Toney Douglas Falls Victim To Linsanity

You know who I really feel for this Wednesday morning? Toney Douglas. Not only must Douglas deal with the extra “e” in his first name he must now wrestle with the simple fact that his role as the Knicks young point guard of the future has been usurped for all eternity by Jeremy Lin.

I see Douglas sitting on the Knicks bench, cheering on his teammates with great enthusiasm while wearing a crisp white towel around his neck and a loose fitting Adidas warmup tshirt without an ounce of sweat on it and I think about what could have been. What if he were able to run the high screen and roll with Tyson Chandler and Amare Stoudemire effectively or finish around the basket without care or concern for his body? What if he were able to match the point for point performance of the NBA’s 5th highest all time leading scorer or drill a 3 pointer at the buzzer to lead team his team to their sixth straight victory? What if he went to an Ivy League school or represented the hopes and dreams of the Asian American community as well as the miscast overachievers who spend entire playing careers working for just that one opportunity to show what they can do? What if?

But really, the story here is not about Tony, or Toney, Douglas. It’s all about Linsanity, with a hashtag.¬†Just to make sure everyone understands how #lintoxicating it has become, Boomer & Carton both said this morning that they would not trade Jeremy Lin to the Orlando Magic for Dwight Howard. This is the same Jeremy Lin who less than a week ago was still sleeping on his brother’s couch. Now, thanks to a guaranteed contract and a new pair of custom Hyperfuses, Lin can afford to sublet former Knick David Lee’s posh White Plains high rise. No word as to whether or not Dwight Howard would find Trump Tower City Center up to snuff.

view from the Air Canada Centre courtesy of @YoungStones810

Top Ten Least Likely 2011 NBA All Stars

When the story of the night in the NBA is the return of Chris Bosh to Toronto, you know the league is need of a little rest. In honor of this weekends 2011 NBA All Star Game in Los Angeles, I have decided to put together a list of the Top Ten NBA players least likely to be seen at the 2011  All Star Game.

10 – Matt Bonner (F, San Antonio Spurs): A quiet trip home to New Hampshire for some downhill skiing and mustache growing sounds about perfect to me.

9 – Greg Oden (C, Portland Trail Blazers): Rumor has it that the former #1 overall pick will be returning to Columbus, Ohio in an attempt to convince current Buckeye Jared Sullinger to stay in school beyond his freshman season.

8 – Kris Humphries (F, New Jersey Nets): Let’s get one thing strait, Kim definitely calls the shots in this relationship.

7 – Marc Gasol (C, Memphis Grizzlies): Sorry little bro, Malibu has enough room for only one Gasol.

6 – Richard Hamilton (G, Detroit Pistons): Poor Rip will be spending his all star break playing the role of Snake Plissken in the Piston version of Escape From Detroit.

5 – Gordon Hayward (F, Utah Jazz): I envision Hayward back in Indianapolis on the Butler campus spending a few nights on Matt Howard’s couch, reliving memories of his old college conquests.

4 – DeMarcus Cousins (C, Sacramento Kings): Are we even sure if Cousins has been cleared for air travel again?

3 – Luke Harangody (F, Boston Celtics): I lived in Boston my first year out of college and I can tell you that it is next to impossible to schedule an appointment for a good haircut.

2 – (tie) Robin and Brook Lopez (C, Phoenix Suns/New Jersey Nets): Video games, comic books, and soda pop beckon.

1 – Gilbert Arenas (G, Orlando Magic): Agent Zero got served, literally.

view of the Air Canada Centre courtesy of @_marzipancakes