Real Names As Movie Characters

Fern Cunningham is a renowned sculptor and advocate for racial equality in the United States. But if “Fern Cunningham” were a movie character the possibilities would be endless.

Fern Cunningham is….

– an assistant district attorney in Mobile, Alabama famous for bringing down a group of pelican poachers called “The Gumbo Gang”.

– the owner of a taco truck in Sante Fe, New Mexico specializing in open faced shrimp po-boys and Arnold Palmer’s brewed with live scorpions.

– the starting center of the Bismarck Bison, a small minor league basketball team in North Dakota that had their season cut short by the installation of another nuclear missile silo.

– the sinister operator of a funeral home in Bridgeport, Conn that due to the faltering economy has begun offering it’s services to beloved house pets.

– a burnout bassist for a popular pop/rock band from the late ’60s called “The Sea Horses” who once popularized the phrase “Smoke rises watch the mist fall, let my love be the last thing of all”.

– a hipster from Brooklyn who attempts to make a living selling both vintage t-shirts depicting former senator Russ Feingold and hummus stuffed popovers.

– the head of a Delta Kappa Epsilon fraternity in Dayton, Ohio whose father, Fern Sr., is a high powered Chicago architect who has promised the young Fern a job upon completion of his 6th year of college.

– a mother of 4, retired art teacher who spends most of her days knitting socks for her 10 grandchildren while recording medical advice from Dr. Oz.

– a young, heavy set florist from East St. Louis who owns and operates a store called “Fern’s Ferns” specializing in bouquet wedding arrangements.