Help Wanted: The Los Angeles Lakers Backcourt

The Los Angeles Lakers are in serious jeopardy of being swept by the San Antonio Spurs in the opening round of the Western Conference playoffs. Without Kobe the Lakers were longshots to begin with but are now facing nearly insurmountable odds thanks to in part to a preponderance of injuries sustained by their guards. Steve Nash is all hopped up on numbing pain killers, Jodie Meeks has a bum ankle and now Steve Blake apparently left his hamstring at the Alamo. The fact that the Lakers were already relying on Meeks and Blake says something about their chances to begin with however all signs now point to LA needing a few guards to fill their roster in advance of game 3 Friday night. Here are just a few suggestions.

Matt Kemp – The Dodgers centerfield had already challenged his owner Magic Johnson to a friendly game of one-on-one and may be one of the few baseball players who could hold their own on an NBA court. Actually, the entire starting outfield in Chavez Ravine (Kemp, Carl Crawford and Andre Ethier) are all athletic enough to command a few double teams on the pick up courts of Venice Beach. Probably not what the Dodgers need at this moment as “The Best Team a Billion Dollar Television Contract Could Buy” fights to float above .500.

Fletch – Rovell recently tweeted something about Fletch’s $4 million salary back in ’85 being worth something in the range of $8.6 million today which is totally reasonable for a gritty guard from the streets of Harlem. At his size, 6’9″ with the afro, he could be an impossibly difficult matchup for some of the Spurs shorter guards.

Jerry West – The Logo is always welcome back in Lakerland and could provide some positive mojo for fellow Mountaineer, and 2013 unfortunate sad face, Geno Smith who at last check was immersed in another game of Temple Run while patiently waiting for some NFL team to draft him in the first round. Shouldn’t the NFL offer assurances to all of the players attending the draft that they will not slip past the first 32 picks? Why subject Smith, or the viewing audience, to such an embarrassing, dehumanizing experience? Although, come to think of it, it wouldn’t be the NFL Draft if players weren’t treated as chattel.

Mike D’Antoni – The former Italian League star could give himself a taste of his own medicine and see how his 61 year old body responds to 48 minutes a game after his peddle to the medal, abusive coaching style contributed to the physical breakdown of Kobe Bryant.

Laker Bros – Because the Spurs couldn’t help but take pity on these two poor lost souls.