Fantasy Foursome: The President’s Cup

The President’s Cup, international golf’s version of a red-headed stepchild, returns this week tape delayed and in high definition from the Korea Peninsula where the game’s best, excluding Europeans and Brooks Koepka, endure four grueling days of match play in an attempt to call themselves world champions. Or something like that.

In an effort to preview the upcoming event I’ve decided to dust off the ole scrapbook with a Fantasy Foursome for the 2015 President’s Cup.

Kim Jung-on: Surely the apple can’t fall too far from the tree for the supreme commander/despotic overlord of North Korea whose father, Kim Jung-il once boasted of carding 11-holes in one in a single round. Now if only the North Korean government were as good at supplying their people with power and food as they are with their mid irons.

Donald Trump: A trip to the 38th parallel might very well give the presumptive Republican nominee for President some insight on how to best construct a wall along the US/Mexico border. Suggestion Donald, make sure it includes water hazards from your some of your bankrupt golf courses.

Pope Francis: After he’s done with climate change and income inequality, perhaps the Pontifex could say a few Hail Mary’s for Jordan Spieth’s hairline.

CC Sabathia: Life is a series a mulligans. May the road to sobriety include lots of links and laughs.






A Suitcase For St. Andrews

Moving Day at the Open Championship.

Where it’s either push your way up the leaderboard or pack your bags for next week because this one has slipped away like the sands of the Scottish coastline, worn down from ages upon ages of waves, tides and tempers. Because if there’s anything a Saturday at St. Andrews can do it’s test the patience of golf’s finest champions as they struggle through earth, wind and fire all in an effort to wrap their sinewy claws around golf’s most sought after jug.

Who will survive moving day and at what cost? Will it be the talented American in search of his first major or the lesser known Englishman hoping to make his countrymen proud? The first few pages of the iconic yellow leaderboard are so full of pedigree that the weekend can’t possibly disappoint. Unless Mother Nature has her way in which case we will enjoy the suffering much more than the players involved, hats and hair tossed about as if they were sticking their heads out the window of a vehicle heading down the road to Glasgow or London. Anywhere but here.

 So enjoy your breakfast and pack a light lunch as you settle in front of the television for hours of vertigo inducing viewing. And always remember which end is up, on moving day at the Open Championship.

Home for Golf at the Home of Golf

The Open Championship has never been sweeter than watching St. Andrews from the center of my sofa.

And while a pint would be nice I’ll take a coffee instead. Caffeine over alcohol is my morning vice.

The wind blows cross the Old Course as if propelled out an overinflated set of bagpipes. While, in my house, a warm breeze gently caresses my skin, urging me to get outside and enjoy the beautiful summer day.

I resist mother nature’s siren song and remain indoors, glued to me television screen. Unwilling to flinch or blink for fear that I’ll miss something from Scotland.

Until that is it’s time to take a mid morning snooze. By then St. Andrews will have proven itself fit for a perfect weekend of watching and dreaming.

About aces, eagles and birdies. Fish, chips and Claret Jugs. All the things that make golf so special. Here at my home of golf.

The Spieth Has Landed In Scotland

From Moline to the Moors, the Heartland to the Highlands, the reigning Masters and U.S. Open champion arrives in St. Andrews with a Grand Slam on his mind and a tractor sized paycheck in his pocket following another victory, ho-hum, at the John Deere Classic, a tournament many believed it would be wise for him to bypass on account of much more loftier pursuits. Only time will tell if the tune up in the Quad Cities was worth the detour but either way that 850k will certainly help pay for a few more fishing excursions to the Bahamas.

Waiting in the wings at the home of golf, a collection of ravenous rivals feasting on an opportunity to hoist the Claret Jug. Walker, Woods, Westwood and Watsons young and old. Day and DJ, Rose and Rickie. Fowler that is and if there’s a hotter golfer on the planet right now other than Heir Jordan it would have to be the diminutive dirt bike rider who, fresh off a victory at the Scottish Open, has proven once again to be more substance than style.

And what most Rory be thinking, with ankle elevated and spirit deflated? A little game of footie with friends is always worth the risk but the significance of soccer in the Northern Irishman’s life pales in comparison to the competition on the links and the budding rivalry with a certain 21 year old Texan possessing realistic designs on seizing the world’s top spot from the hobbled McIlroy.

Never a dull moment or dry pint at St. Andrews and the 144th Open Championship.


2015 Sony Open Superlatives

The Sony Open is the first full field event of the 2015 PGA Tour season and it’ll be nice to watch so many familiar faces teeing it up in sunny Honolulu as the current temperature in the Northeast hovers defiantly in the teens. I like these Hawaii tournaments because it’s the only time I get to watch live golf without my kids competing for my attention. For those of you without children, it’s very difficult to analyze Russell Henley’s ball flight when you have a 3 year old whacking you in the shins with a wooden piece of train track.

