, look for Buffalo to switch uniforms again before next season.

Raiders 27 Vikings – Oakland was able to hold on for dear life in the Ponderosa as the Vikings mounted a valiant comeback only to fall a little short thanks to the rookie play of rookie quarterback Christian Ponder. Here’s hoping Adrian Peterson isn’t too hurt as he continues to show us all that great running backs can continue to run hard even after signing lucrative contract extensions. (We’re looking at you Chris Johnson.)

Cowboys 27 Redskins 24 – Tony Romo continues to impress as the Cowboys needed all the skill and talent they could muster to outlast the surprisingly spunky Redskins. Hold tight Washington fans, help in the form of Peyton Manning is coming next season. (No I don’t have any insider info but when this now rumor does come to fruition next offseason, I would like at least partial credit for calling it all the way back in October.)

Ravens 31 Bengals 24 – Late last night, during the second half of the USC/Oregon game, a little twitter hyperbole took place as a few notable football pundits like Peter King, lined up to praise Matt Barkley and begin to question if the Trojan quarterback might just as well turn out to be a better pro than the anointed one Andrew Luck. I liked what I saw from Barkley last night, but if we’re going to talk about an “under the radar” college quarterback who could end up being the goods in the pros, look no further than Waco, Texas and Baylor star Robert Griffin III. Dude is electric.

Seahawks 24 Rams 7 – In any other season, the NFC West would be the Seattle Seahawks to lose. And poor Sam Bradford. Are the St. Louis wide receivers that bad or do the Rams need to look for another franchise QB?

49ers 23 Cardinals 7 – A Happy Harbaugh Day to the brothers Harbaugh as Jim Harbaugh brings his 9-1 49ers into Baltimore to take on brother John Harbaugh and the 7-3 Ravens on Thanksgiving night. Apologies in advance if you do not get the NFL Network.

Falcons 23 Titans 17 – Jake Locker the future is now. Well, probably in a few years as Tennessee starting QB Matt Hasselbeck will probably be back next week after suffering a minor arm injury against Atlanta. The Falcons look to be one of 4 teams along with the Cowboys, Bears, Lions battling for the 2 wild card spots.

Bears 31 Chargers 20 – Speaking of Chicago, Jay Cutler took care of business once again as the Bears look like a legit obstacle in the Packers path to perfection. And Philip Rivers, enjoy the bench as I’m poised to announce Big Ben Roethlisberger as my fantasy starter for the remainder of the season.

view from MetLife Stadium courtesy of @wcv76



Quick Snaps: NFL Week 10

Steelers 24 Bengals 17 – Kudos to the programming wizards over at CBS for having the good sense to switch out of the Cowboys/Bills blowout and send the viewing audience to a much more competitive game in Cincinnati. This was my first time watching Andy Dalton play quarterback for the Bengals and I have to say, even though his team lost to the Steelers and he threw a killer interception late in the 4th quarter, the rookie carries himself with the presence of a 10 year veteran. Now if we can only convince him to dye black tiger stripes across his red hair.

Cardinals 21 Eagles 17 – What CBS did right, FOX did incredibly wrong. With Arizona on the 1 yard line and about to go up late over the heavily favored Eagles, FOX made the inexcusable decision to switch over to the start of the Giants/49ers. Now, I understand that I live in a New York market but someone needs to tell me how it makes sense to take viewers away from the exciting conclusion of a major upset just so we can listen to Joe Buck introduce the 49ers starting offensive line. I would find this decision curious even I were the most diehard Giants fan.

Cowboys 44 Bills 7 – I asked my buddy Casey, a huge Bills fan, if he has any buyers remorse regarding quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick who, after signing a $60 million extension with Buffalo, has put together back to back stinkers against the Jets and now Cowboys. His response, “he’s a heck of a lot better than Rob Johnson, Alex Van Pelt, Trent Edwards, Kelly Holcomb, and J.P. Losman”. Well played kind sir, well played.

Saints 26 Falcons 23 – If Atlanta ends up missing the playoffs this season, many Falcons fans will look back to the questionable decision to go for it on 4th and 1 from their own 29 yard line in overtime as the reason to why their team is watching the football postseason from their sofas. For his transgressions, Mike Smith will not be allowed to shop at the Home Depot until after the holidays.

Dolphins 20 Redskins 9 – From leaders in the Andrew Luck sweepstakes to feisty favorites, this Miami team is shaping into a potential playoff spoiler. Could be that the Dolphins determine the final hierarchy in the AFC East this season.

Broncos 17 Chiefs 10 – Tim Tebow only completed 2 passes yet Denver somehow managed to beat KC thanks mostly to a dominant performance by the defense. To be fair, the Broncos only called 8 passing plays all game. It’s almost like John Fox wants Tebow to fail so that the Bronco fans will get off his back about playing the popular icon. The fact remains, the more Tebow wins, the more likely he becomes a part of the future in Denver.

Bears 37 Lions 13 – Heading into this game, I really liked Chicago’s chances against the Lions, even though Detroit was coming off of a bye and the Bears were still recover after a hard fought win over the Eagles. There’s something missing with this Lions team – like a reliable running game – and their chippy attitude isn’t winning over many fans.

49ers 27 Giants 20 – The Niners are now pretty much assured of at least a #2 seed in the NFC playoffs and with only one loss, could overtake the presently undefeated Packers for the top spot. If San Fran were to host Green Bay in the NFC Championship Game, how much would the Packers be favored by? -3.5?

view from MetLife Stadium courtesy of @gligelis

Weekend Leftovers

Almost as good as the day it was made.

i. Are the Patriots really the best team in the NFL? Sure, their offense is like something out of Pleasantville, but the defense has more flaws than Floyd Mayweather’s tax returns. Let’s wait and see how the New England secondary fairs against the undefeated Buffalo Bills/Ryan Fitzpatrick juggernaut before handing Bill Belichick his 4th Lombardi Trophy. Also, those faint whispers you hear off in the distance are all that remains of the Tedy Bruschi/Chad Ochocinco tweet off. I swear, WEEI was more than partially responsible for overblowing this non story. Anything to take the focus off the epic Red Sox collapse.

ii. At the start of the season, I set the over/under at 4 games before Mike Vick went down with an injury. Needless to say, I wasn’t surprised when the Eagles star QB went down with a minor concussion in the 3rd quarter of last night’s game vs Atlanta. And I know what you’re all going to say, there is no such thing as a “minor” concussion. For those scoring at home, minor concussion ranks just behind “forward lateral” and “student athlete” as the best football oxymoron.

iii. Betting against the Steelers to cover the -14.5 was almost as stupid as my decision not to wear an undershirt at my sister’s summer wedding. When the heat didn’t end up breaking by 5:30 I was left looking and smelling like a pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream.

iv. Congratulations to the Chiefs for officially becoming the team in 2011 that everyone picks against in their suicide pools and fantasy leagues. Although, to be fair, KC has been completely decimated by season ending ACL’s. So if you’re not a fan of head coach Todd Haley, this is your lucky year. Somewhere in Gainesville, Charlie Weis is grinning.

v. I’m happy for Cowboys WR Jesse Holley. His rags to riches story is why we love watching sports. But, the celebration after the catch has got to go. He looked like some sort of preverse cross between Sexual Chocolate and Sergeant Elias gafter he was shot down by Tom Berenger.

view from Met Life stadium courtesy of @ItsMarisaRoss