Tis the Season for Bowling: Part III

TicketCity Bowl: Northwestern vs. Texas Tech(-9.5)
January 1, Noon ET (ESPNU)
“Analysis”: The first of the New Year’s Day bowl games. This could be the earliest I ever break my New Year’s resolutions. “I will no longer drink to make things tolerable.”
VMS Pick: Texas Tech

view of the Chick-fil-A Bowl courtesy of @rgpgreenville

Outback Bowl: Florida(-7.5) vs. Penn State
January 1, 1 pm ET (ABC)
“Analysis”: 7.5 points?! Tell me how. Unless Joe Paterno is lined up under center, there’s no way that the Lions should that big a dawg. Also, I won’t watch this game, because none of the players are good.
VMS Pick: I refuse.

Capital One Bowl: Alabama(-10) vs. Michigan State
January 1, 1 pm ET (ESPN)
“Analysis”: This one’s more like it. I’m sure the good people of Orlando were thrilled when The Tide lost a couple of games, placing themselves out of the BCS picture. With the Spartans just missing out on the Rose Bowl, their attention might be elsewhere, and this one might get late early. Roll Tide (best new commercial on TV)!
VMS Pick: Alabama

Gator Bowl: Mississippi State(-4.5) vs. Michigan
January 1, 1:30 pm ET (ESPN 2)
“Analysis”: I haven’t seen the Bulldogs play one down this year. But with Disney’s infatuation with Shoestring Robinson and Coach Rodriguez, I have seen enough of the Wolverines to know that they only play 9 guys on defense. Not really, but close. If State has a full compliment of offensive players, they’ll win.
VMS Pick: Mississippi St.

Rose Bowl: Wisconsin vs. TCU(-2.5)
January 1, 5 pm ET (ESPN)
“Analysis”: Badger QB Scott Tolzien is a great Manager of the Game. Horned Frog signal caller Andy Dalton has red hair. You make the call. Wisconsin should be able to run the ball, with three backs (White, Clay, Ball) who combined for nearly 3,000 yards and 34 TDs on the ground.
VMS Pick: Wisconsin

We’re not done yet

The “Tis the Season for Bowling” Part II

Independence Bowl: Air Force(-3) vs. Georgia Tech
December 27, 5 pm ET (TBD)
“Analysis”: I’m genuinely surprised that The Falcons are favored here. I thought Georgia Tech was supposed to be pretty good. The ACC must stink even worse than I thought. Anyway, I haven’t seen Air Force play, but I imagine they still run some kind of crazy Wing-T offense up there in Colorado Springs. Tech’s athletic QB Josh Nesbitt will likely be inactive (ahhh, hence the point spread!).
VMS Pick: Air Force

Champs Sports Bowl: West Virginia(-3) vs. NC State
December 28, 6:30 pm ET (ESPN)
“Analysis”: Champs is an awesome store. Whenever I visit a new city, I always try to get to a Champs so I can buy the t-shirt of a local athlete. Nice little tradition. Anyway, this game is being played in Orlando, where the only pro team is the Magic. I would not want any of their t-shirts. None. If someone gave me a shirt that said Reddick on the back of it, I wouldn’t even use it to wipe sweat off of my mortal enemy’s pet bulldog. This game features two up-and-comers at QB: Geno Smith for the Mountaineers and Russell Wilson for The ‘Pack. But the x-factor will be the too quick for his shoes Noel Devine. If he gets loose, this one won’t be close.
VMS Pick: West Virginia

Insight Bowl: Missouri (-2.5) vs. Iowa
December 28, 10 pm ET (ESPN)
“Analysis”: Oh, man. Iowa’s best player, WR Derrell Johnson-Koulianos just got arrested for running something called a ‘drug house’. A drug house?! In Iowa! Anyway, the U. of Iowa was really embarrassed, because DJK also had a bunch of bad stuff in his system at the time of the arrest. Reminder: this all happened in Iowa! Needless to say Derrell will not be gracing the Insight Bowl, nor will a bunch of his teammates, who have all been summarily dismissed from the team. Even without the “Brad’s” (Pitt and Smith), Lesley Stahl, and Jon Hamm, this one should be a laugher for The Zoo..
VMS Pick: Missouri [Read more…]

The “Tis the Season For Bowling” Preview: Part I

Bowl Season kicked off today with the New Mexico Bowl. Here is Part I of our VMS bowl preview with picks. Enjoy!