Ahh, kids are the best. Speaking of progeny…

Group Most Likely Related to Arnold Palmer: Sam Saunders, Scott Pinckney and Kyle Suppa

This could be the year that Sam Saunders finally breaks free of his grandfather’s omnipresent shadow and starts to establish his own legacy in golf. After several seasons of slogging through golf’s minor leagues Saunders earned his PGA Tour card with a top 10 finish at the finals in September. He would also understandably like people to stop talking about the influence his grandfather has had on his golf game, even if being related to the King has had it fair share of perks for Saunders including a standing invite to the Bay Hill Invitational. Regardless, after a while it must get pretty old having people asking you for the proper ratio of iced tea to lemonade.

Group Most Likely To Have Burned A Piece Of Furniture Following The Ohio State’s Victory In The College Football National Championship: Jason Day, Harris English and K.J. Choi

Jason Day lives in OH IO therefore according to the state charter he must root for the Buckeyes, even if he is not a college football fan. And who can blame him really after OSU did every thing short of stuff the Oregon Duck carcass full of fresh herbs and spices on the way to an impressive 42-20 victory in the college football national championship. I’d have a problem with Day jumping on the Buckeye bandwagon if he came from some other part of the country or went to a different college but as a native Aussie all can be forgiven. Now if he ever starts cheering for an American cricket team then we might need to have a few words.

In regards to the celebrations that occurred in Columbus after the game, I for one have never understood the impulse to light furniture on fire. Maybe it’s because I’m older now and my pyromania phase has long since passed or it could be that I would rather choose to sit on a sofa than inhale its noxious pleather fumes. Whatever the case may be, for smart people college kids act real stupid some times.

Last week in my Hyundai Tournament of Champions preview I mentioned how I was picking Jason Day to win the 2015 Masters. According to oddsmakers Day is a 25/1 to win the Masters. Rory is 6/1 while Tiger Woods is second at 15/1. I’m no sharp but those 25/1 odds for Day are right in the gamblers sweet spot. If you’ve got a few extra dollars to spare you might want to plunk a little something down on Day.  Or maybe Bubba to repeat. Matt Kuchar at 30/1 looks good too.

Group Most Likely In Need Of A Bounce Back Season: Luke Donald, Webb Simpson and Matt Kuchar

Luke Donald and Webb Simpson had really disappointing seasons in 2014 culminating with Donald being left off the European Ryder Cup team and Simpson practically begging his way onto the American side. To make matters worse, Simpson’s performance at Gleneagles was less than inspiring, just like all the other Americans save for Spieth/Reed, to the point where one has to wonder if other golfers now resent him for campaigning Tom Watson so hard for that final captain’s pick. Does Chris Kirk carry on a grudge this year to the point where when playing with Simpson he refuses to mark his ball on the putting surface or stop talking during one of Webb’s backswings? Something to watch out for at least.

As for Luke Donald, I’m rooting for him to have a good season if only because he looked so short standing next to Michael Jordan and Derek Jeter. Although, come to think of it, he gets to play golf and hang out with Michael Jordan and Derek Jeter so maybe he doesn’t need our sympathy after all.

Group Most Likely To Have A Successful Second Career As A Radio Broadcaster: John Daly, Kevin Kisner and James Hahn

I haven’t listened to John Daly’s radio show on Sirius/XM but I imagine it is highly entertaining. I wonder if FOX would ever consider putting JD up in a tower to call this year’s U.S. Open from Chambers Bay. Think about, new network to golf, trying to attract an audience hires the ever popular/controversial Daly to describe the action on one of the closing holes of a major championship. He would be honest and refreshing heck, get a few Diet Cokes in him and he may start spinning yarns about that time(s) he played golf without shoes or a shirt. It’s a slam dunk. If you need a press agent Mr. Daly you can always find me hiding behind my keyboard.

Regarding FOX’s coverage of the U.S. Open, I’m not one of those Joe Buck haters who wants to smack that smug grin off his face. In fact, I find his football and baseball schtick to be totally palatable. Golf however is a different story as we have all grown accustomed to the smooth, melancholic monotones of Jim Nantz and Dan Hicks as they serenade our ears with pithy anecdotes. Joe Buck does not have a lot of experience calling golf therefore I worry that there will be times this June when he gets so caught up in the action that he makes a Justin Rose putt for par sound like Dez Bryant’s catch against the Packers. (That was totally a catch by the way!!!) I understand we need to give FOX a chance but if they decide to include Mike Pereira in the booth alongside Buck and Greg Norman then all of Texas might start twitching.

Group Most Likely To Win The 2015 Sony Open: Hideki Matsuyama, Angel Cabrera and Robert Streb

It’s only a matter of time before the 22 year old Matsuyama wins a major, he’s that good. A win at the Sony Open and we might start talking about him like we do Jordan Spieth, and maybe Patrick Reed, as the greatest long term threat to the Reign of Rory.