New Mexico Bowl: BYU(-10.5) vs. UTEP
December 18, 2pm ET (ESPN)
“Analysis”: A long line of 24 year old Mormon quarterbacks beats a school famous for coach Don Haskins and Tim Hardaway.
Pick: BYU

uDrove Humanitarian Bowl: Northern Illinois(-1.5) vs. Fresno St.
December 18, 5:30pm ET (ESPN)
“Analysis”: uDrove sounds like “UNorth”, the fictional agricultural conglomerate in one of my favorite movies, Michael Clayton. Fresno St. comes close to beating Boise State every year. Northern Illinois’s mascot is a docile, skinny-looking hound dog.
Pick: Fresno St.

New Orleans Bowl: Ohio vs. Troy(-2)
December 18, 9pm ET (ESPN)
“Analysis”: Do you remember Gary Trent? He was dubbed “The Shaq of the MAC” for dominating the glass in the mid-90s. I actually didn’t even realize the Bobcats even had a football team. Demarcus Ware went to Troy, which was the site of a major mythological Peloponnesian battle. Don’t expect Homer to write about this one, though.
Pick: Troy

Beef ‘O’ Bradys’ St. Petersburg Bowl: Southern Mississippi vs. Louisville(-3)
December 21, 8pm ET (ESPN)
“Analysis”: “Beef ‘o’ Bradys’”? Really? Apparently, this is some sort of franchised Sports Bar & Grill(e). Southern Miss gave us one Brett [email protected]%^e, who may or may not be retiring at the end of the season. Louisville is the coaching home of Rick Pitino, who leads the Cardinals basketball team which is one of the preeminent programs in the Big East.  Not sure how this helps their football team.
Pick: Tie

Las Vegas Bowl: Utah vs. Boise St.(-17)
December 22, 8pm ET (ESPN)
“Analysis”: The Utes had a pretty solid undefeated run going at the beginning of the season. Then, they lost a bunch of games in a row by Tabernacle-sized margins. Boise was very much in the national title discussion, until Nevada knocked them out in a Saturday night thriller. The Vegas Bowl is a far cry from a BCS game, so look for the Broncos to project some of that anger on an over-matched Utes squad. Field goals will NOT be a factor in this one.
Pick: Boise St.

Poinsettia Bowl: Navy vs. San Diego St.(-4.5)
December 23, 8pm ET (ESPN)
“Analysis”: Here’s what I know about SDSU: Tony Gwynn coaches their baseball team, Steve Fisher coaches their basketball team (who are suddenly really, really good!), and their football team is best known for Marshall Faulk’s near-Heisman season in the early 90s. Navy produces young men/women who protect and serve our country around the globe.  As an American, I’m obligated to go with the team from Annapolis.
Pick: Navy

Hawaii Bowl: Hawaii(-10) vs. Tulsa
December 24, 8 pm ET (ESPN)
“Analysis”: All of the Polynesian young men who aren’t big enough, or fast enough, to take their talents to the Mainland and dominate the Pac-10 end up Rainbow Warriors. Tulsa’s nickname is The Golden Hurricane. Seriously, it is. The Golden Hurricane.
Pick: Hawaii

Little Caesar’s Pizza Bowl: Florida International vs. Toledo(-1.5)
December 26, 8:30 pm ET (ESPN)
“Analysis”: Isiah Thomas is employed by FIU. Someone at that institution thought it was a good idea to give Isiah Thomas money to mold young men and put together an actual  basketball strategy. As a fan of the New York Knicks, I don’t know how FIU qualified for a bowl game, but they CAN NOT WIN. Not possible.
Pick: Toledo

Look for Part II coming next week.  Until then, enjoy the views!!!